How many sex partners have you had?

Radio- You were lucky to have time for sex. My whole career was as a touring musician. My schedule was essentially- on stage, motel or bus, endless radio station interviews, sound check, dinner, on stage.

I had a few weeks off, and I would sleep, and avoid people. If I found enough time for sex, it was enough time for a nap.

What if a sexy dominatrix ties you up, she puts a fat dildo connected to a fucking machine in your ass, she hooks up some e-stim on for good measure, and then she and her friends just flip switches, turn dials, and cheer while you cum several times? I think that should count.

What if a sexy dominatrix ties you up, she puts a fat dildo connected to a fucking machine in your ass, she hooks up some e-stim on for good measure, and then she and her friends just flip switches, turn dials, and cheer while you cum several times? I think that should count.

NOPE. A partner is someone on equal footing.

You can't generally touch a dominatrix.

If you count that, you have to count rape because that's the full monty.

If you really want to count it I won't argue. I'll condescend to you.

Well I guess my count is going down. So the times I gave a man a handjob does not count as sex. It did to him I bet. And the times I met another woman at a bar, we got in a car, then made out, fingered each other and then she went home to her husband.

Hey I am more innocent than I give myself credit for.

I think giving a handjob to a friend, being on equal footing would count.

A glory hole handjob wouldn't. Not to me anyway.

If a guy ejaculated when his penis was being examined, would that make the doctor a sex partner???

The great majority of these replies seem very unrealisticallly low.

The last woman I asked (age about 40) how many men she had sex with, she said "about 50". She was married to a much older man who, for medical reasons, could no longer have sex, She asked me if I would help her since she could no longer have orgasms from masturbation. It ended all too soon. That's the downside of being a Sex Therapist.

I was a divorced guy with a beach house during one of those periods where casual sex was the norm, and so my total number of sex partners became very high. It was during this period where I met a lot of very interesting women, including the best lover of all time. A few are still friends.

Another way to end up with a lot of partners is to accept an invitation to a Swingers' Party, or a BDSM Party. I've accepted a number of those invitations, and as a result, my total number of female partners with whom I've had some kind of sexual experience is now more than 200.

I haven't been looking to have "a lot" -- just one -- but that special one has been elusive for many years now.

If a guy ejaculated when his penis was being examined, would that make the doctor a sex partner???

Hey, that actually happened to me. A female doc massaged my prostate and held my penis to collect some prostate fluid. She could tell I liked it, and she invited me to her house, ostensibly to check out her high end home theater system. I came very close to accepting her invitation. Can I up my count by 1? It didn't start out equal footing, but it ended up that way. On the other hand it was only prostate fluid. However, now that I think of it, this (sexual?) encounter started me down a path to countless anally enhanced or anally triggered orgasms. Come on Susie, let me count it.

The great majority of these replies seem very unrealisticallly low.

From my perspective and from talking with friends about this, the majority of replies sounds incredibly high and unrealistic. With a bit of upwards fudging and using a low threshold, I end up with 5 partners, of which 2 are borderline of what I'd count as being a partner. Most of my friends, from what I have heard them tell, are in the same range, no one getting to double digits. And while I have to take them at their word, I don't get any sense they are covering up or trying to look more moral or anything.

So, no offense, but I often have my eyes wide open in wonderment when I hear of 50 or 200 partners. Seems almost like a full time occupation in and of itself, must be quite time-consuming.

I suppose my friends and I are of a same social and moral make-up, with similar character traits and personalities - in broad lines of course. Sleeping around much doesn't seem to be part of what we do. And I don't really know if that is a shame or not. I often think yes, what missed opportunities, but on the other hand, I know that it causes less drama and problems in our relationships. With a few exceptions, most of my friends are still with/married to the same girlfriends we had at university, a few are divorced or alone because of deaths. I've been seeing/dating some of the females friends who are now on their own and believe me, I haven't succeeded in getting any into even a one-night stand let alone a relationship. They seem to take things seriously.

Life is difficult to figure out ... 😢

I am over 70 years old and that question would have to be answered honestly with over 100, yes over 100. I have in the past 40 years had 25 alone and that doesn't count incestual relations with some cousins and a Niece through marriage and her daughter, yes her daughter. They both were fantastic, the mother actually told the daughter and she came on to me. I could not pass up a good thing. The daughter had a much sweeter pussy than the mother but the mother could fuck better. They both had shaved and manicured vaginas, the mother had a shaved completely shaved pussy which was strange for a 50 yr old woman and the daughter had a V manicured on hers. Loved them both...

I have done friends wives who don't get any from their husbands, daughters friends, and my ex wife's complete list of sorority sisters, even did her cousin while we were married...that was the best one. The cousin hated her cousin for marrying me and wanted to get even and she did we did it for 15 years...ex wife never found out.. Also did my ex mother in law now there was a strange piece of ass, she was better than her daughter. She would come over to the house when the daughter went to work during the week and I was off...that was sweet...

I used to be an international service engineer and had a sex partner in almost every location. Often the local managers would introduce me to a nice lady and she would take care of me in every way during my stay (usually it was a married woman who was not getting it from her husband). I spent between 2 and 6 weeks in each location and ended up with 16 different nationalities, most of them Asian. Some of the ladies were older than me yet were quite acrobatic in bed. I ended up marrying the last one and she had me promoted to a management job at head office.

@agracier said

From my perspective and from talking with friends about this, the majority of replies sounds incredibly high and unrealistic. With a bit of upwards fudging and using a low threshold, I end up with 5 partners, of which 2 are borderline of what I'd count as being a partner. Most of my friends, from what I have heard them tell, are in the same range, no one getting to double digits. And while I have to take them at their word, I don't get any sense they are covering up or trying to look more moral or anything.

So, no offense, but I often have my eyes wide open in wonderment when I hear of 50 or 200 partners. Seems almost like a full time occupation in and of itself, must be quite time-consuming.

I suppose my friends and I are of a same social and moral make-up, with similar character traits and personalities - in broad lines of course. Sleeping around much doesn't seem to be part of what we do. ......

Yes, much depends on your own inclination to experience different partners and also the social climate you are in. I mentioned in my earlier post on this thread that my university years were a 'busy' time. I've worked out that during those 3 years I slept with 14, 8 and 11 women, and I believe those figures are accurate. That is a total of 33 in my time there, with an average of 11 in the 9 months out of each of those years I was actually studying. Looking back, I think it would have been harder to avoid those numbers unless I had shut myself away in my room alone and never spoken to anyone. But sexual encounters did result simply from being around women. Some were fairly casual, but I think more were known to me for a while before anything happened.

I think the most partners I had in a year was when I was 16, but ignoring that year and my university years, the average for me would be around 3.28 women per year, which I don't consider too unusual.

As for what counts as a sexual partner, I'm defining it as sexual intercourse. When you say you slept with someone, sexual intercourse is what it is taken to mean for heterosexual people. Reluctance to say precisely what sex acts are performed is partially the reason for referring to sex as 'sleeping' with someone, but full intercourse is assumed regardless of what else might have happened. If the activity was limited only to oral sex, masturbation etc, you would not say you had slept with someone, but instead, Person A performed a sex act X on person B.

I'm sure it does have to be recognised that for people who are not strictly heterosexual, the definition becomes rather blurred and it cannot always be assumed that the activity was penetrative. It could mean different things depending on sexual orientation.

DrZ said (among other things)

As for what counts as a sexual partner, I'm defining it as sexual intercourse. When you say you slept with someone, sexual intercourse is what it is taken to mean for heterosexual people. Reluctance to say precisely what sex acts are performed is partially the reason for referring to sex as 'sleeping' with someone, but full intercourse is assumed regardless of what else might have happened. If the activity was limited only to oral sex, masturbation etc, you would not say you had slept with someone, but instead, Person A performed a sex act X on person B.

Thank you!

So for you people - who just want to know the numbers, I have fucked 32 men and three women. SO FAR - 😉 And if you're just wanting the numbers - there they are. BUT - if you want TMI, then read on. 😉

During 68-69 - 2 guys, freshman in high school where - I lost my cherry and had my fire ignited by someone who didn't have a clue, but tried real hard and way too fast; 69-70 - 2, sophomore in high school - I was good looking and knew it; 70-71 - 3, junior in high school - and it was a time when things started to get serious and it was more than sex, but not really, hey, I had to tell myself something; 71-72 - 5, senior in high school - and the summer after, and I was out just to have fun and live life. I remember all their names - and they are decent guys to this day, and I liked fucking them all.

From 72-75 - 1, a smooth talker got into my panties and I got pregnant by a guy who became my first husband, an older man, ancient guy of 32. He got me pregnant with my second child - he had a habit of cleaning his fist and it would go off accidentally. So - I'm not real fond of that bastard.

From 75-76 -1, I got married again but it only lasted a few months. He had a 'friend' - and in 76 I was sexually assualted by this piece of shit acquaintance of my 2nd husband and my husband left me. The rat bastard that raped me went to prison after five years of legal bull shit and whatever. I'm not sure who makes me puke the most - the asshole that raped me or the ex that left me. It's six of one - and a half dozen of the other as far as I'm concerned.

So from 76 - 81 - 0, and my self esteem was in the basement and no one wanted to hang out with someone who was going through the legal circus where I felt like I was the one on trial. Me being on the pity potty - and letting people talk shit is my bad, they would not have had any effect on my if I hadn't let them. So - if I want to get pissed at someone, I'll just look in the mirror. But when I look in the mirror now - oh hell, how could I be mad at her? 😉 😁 😁 😁

But from 81-84 - 15, I went to college and worked my way through while raising two kids, as a single mom but I had a great support system in my sisters and my folks. I was promsicuous as hell - not a great role model for my kids but there it is. In spite of me - they turned out great, they must be because they know everything. 😉 It was during this time that - I got my masters in business accounting and turned my catering and sewing into some nice little businesses. A lot of the guys I was fucking during that time - were business contacts, contractors, a banker or two, and some pretty decent guys to tell the truth. I do not - and let me repeat that, I do not regret fucking any of them. Not one. 🌹

Then from 84-14 - 1, I married a great guy and had my last daughter. But something was missing in my life - things had gone 'dry' and then I uttered the word enema to a certain friend and ever since 13 or 14-?? - 5 + 3 women, so far. 😉 I have more confidence - self esteem, and I sure as hell know that I am one lucky woman when all is said and done. If you're keeping score - that is 32 men and 3 women. My husband - is one of the 5 from 84 until now.

I'm not done - nope. 😉

DrZ,

I agree with most of what you said, however, if two people get in bed together (or anywhere else) and have oral sex I believe that is sex. I am not a believer in the Bill Clinton theory of sex.

Course

I completely agree with DrZ's definition of sex . I also agree with Clintons theory . Maybe a good definition of sex would be two bodies meeting as one . Not sure how that definition would work in a F/F relationship but thats a different story .

I want to go back to Agraciers sentiments that he finds some of the counts high . When I was a teen we had a small tight group of friends all throughout middle & high school and into college . Amoung us were some friends that were a few years older . One of them in particular ( we are still good friends) fell in " love" with a new guy almost weekly, all throughout high school , I only remember a handful of her relationships lasting 4-6 weeks , tops ! We would affectionately tease her and ask , who is the new flavor this week ?

So do the math , and I will err on the side of underestimating. Say an average of one partner a month ( she hardly ever had a dry spell and slept with every single one of them lol ) just high school alone that was 48 and again I underestimated ! So you can see how it adds up quick . She went away to post graduate school and met her future husband there . We used to joke around and say that she had to go to the opposite coast to find a guy that she hadnt already bedded ! Lol

I agree with most of what you said, however, if two people get in bed together (or anywhere else) and have oral sex I believe that is sex. I am not a believer in the Bill Clinton theory of sex.

Yes, oral sex is sexual activity. It is a type of sex act, and is often (wrongly) thought of by some as only foreplay before intercourse. But there is no getting away from how in conversation, when you say "I had sex with Person A", and they were therefore a sexual partner, it is implied that you had intercourse with that person. It isn't understood as meaning, "We performed sex acts on each other, and we aren't going to specify them out of politeness, but vaginal intercourse may or may not have happened".

Like it or not, when you speak of a man and woman "having sex", it means they fucked. That is what is understood.

@bridgette said -

..... Not sure how that definition would work in a F/F relationship but thats a different story .....

Yes, that is one type of coupling where we can be more flexible about the definition. It is the heterosexual definition that is very clear.

I want to go back to Agraciers sentiments that he finds some of the counts high .

I believe other people's counts of course. It's just odd - or disappointing? - that in my different circles of friends, almost no one would even remotely qualify for a high number. I bet most would think 10 a high number.

And of course when I was young and at university, parents and the older generation thought all kinds of debauchery was going on. If there was - outside of beer consumption to rival that of a Bavarian Bierfest - I did not much notice anything. So sad. The Summer of Love was something that happened to other people ... ha ha

And of course when I was young and at university, parents and the older generation thought all kinds of debauchery was going on. If there was - outside of beer consumption to rival that of a Bavarian Bierfest - I did not much notice anything. So sad. The Summer of Love was something that happened to other people ... ha ha

If your parents thought you were involved in the debauchery anyway, the least you could have done was to prove them right. 😁

5

I don't consider incest anything other than amongst first degree relatives, though I think grandparents would be kind of creepy.

But I don't consider sex amongst cousins to be incest at all.

agracier said

. . . . that in my different circles of friends, almost no one would even remotely qualify for a high number. I bet most would think 10 a high number. . . .

Your friends just don't know how to have a good time!!! 😁 😁 😁

Zika said , " But I don't consider sex amongst cousins to be incest at all. "

I think I draw the line at first cousins . When your uncle becomes your father-in-law and your aunt your mother-in-law and you share the same grandparents that becomes pretty creepy . Altho it does shrink the wedding guest list ( wonder who's side of the church everyone sits on ) and less christmas presents to buy ! ???

I think I draw the line at first cousins . When your uncle becomes your father-in-law and your aunt your mother-in-law and you share the same grandparents that becomes pretty creepy . Altho it does shrink the wedding guest list

I don't think anyone was discussing first cousins actually and legally marrying. There are laws governing the degree of family relationship allowed amongst prospective spouses. Marriage amongst first cousins is usually prohibited, unless perhaps with special dispensation. Second and third cousins is usually easier to arrange, especially as this is prevalent among many North African cultures - as a means of keeping wealth and property within the extended family circle.

But when the discussion is about sex with no intention of marriage or procreation, why should anyone care? How many stories have we heard about brothers teaching, demonstrating or helping their brothers how to masturbate? You could with a degree of justification, call it instances of homosexual incest. No one does though, luckily.

In high school we had a few and especially in college, my husband and I as well as our friends had a good number of friends with benefits.

Studying together, having time between classes, skipping lunch were all reasons to have a quick fuck in the middle of the day. We had many partners.

The frequency of this declined as we completed graduate school.

Your friends just don't know how to have a good time!!! 😁 😁 😁

In any case, they must have had a very different definition of fun. In retrospect you are probably right.

Once, ten of us were vacationing together at a cabin with a small lake and somebody suggested skinny-dippy. I could tell the idea appealed to most everyone in an abstract way, like something that should be done on principle - in Dutch they say 'nou ja, moet kunnen' - but which in and of itself wasn't a big deal or even that much fun. Everyone agreed, but only on condition I left my ever-present camera behind. No nudie photos allowed ... ha ha. Which I found disappointing, as photos are the best part of memories.

Anyway, out of that group of 10, only 3 of us didn't pursue a career in academia and 5 got a PhD and 4 a tenured position.

Maybe that had something to do with the fun factor being low ...

Anyway, out of that group of 10, only 3 of us didn't pursue a career in academia and 5 got a PhD and 4 a tenured position.

The PhDs and academicians, both male and female I have known in my life (some in the biblical sense some not) have been Jeckyl and Hydes. Seemingly quiet, reserved and intellectual in public and very wild when you get them alone or socially in small groups of four to six where we all knew each other very well.

Many of the best sex partners I have ever had have been highly educated people. That's not to say illiterates can't be a good fuck, maybe I just found bright people more interesting. The brain is a big sex organ.

They needed brains so you could brag how you "fucked their brains out." 😁

@user264 -

They needed brains so you could brag how you "fucked their brains out." 😁

So if @SwitchableSusie said -

That's not to say illiterates can't be a good fuck, maybe I just found bright people more interesting. The brain is a big sex organ.

Did she fuck them until they became - illiterates? 😉

@user264 -So if @SwitchableSusie said - Did she fuck them until they became - illiterates? 😉

No no no, you fuck their EYES out, not their brains out!

They become blind, not stupid! 😁 😁 😁

I always felt sorry for the blind. I'll have to rethink that. 🙄

@user264 - if @SwitchableSusie fucks their eyes out, I don't think they would be feeling sorry about that. 😉