Advice Please!

My slave (bedroom only) has asked me to give her a truly grueling experience. We've been in a master/slave relationship for two years and have a very good feel for each other, although we are both the first partners we've shared this lifestyle with, so still very new.

I need advice, because while I have some sadistic traits, she is a true masochist. Our last session involved two hours of tight bondage with flogging and paddling. Short durations of paper binder clamps on nipples and clit (with careful monitoring of blood flow). Longer periods with more traditional clover clamps and clothespins. Intense use of a Hitachi to bring multiple orgasms, and nipple suction pumps. The session left bruises and welts. She was in tears most of the time but confirmed she loved every moment of it.

She has asked me to do a 4 hour test with her at an even greater intensity. These are her only limits: no cuts or burns. No bruises below the elbows or knees or above the shoulders (for social and work reasons). No scat or piss.

She's interested in icy hot, hot wax, breathplay and nipple/clit binding (her breasts are too small to bind). As well as the more psychological aspects such as sensory deprivation and humiliation.

I'm seeking advice on these activities as well as suggestions for things we haven't thought of. Particularly as it pertains to safety. I've read many articles that suggest breath play is impossible to do safely, and so I hesitate to incorporate that into our session, although she wants to try.

Thanks in advance!

We have done some very severe stuff over the last 30 years, but there's no way in hell I can give advice to someone on how or what to do in a severe scene that I don't know anything about, who sounds very inexperienced, very young and who has been a member here for 14 hours having made ONE post.

Go on Amazon and buy some books on BDSM.

I highly suggest try all of these things one at a time and try some of them on yourself before administering to others. It will change your perspective a bit and give you a better idea on what you plan to dish out.

I highly suggest try all of these things one at a time and try some of them on yourself before administering to others. It will change your perspective a bit and give you a better idea on what you plan to dish out.

I highly suggest try all of these things one at a time and

try A L L of them on yourself before administering to others.

It will change your perspective a bit and give you a better idea on what you plan to dish out.

Part of the fun is experimenting and learning what she can take and also (just as important) what your comfortable giving.

If not into it as much don't just inflict more pain on her if she wants it but you are not happy to give.

Both parties need to be happy. Try things out as suggested by others, then plan the session based on what you learn.

Sometimes fantasies for the sub are not what they envision. don't do anything you feel uncomrftable with to her you would not do to yourself. I know there are things I have thought I wanted in the past but when it came to reality I could not do it. tread very carefully for both of you

I totally agree that breath play should be ruled out as I have had discussions with someone quite knowledgeable on the subject and people have died from it. As for the other things, one better know what they are doing and that requires many things to fall into place. You have to know your partner and how to read body language. You have to be comfortable doing it and yes Doms and Masters have limits and can say RED. When you play on those intense and edgy areas the potential for things going wrong increase. Years ago I learned beginners when they mess up it isn't too bad since they don't do anything serious, an experienced player doing more more intense and edgy stuff, when they mess up, it is a BIG mess. Communication is key, take the time to talk and get inside her head, maybe try some single experiments to see how it works out. Don't be afraid to say NO! In the community they used to talk about SSC meaning Safe, Sane and Consensual. Later on they were using RACK, Risk Aware Consensual Kink and I don't know if that has evolved yet to another one or not. Heed what others have said here already.

If she is interested in humiliation, and if she has experience or interest in anal play, I strongly suggest enemas and/or suppositories. Depending on her interests, the exposure / penetration / filling / expulsion can all be humiliating, and are also good prep for anal play.

I recommend a large dose of castor oil followed by a good, blistering spanking.

We use spankings, sometimes very hard spankings, on a regular basis in our household. And, we also use enemas, on occasion huge, hot, and long retained enemas, as well.

Castor oil, at upper end of the dosage the bottle recommends as a purgative dose, is a rather punishing experience (especially when spanked hard enough that hours later sitting is still uncomfortable!)

Thanks for adding the emphasis to my post Susie, much appreciated!

Thanks for adding the emphasis to my post Susie, much appreciated!

You're welcome!

I have said the same thing here for years.

Too many people put on their Dom or Domme hats and lose sight of what they are doing to the submissive who is trusting their body to them, not to mention that these usually inexperienced Doms and Dommes with big egos have no idea of what they are doing feels like or the injuries they can cause.