Fear and anxiety at the pediatrician

Did anyone else have anxiety when having their vitals taken at the pediatrician? I remember the butterflies seeing the thermometers in the holders, one oral, one rectal. I would be so nervous once my blood pressure was completed and the nurse would then decide which thermometer was to be used. This was in the 60's, so there were no other choices. If she went to the cabinet first, it was to get Vaseline and my heart sunk.

I did not have rectal temperatures taken after about age five. My anxiety kicked in when I got to be 11 and it was because I feared having my briefs dropped down and my penis inspected and my balls felt.

Yeah definitely. I think part of what is to me now a fetish grows out of the anxiety I felt back then. One of my earliest memories of going to the doctor for what turned out to be a full physical, I was maybe 7 or 8 and my older brother was 10 or 11. We were taken back to a suite of rooms that they called the "family suite" which was larger than the 3 or 4 other exam rooms. It was an L shaped main area with one side of the L for consultation and preliminaries and the other side of it had the main exam area with the table. Then across the hall was a room where they did certain things like hearing tests, bloodwork, etc. We went into the first area and the doctor talked with my parents while a younger male assistant, either a nurse or maybe a med student, got things ready on the other side. I heard him pulling down fresh paper on the table and saw him adjusting the big mobile lights.

The doctor finished and told my parents he would be right back and said to the assistant "you can get started." The assistant pulled out a BP cuff and a tray with things for the vitals, like thermometers, etc. and told my parents "have the boys take their shirts off."

I can still remember the anxiety and nervousness.

My anxiety was always about the dread instruction to pull down my pants and bend over for an injection in the bottom (penicillin when ill and booster shots when I wasn't).

I think it was more anxiety than fear. When the nurse took my blood pressure I was very nervous, so nervous that everyone thought I had high pressure, Taht lead to my pressure being taken regularly by a family member who was a nurse.

The build up of tension at that age is total because unlike when you are older, you are told commands which you have to obey, which you knew going in that you would have to obey, and you, unlike the ones making the commands, have no idea what they will be or how far things will go. Undressed. Totally vulnerable.

For me, it was always a mixture of a strange kind of excitement mixed in with anxiety. Most of my (& I had a lot) of paediatric exams were school - based. I didn't really understand what was going to happen during my very first exam aged just 7.

I have described some of these exams in other posts. I do recall the excitement of all the boys in the class (there were 46 pupils in the class - c.22/23 boys) being 'herded' down to the school hall and then being told to take off all of our clothes apart from vest and pants. We then had to sit in silence (on old wooden PT benches) until our names were called out...when we went behind screens were the school nurse / doctor was stationed. Discipline was strict. Anyone who whispered or giggled was hauled out and spanked / slippered in front of everyone immediately. Very embarrassing in your underwear. A few boys did not wear vests, so were just sitting there in their pants.

I was nervous when it was my turn to be examined. Doctors were authority figures to be obeyed..but they were quite brisk and friendly enough. After only 2 or 3 minutes into the exam, I was told to take my vest off. At age 7, I can't quite recall exactly how I felt when the doctor ordered me to remove my underpants and I was then standing naked. I think I was shocked ( probably surprise - and, yes, his hands did feel cold) when he took hold of my penis and sort of pulled / squeezed it and the palpating of my juvenile balls. No one had ever touched me in that way before. The thing I was embarrassed about was when I had to bend over and present my bottom / anus to him. There was no DRE..but he did part my bum cheeks, feel around and shone a light up my hole!!

Still naked, I was told to collect my underwear and to get dressed in a small area between where he examined me and the exit back into the main hall. Whilst I was briefly nude there, the next boy in looked at me and smiled nervously. I pulled on my underwear and sat back on the bench in the hall. We had to stay there until everyone had been examined.

The following year....I obviously knew what to expect. By the time I knew the exact date of the examination....I always began to get wound up / slightly anxious beforehand...I knew that I would be naked by the end of the exam and I knew that my genitals would be inspected. I also knew that I would see some of my classmates naked /nearly naked. I am sure it is where a lot of my MedFet obsession comes from. Yes..School Doctor....what a job..he had the authority to make us boys take off all our clothes....everything...what power!!

Yes, I had often fear and anxiety when my mom took me to the exams, mostly by the paediatrician or by the gastro-doc at the childrens clinic. My greatest fear was about the long and thorough abdominal exams,about that I get nausea what mostly happened and that I would vomit what happened few times (!) and about abdominal and navel pain during the long and deep palpation of my outie navel (hernia), what mostly hurt badly!

Yes, defenetly, I always felt fear and anxiety during my doctor's appointments as a kid. It was fear of the unknown as to what was going to happen to me. There was always the fear of getting strip down to nothing or getting a shot.

What I remember as a child from some medical professionals was the complete lack of respect and awareness that I was a person and it was MY BODY that they were messing with. Dialog was between them and my parents, and they just did what they wanted to me, without explaining or waiting for consent. I felt in retrospect as if I was an animal, something that they didn't need to bother interacting with.

Later on it got better.

Moliere and Wrestling Poet both make very good points. I am sure it was the same in the USA as it was in the UK during the years 1959 - 1970 when I was at Junior School ( aged 7 - 11) then Grammar School ( aged 11 - 17 ). Discipline was harsh, CP was endemic and we were conditioned to obey without question.

How crazy some of this was. Allow me to explain. School medicals themselves were similar at GS to J S...apart from the 'mass examination' element. In my first year at G S, I was only one of a handful of boys in the class to be examined. I fretted a little after having returned the parental consent letter...so I knew the date / time well in advance. A prefect wòuld collect you from whichever lesson you were in and deliver you to the examination room ( the deputy head's study, temporarily converted ). You sat on a chair in the corridor ( others passing by would give you knowing glances / looks ) until you were called in by the school nurse. I always began to get nervous sitting there, knowing that I would soon be stripping off.

But that first G S exam, aged 11.,.oh my...was I ever in a ridiculous quandary and sick with worry. You see, the school had ultra strict rules about uniform. I had already been in detention for not wearing my school cap (6 miles away, after school, walking home - a member of the general public had 'phoned the school - the uniform was very distinctive - to report me!!) and I had been slippered hard for being 'slovenly' ( socks not tidy enough after playtimes - knee socks, as we wore short trousers). So here was a dilemma when the school nurse ordered me to undress. I panicked...not wearing your school blazer was a caning offence. Only the headmaster ( an extremely fierce and forbidding authoritarian ) could give you permission to remove your blazer.

The nurse was cross because I was dithering and called the doctor because I wasn't starting to get undressed. Now I was doubly scared that I might be reported for disobedience. Actually the doctor saw the funny side of it and he realised that my reluctance to take off my blazer was very genuine. He explained that that rule did not apply in a medical situation, not unreasonably telling me that he could hardly examine me properly with my clothes on.....so would I mind taking them all off. Crazy but true.

I'm not sure how many other members have noticed something similar, but I am firmly of the opinion that those experiences are one of the big reasons why I am currently such a control freak when I'm interacting with the medical profession even today (the other reasons are from a few bad reactions to drugs and unexpected mis-communications). I guess the other way it could go (and is common here) is fetishizing the loss of control and objectification. I wonder if anyone has them mixed? I guess that would be fetishizing it in "play" and being very controlling in real life.

In answer to Moliere, with apologies for moving this discussion off a bit, I will admit that once I have a handle, on medical, legal, financial issues, I have to restrain my controling response. With medical, if I get unexpected results, I will try to assess why. Did the lab handle the specimen collection correctly? But having been sexually assaulted by an authority figure, (religious), I have found other aspects of the medical experience, (physical exams), allow me to safely release control.

I had major anxierty about going to the doctor as a kid...fear of the unknown, being exposed, inspected. As an adult, some of this has carried forward.

Every exam as a kid, we were told "everything off, down to your underpants...doctor will be in in just a bit". I still get a knot in my stomach when I hear that.

Yes, when the nurse told my mom to get me undressed I got a knot in my stomach. Having my temperature and blood pressure taken were scary to me. And worried about shots but the worst part was I almost always got a blood test because of medical problems I had.

Definitely, as soon as the nurse said "ok, strip everything off except your underwear." Then I always got really nervous between undressing, vitals taken with my mom and sister both in the room. There were containers on shelves filled supplies: thermometers, wipes & cotton balls, gloves, cups for urine samples, etc.."

My anxiety really grew after I turned either at 11 or 12 years old. I was shocked the very first time when my doctor(himself) pulled down my underwear. Then standing naked as he took held & moved my penis around followed by retracting my foreskin. After that he moved on to feeling & squeezed my balls. Of course, the exam ended with the "turn your head and cough".

Up until I was six or seven, when my temp was taken rectally, yes I felt anxiety.

I remember feeling sick in the waiting room, even the drive up to the doctors, knowing that I would soon have to undress and be examined. I felt naked and violated throughout the entire experience. The doctor wouldn't ask me questions but my mother, and he would just tell me to underdress or remove the gown immedielty, or if the odd occasion happened when I could stay dressed, I would get a hand stuck into my panties out of nowhere with through touching and peeking into my panties by the doctor. I hated it so much. I would then I have to even stand up and "touch your toes" while he would pull down my panties to examine my anus.

Every visit to the doctor's involved a rectal temp, and almost always, a painful shot in the buttocks.

It was always such an overwhelming experience, with the knots in my stomach, fearing the dreaded pants down for all of the procedures with my butt. I think about it all of the time now.

Like you, Sundaybrunch, almost every visit to the doctor involved at least one injection in the bottom and that was what I feared most. Also like you, I often think about it now - albeit nostalgically.

I think my anxieties came from hearing other kids screaming and crying. I always wondered what horrible thing was being done to them to make them scream and cry. Since I was a puny kid, I was always hauled off to the doctor if I was sick. To this day, my stomach clenches in fear if I am in a doctors office and I hear a kid crying, even if I am not the one being seen!

Other than fear of the unknown, I've never really had fear going to any doctor or procedure. Maybe some apprehension, but I definitely had anxiety about going to my pediatrician. To this day, I still have anxiety about going to any doctor. Even if i know I'm not going to have to undress, there's still the "what if..." scenario that gets me worked up. If I'm going for a physical or any reason that I know I will end up exposed to the doctor, my anxiety is through the roof. My medfet, excitement, and anxiety are all kind of one big package, rolled into one complicated emotion. The exposure, embarrassment, and the imbalance of power are what it's all about for me. And I think this all started at my pediatrician's.

I did until I was allowed to go into the exam room alone. The difference between the year I was 13, and my mother was in the room, and when I was 14 or 15 and getting examined alone was huge. I was so nervous the year I was 13 and my mother saw the doctor make me pull my panties down and so empowered almost when I was 15 and had to take them all the way off for the pediatrician.

I still think about both of those exams very frequently though.

I would feel frighten in the waiting room, very nervous because I knew what was coming at the exam. Having to undress into my undies, having my mother in the exam room, having the doctor examine my penis and my mother watching while I would get an erection and since my penis was very sensitive and the doctor would thoroughly exam my penis, I would ejaculate. It was very shameful and embarrassing to say the least.

Growing up - those years of grade school and high school - meant a yearly physical with the pediatrician, usually in late August or sometime in September like clock work! At times, it always seemed that one was receiving shot(s) following every exam or being required to return for one! Either way, there was never any expectation of a choice. A date was circled on the wall calendar and it was a done deal! The usual was to be told the night before to encourage a shower or the morning of the exam or sometimes that I would miss a part of school. Either one cause butterflies and the urge to use the bathroom a few times before heading out.

The ride out, often in the company of my mother, was one of dead silence. I had no desire to talk and surely didn't wish to ask what awaited me. She would often remark, "Do what ever the doctor needs so we can leave." We didn't live far from the office and it always surprised me that she got there in record breaking time. So much for a car jam or bad weather. Never was an appointment cancelled. She had this annoying habit of finding a very close parking space - no promise of an escape! From there, it was into the building and get on the elevator to the 4th floor and go down the long hallway to his office suite. I always thought that his office being located next to the fire stairwell was just a cruel reminder of rotten luck.

The reception area was unremarkable; chairs back to back and lined along the wall. The room was always full; anxious teens awaiting their fate. At least seeing the doctor who saw adolescents helped compared to the crying youngsters in the other waiting room. Still, there was little that calmed my nerves or tummy. Hearing names called only added to the distress and certainty that I would be next to follow the nurse, which often happened! Seeing others disappear as they entered the exam hall only added to my stress and when my turn, well, I became nearly mute. I barely spoke when questioned; the usually response was to mumble or nod.

Once in the hallway, the usual was to go and provide a urine sample and then head back to the exam room that was being reserved just for you. Upon returning, one heard a familiar set of instructions, "Undress, you can leave your briefs on." Such cruel irony since they came off relatively soon as one became reacquainted with his birthday suit. The intimate nature of the exam contributed to lasting memories more so than the experience of receiving shots.

So I would have to conclude by saying that the exam experience over time has fully embraced a myriad of anticipation, expectation, emotions and reactions.

The trip into town to the local clinic always felt like I has going to my own execution. The dread was very real. After my weigh-in out in the hall came the finger lance for my blood draw, followed by the smell of alcohol and the wrist snapping shakedown of that thermometer as I laid on my stomach with my pants down on that crinkling exam table paper. You might indeed say I was anxious. That’s why I’m here on Zity 50 years later.

I usually got sick about every 6 months, in addition to a yearly checkup, which meant 3 trips to the pediatrician's office with at least one of my parents in the room. I would literally get butterflies every time the nurse would shake down the thermometer and apply the vaseline with me lying face down on the exam table. Especially later in my teen years it would affect me more. Of course, when you had an elevated temperature you would think about the dreaded penicillin shot to come. Even then it was never over. At home my temperature would be taken every 4 hours until it finally went down. To get back to school I would then have to go back to the doctor's office to get a note from him, which included another rectal temperature, followed by a fairly quick exam.

From reading about the dread that so many boys felt regarding pediatrician visits I realize even more how lucky I was. Other than getting shots, I loved going to my pediatrician. He was a kindly, gentle, loving soul and I enjoyed the feeling of someone caring so much about me and giving me personal attention. But the main reason I would count the days to my physical was because of the enjoyment it seemed to give my mom to see me remove nearly all my clothes (everything had to come off right away except underpants), then the pleasure she got from seeing the doc strip me naked for the genital check, and most of all having mom enjoying watching the doc lovingly handling my testicles and penis. I knew from things mom had said at various times that she was very interested that my testicles and penis be healthy and working properly, and she was especially looking forward to seeing hair grow above my penis. When mom was on the phone scheduling my "puberty physical" (age 13) she told me that the doc offered boys that age the option of not having the mother in the room while the exam takes place. I could see by the look on her face that she very much wanted to be right there with me as she always had been, and it gave me pleasure to say to her "I absolutely want you right there with me". This brought a big smile to her face and I felt wonderful. It always made me happy (and still makes me happy) to give others enjoyment, and especially to my mom, who I loved and who loved me so dearly, and I knew how much she would enjoy seeing me finally with pubic hair. At the exam when doc stripped me it gave me indescribable pleasure as I saw mom's face beaming with delight as she for the first time saw hair sprouting above her beloved boy's now more "sexy" looking penis.

I never got nervous about going to the doctors as a kid, but there was always a feeling of the unknown when I went. At the age of five when I went because I was ill the doc decided to carry out a full exam on me and got my parents to strip me down to my briefs (I never had my willy examined at the docs only in my annual exams at school).

From then on it was going into the unknown when I went. Sometimes just taking my shirt off for them to listen to my heart, lungs or tummy or sometimes going down to my undies in front of one of my parents and also my older brother.

There was always tremendous anxiety when I went to the pediatrician's office, or when he came to the house during a housecall. I could endure the pain of those shots, and was a "good boy" when it was time to take my oral medications. The thing that was most significant, was the all too common discussion about my bowels.

His nurse had usually asked my mom about my bowel habits, but the doctor seemed to be extremely concerned to the extent I figured he was obsessed. Maybe he was extra thorough, but I seldom had a visit where he didn't tell my mom to "give that kid an enema". Sometimes the question was "have you been giving him those enemas"?

My mom was a very compliant type with authority figures, but she was a control freak around home with me. She made sure I got an enema before, and after, the doctor visit. She always wanted to reply in the affirmative when asked. I suspect that my grandma was complicit in that she seemed to be ever present and encouraged the procedure. Enemas were very common around our home and the pediatrician and his nurse were on board. My sisters got their share as well.

When the doctor retired as I turned 12, his replacement was a nice guy who took an entirely different approach. My enemas at home subsided a great deal, although my mom's old habits didn't totally disappear. Besides, I had begun self administering several years prior. At least I didn't have to lie when asked if I had a BM today.