Has the movie '50 Shades of Grey' had any effect you?

Has the movie '50 Shades of Grey' had any effect on you? I'm a newbie, but feeling like a kid in a candystore here! So, I started wondering about 50 Shades - I see that it's helped get the word out around the water cooler. What about those of us that know (and happily embrace) that we're already hardwired to our various kinks?

Yeah, It showed the whole world what BDSM is not. Christian Grey hates women, and wants to hurt them. He is a true sadist, and there's not much room in the world for the likes of him. After watching/reading 50 Shades, no sane woman will try BDSM.

I've been able to get a few friends to watch and - gasp! - even admit they liked it (though of course not for the sex alone ... ha ha ha). Sure, I'm certain the way bdsm is presented in the movie is not what real practitioners actually do. But it's the same with historical movies too, there are always glaring shortcomings to point out and, depending on your character, take umbrage over - or hopefully not.

But overall I'd rather see movies like 50 Shades being produced and shown in mainstream theaters, than moralistic sob stories like we used to get in the 1950s or 60s where any kind of supposed 'moral deviance' always ended in heart-rending tragedy.

Fifty shades did not portray BDSM as being mutually enjoyable, nor did it address the fantasy element. It never makes the distinction between trying to injure someone, and having a good time. Every BDSM, and sexual advocacy group denounced it, and there was even notices on social media that this was NOT how BDSM is practiced. In general, it shed a very bad light on the whole community.

A movie that more realistically depicts S&M is "Secretary" with James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal.

First of all I am a HUGE James Spader fan and always have been since he was in 16 Candles and I continue to be with watching him in The Blacklist. The movie Secretary is one of my all time favorite movies and I could watch it over and over again. With all due respect to Doc, have I ever given thoughts to being spanked by James Spader? Hell yes I have, lol.

Now on to the topic at hand, "has the movie 50 Shades had any effect on me?" I can honestly say yes it has, and in a good way.

Maybe I am a person who sees the cup as half full, but I think the movies have done a lot in a positive manner for our community. I understand that not all BDSM relationships are as hard core as parts of these movies they can be and that is okay. That is the beauty of BDSM, it can be as soft to as hard as the participants have agreed on, and or implied. For some BDSM means pink fuzzy plastic handcuffs, but for others it means hanging from huge meat hooks and being beaten with bull whips until blood is drawn. To each their own, that's the beauty of BDSM.

The reason some of the BDSM groups denounced the movies is because they didn't want everyone who is vanilla but intrigued by something other than vanilla to be afraid and think that all BDSM was this extreme or always had to be. We know better, the vanillas don't.

I will say this, I have friends who are members/part owners of a well known dungeon in NY and they said that these movies did a lot for their business. These movies brought lots of the vanillas in the door looking to see what this new world is all about. That's huge!

I have said this before and I will say it again and again if I have to. Take a look at our history. 70 years ago blacks were still being made to sit on the back of our buses and were segregated. About 20 years ago we saw Ellen kiss another woman on prime time TV for the first time. The country was in shock. Her show got cancelled almost immediately. But after everyone settles down and gets used to the ideas of blacks being equal to whites, gays and lesbians being allowed to be who they are, the initial shocks disappear. My kids can't imagine a world where blacks are viewed differently than whites, or that it isn't okay to come out, that both things in their own times would have gotten them killed.

It's called desensitizing. After a bit people get used to seeing things and they get comfortable with some of the things that didn't seem natural to them a few years earlier. Now because of desensitizing blacks in this country are equal, gay men can walk down streets and not get shot, they can get married. Wouldn't it be nice some day for all of us to be as accepted? Not have to hide like most people here do? I personally don't, but I am who I am and don't really care what other think or say, but do you? Wouldn't it be nice not to have to hide anymore?

Mashie

I myself found the book better than the movie. 😃

Seeing you guys bringing up The Secretary! Haven't thought about that movie in years. I agree, enjoyed it much more than Shades. Became a fan of Maggie Gyllenhaal then and there

I agree Kid

The movies left out some really good and important background

Perhaps your message should be copied to Mr. Spader, Mashie. He should be happy to visit Ohio and make your shapely bare bottom really sore!

Nick

All I watched, or saw, was the trailers. Movie looked too dumb to watch.

However it doesn't matter if it was good or bad, or ridiculous. I do believe the movie, right IR wrong not withstanding brought bdsm to the general public. And many Vanillas were totally titillated, and now see bdsm in a different, positive light, which is a good thing.

Yes, Secretary was excellent.

I really loved both the movies and the books!

I have never seen the first one but the second one was so stupid and boring and poorly acted that I could hardly stay awake watching it.

I have never seen the first one but the second one was so stupid and boring and poorly acted that I could hardly stay awake watching it.

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I have heard this a few times before from members here.

First of all the producers decided to pick actors that had never been cast before (for the most part) the main ones anyway. They did so because they didn't want any stereotypes that were attached to actors that have been in other movies to play a part in the characters they wanted to portray. When you look at it from that point, being that it was the first real acting job for most of these actors, well they did a pretty damn good job in my opinion.

Secondly we have to keep in mind that this movie wasn't made for us but made for the housewives who are not happy with their lives and want something a little spicier than vanilla. We here watch these movies because it deals with kink and we expect the kink portion to take top billing in the movie but that's not what these movies are about. They are love stories with a hint of kink, not the other way around. We need to look at these movies as they were intended to be viewed, not in the way in which we think they should have been intended as. Again, there is a huge difference in that.

Mashie

Made me have a thing for grey silk ties ?

that's not what these movies are about. They are love stories with a hint of kink, not the other way around. We need to look at these movies as they were intended to be viewed, not in the way in which we think they should have been intended as.

That is how I got friends to watch it, by describing '50 Shades ...' as mainly a love story ... I suppose it made it sound more respectable that way ...

I agree that the second one was not as good as the first. The other thing about it is they were directed by different directors. One, the first, was more sexual in nature, while I think the second was more along the lines of keeping up with the story. I was disappointed in it, to be honest, but the first was pretty much up to my expectations. I really hope that they continue on with the story and don't leave me hanging.

I've read the books but have not seen the movies. Our local library has the first movie. I should check it out just to see how things went.

I'd rather tie up, hood and flog my husband for two hours instead of watching that movie.

That's a good idea susie but what do I do with the kids? Daughter will probably watch the movie, son . . . probably won't. They already give us guff about the "squeaky springs" they hear occasionally.

Tie them up and lock them in their rooms with loud music playing so they don't hear the squeaking!

There's not much you can do about squeaky springs other than get a new bed, and don't get a foam mattress, They aren't any fun to have sex on.

Lol, good suggestions susie, but can't lock the son in his bedroom because I took off his door. He refused to keep his room even slightly clean (he'd just shut the door so the mess couldn't be seen).

I'll just let the springs squeak and let them know sex can happen even when I'm "old" (their word, not mine). I keep reminding them that I hope they can have as much sex with their partners when they are my age.

Haven't watched or had any serious interest in it, so No, no effect on me. My kinks or fetishes are just delightful the way they are. I doubt I'd learn much if anything.

Eric

I was actually pretty disappointed with the amount of BDSM in the movies.

There were what, maybe 2 solid bondage scenes in each of the movies? They seemed more hype than anything else. I did not read the books, but had talked to people who did, they say the books had way better scenes in it that the movie.

I watched the first one with that said I thought the movie did just what it was suppose to do..... it’s a love story with a little kink added to it nothing more to me the movies never set out to depict a lifestyle it depicted the fantasy side of kinky bedroom sex and I think it served those that want just that

Don't know about the movie(s) but I have certainly gained a lot of interest from women wanting to chat during an online poker game.

The cover photo of the first book had a print of a tie with a distinctive pattern. I play an on-line game of Hold 'Em Poker and use that tie as my avatar. When I was using an earlier avatar, I seldom got "paged" by other players to chat. Once I started using the tie from "50 Shades..." I could hardly get through an evening of poker play without having one or more women wanting to chat...almost always about domination/submission, so yes, I have certainly benefited from the book in finding women who want to discuss/learn about D/s.

When asking each woman why they wanted to chat with me, most loved the book(s) and wanted to gather information from a real Dominant male. It seems to me that there was a lot of hidden interest in D/s that was opened and put out in the public based on the book(s). I watched one of the movies in the series and have to say it was so tame that I quickly lost interest and went on to watch something else.

Loved the books. Fell in love with Christian Grey immediately. Read all the series, and saw the first movie, but in agreement, the second one was boring. Did not change what i already knew to be true regarding bdsm which i do enjoy. But the author of the books was on target how he explained in detail what was going on.

To be very honest, I could not make it halfway thru the first book. So I hardy think I would waste my time going to the movies.

I read all the time, I only read the first book because rumor had it someone was going to ban it. Waste of time, first I could buy a dirtier book at the local Walmart, the writing was terrible, and it was abuse, not BDSM! Broken love story, with abuse, nothing more.

It did breath new life into the BDSM lifestyle, more people were talking about it, you could even buy cheap equipment at the mall of all places. Anyway colossal waste of $ and time. Never even entertained the thought to watch the movie. ?

Oh and also, BDSM especially the Dom is about control period. I find a Dominants control about the sexiest thing about them, Christian in the book was way out of control. Way out!

I find it quite sad that most of mainstream society based any understanding of BDSM and Dom/sub dynamic they might have on 50 Shades of Grey. It is a story with a one sided, one dimensional view of a intricate relationship concept so diverse and nuanced and it misses to portray how deeply fulfilling BDSM can be when done right. Personally I do not relate to any part of these two fictional characters who now stand as representatives for real life BDSM people.