Parental Spanking into later Years

Last time mom spanked me was probably age twelve, and last time dad did the same was probably age fourteen.

I'm new here , and just exploring. Seems like what this thread is trying to face up is the consent question. Yes, you can argue that a parent striking an adult child on the backside is assault. But have you considered that there may be consent, either express or implied.

I am a mother of 2 adult daughters. I once paddled my oldest when she was 20, home from college for the summer, and had gone to a pool party where she not only illegally drank alcohol, but drove home afterwards.

When I confronted her, she realized she behaved very wrong and irresponsibly and felt quite ashamed of herself.

When I told her what I would have done if she had done such a thing when in high school, she replied that maybe I ought to do it now.

So, I gave her a good dose of my paddle over her thong bikini(which I also was upset over) right on her nearly naked bottom, no protection at all.Sitting down for the next two or three days was an uncomfortable, painful task for her.

Anyhow she bore no resentment and occasionally mentions the incident still. I believe she feels fortunate to have a mother who cared enough to give this harsh but fair discipline.

I've heard others say a child never "gets too big for Mama to spank". Would seem to be true.

I am a mother of 2 adult daughters. I once paddled my oldest when she was 20, home from college for the summer, and had gone to a pool party where she not only illegally drank alcohol, but drove home afterwards.

When I confronted her, she realized she behaved very wrong and irresponsibly and felt quite ashamed of herself.

When I told her what I would have done if she had done such a thing when in high school, she replied that maybe I ought to do it now.

So, I gave her a good dose of my paddle over her thong bikini(which I also was upset over) right on her nearly naked bottom, no protection at all.Sitting down for the next two or three days was an uncomfortable, painful task for her.

Anyhow she bore no resentment and occasionally mentions the incident still. I believe she feels fortunate to have a mother who cared enough to give this harsh but fair discipline.

I've heard others say a child never "gets too big for Mama to spank". Would seem to be true.

That was implied consent, actually more than implied as she told you to actually do it. . What would you have done if she said she was an adult now and refused. I'm curious as to whether or not you have been spanked as an adult. I'm not saying that what you did was in any way a bad thing but in a lot of instances it is not going to work and cause a lifetime of resentment or worse.

She responded to my comment about what I would have done if she had been younger. So she actually suggested she be punished. I did not threaten her ,and I really don't think I would have tried to forcibly restrain and spank her. But there would have been a very tense atmosphere around the house if we had both just walked away from it. She would have lost of my trust and confidence in her ability to behave responsibly. As it was, the air was cleared by what happened.

As for your question about being spanked as an adult, the answer is yes. I know what its like on both ends of the paddle.

I got spanked at home until age 17, and then twice at age 18 and 19 by a boss at the part time job I had at college (very intense and unusual experiences but not for right now).... But when I was 14 and staying over at my friend's house for a weekend his older brother who was 20 years old got in really big trouble and the cops brought him home and his father spanked him in front of me and my friend. It was extremely severe, and definitely he hadn't been spanked in a few years before that

As it was, the air was cleared by what happened.

From this I conclude that your daughter was already in agreement with the notion that the application of physical violence/punishment is an appropriate manner of approaching familial and personal problem behavior.

My wife was beaten by her parents as a matter of course and she told me often enough, and I certainly believed her, that laying a hand on her or spanking children would mean the end of our relationship. No discussion. She'd been hit too often and had never seen the propriety of hitting/spanking children.

Now, luckily, we were on the same page with this. My mother never hit or spanked me nor permitted my father to do so. My philosophy as well as hers.

But just saying. Doing this in my household would not have cleared the air, but have poisoned and ruined everything.

@MomJoanne said a few posts below: "Seems like what this thread is trying to face up is the consent question." and I agree.

My wife, who for various reasons not needed to go into here was the main spanker in our family, has spanked daughters and one son as older teens and even as young adults. This was never in anger, or happened without a lot of thought and discussion. It was also quite rare. When it did happen it wasn't that she suggested a spanking, or that they did. I guess one must have mentioned the 's' word first, but it was more that it came to the top of the pile, after sometimes tearful discussions and hugs on issues had been thoroughly gone through, wrung out if you will.

These late life spankings, if that is a reasonable term for them, might result from some terrible infraction such as drinking and driving, (never actually an issue, just an example) mostly though it was more on going attitude, yelling at someone in the family, acting out, not being adult on an ongoing and increasingly intolerable basis. I should also mention my wife's level of tolerance for such is very low and the family is well aware of this and accepts her benchmarks as strict, but fair.

Strict, fair, discussion not anger or lecturing and acceptance (consent) are all critical to this sort of punishment being right for some people and likely a very, very small percentage of people.

But there would have been a very tense atmosphere around the house if we had both just walked away from it. She would have lost of my trust and confidence in her ability to behave responsibly. As it was, the air was cleared by what happened.

You sound like a great mother. Obviously, your daughter was ashamed of herself, and needed her conscience cleared. So it wasn't that she didn't know any better because you had failed to teach her, it was that she DID know better but made a poor decision. And she was able to own up to it, and accept she needed to be punished.

The flip side of this, is if she would have walked away, she would have had the lingering guilt and shame. There needed to be a restoration of the relationship, and the spanking brought that about. I never got spanked as an adult, but did get my butt swatted by my mom a couple of times as an adult during arguments. It was much less about teaching me right from wrong and much more about re-establishing who was the parent and who was the child, and letting me know I had crossed the line. And I may have been angered in the moment, but I always backed off immediately, and it usually deescalated things.

Yes this still happens to me as a condition of living at home rent free. I don't know anyone else my age getting it and it's hard to talk about in real life anyway.

The flip side of this, is if she would have walked away, she would have had the lingering guilt and shame. There needed to be a restoration of the relationship, and the spanking brought that about. .

You sound like a great mother. Obviously, your daughter was ashamed of herself, and needed her conscience cleared.

As if there are no alternatives between ignoring something and physical punishment. As if the only kind of punishment imaginable is hitting/wacking someone.

That is deplorable. Hitting/spanking is not even the way to teach animals/pets proper behavior. Any animal or person brought up in this manner is simply waiting for a chance at pay-back. Not necessarily at the original perpetrator - who would at least have earned payback with double interest - but usually at someone else who is innocent, usually children.

There are other ways of clearing one's conscience. An admittance of wrongdoing or fault, to a person one on one or in public, is usually a way that has been codified into social and religious ritual/behavior over the millennia. And which causes far less physical violence.

I am trying to imagine what I would think if I had ever heard of friends actually physically punishing their children (or spouses for that matter). I am certain it would completely change the way I see them, and not for the better. I think that ultimately it would result in my not being willing to see them any more, from pure repugnance.

It's very common in our family to give spankings. Age doesn't matter. I visted my parents and would not eat something. My mom said you know what that means. After dinner she said go to your old room. Be right there. My old room was still the same. She came in afterwards and sit on the bed. Come here she said pulled down my pants and layed me over one leg and the bed. She would spank me at least 50 times with here hand of course i was crying with halfway. Afterwards i would lay on the bed until crying was over. Our house our rules she said when she left.

But when we all visited our grandparents once. I was in the livingroom and i could here crying coming from a room. I went looking but didnt here it again. When my dad came in his eyes where red. Hmm very common in our family i think.

It's very common in our family to give spankings. Age doesn't matter. I visted my parents and would not eat something. My mom said you know what that means. After dinner she said go to your old room. Be right there. My old room was still the same. She came in afterwards and sit on the bed.

I just cannot consider that normal behavior, not on your parent's part and not on yours for submitting to it.

Of course you apparently do submit, so I am going to surmise that you submit and your parents initiate their punishment behavior for reasons completely unrelated to not eating your vegetables or whatever. That would be an unreasonable explanation. Grown-up people do not have to explain, defend or justify their culinary preferences. That is a prerogative that comes with living on your own.

So, I am going to surmise there are other reasons you may not wish to reveal or may not even be aware of.

Eigenlijk heel vreemd gedrag hoor. Ik heb nog nooit zoiets gehoord van Belgische vrienden. Dat er gezaagd wordt over iets eten of niet, dat tot daar aan toe. Maar straffen? Kom nou ...

It's very common in our family to give spankings. Age doesn't matter. I visted my parents and would not eat something. My mom said you know what that means. After dinner she said go to your old room.

Sounds more like a pretext for a spanking fetish among family members. Purposely not eating something knowing it will trigger a spanking is a sneaky way of asking for it.

Our house our rules she said when she left.

I'm guessing the rules were set up to justify the spanking fetish. I think it's an odd within an adult family - but LOTS of people like to give/recieve spankings. No real harm done.

50 barehanded smacks is not much to induce crying (after only 25?). Check out the "Crying" thread. Couple of Zity girls take pretty hard spankings with much more than a bare hand and don't even come close to crying.

Gwhap, you said:

"50 barehanded smacks is not much to induce crying (after only 25?). Check out the "Crying" thread. Couple of Zity girls take pretty hard spankings with much more than a bare hand and don't even come close to crying."

At a certain age, which would be more of a mental aging than a years one, I don't think crying when being spanked is caused by the pain. Rather the pain facilitates the mind regressing and crying, sobbing, is the spankee letting go, releasing. When prisoners were whipped here, or are today in other countries, I think shouts, screams, shrieks, that sort of thing is the reaction, not tears.

So, when paul3834 talks of 50 spanks and crying half way through I think it is lying over his mom's lap, bare bottom up and being spanked that is the trigger which takes him back in time and lets him loose the floodgates of emotions, tears, and stress. I'd be interested to hear again from paul3834 to say if he feels calmer, more stress free after a spanking and crying is a key part of this.

Being that its New year's Eve I am reminded of the New year's Eve when I was 18 and still living at home. I had plans that night to go with friends to the local first night festivities. before I left to go with my friends my mom said to me please do not drive if you have anything to drink. just call me I will come and pick up you and your friends. I of course was like we are not going to be drinking none of us are 21. fast forward to about 2 a.m. New year's morning and I staggered in the door, manage to knock over an end table that had a lamp and a vase. and I just left them there because I apparently didn't realize what I had done at the time. about 10 a.m. my mother comes into my room while I have the mother of all hangovers wanting to know what happened to the lamp and vase. well it took her about 30 seconds once I started to wake up a little bit to put together what had happened and when I tell you she was angry with me, that's probably an understatement. she stormed out of my room and told me to get up and take a shower and then to come to the kitchen for some breakfast and so we could talk about the previous night. so while I was having some breakfast she lit into me about the drinking and the driving and how she told me that it was okay but all I had to do was call and how could I be so stupid, etc etc etc. then she sent me to the corner in the living room to think about everything she had said and I had done. about 90 minutes later she came back and I swear she had me over her knee for hours but in reality was probably more like a few minutes. she lit my ass on fire with her hand and hairbrush. then sent me back to the corner for almost another 2 hours. it was definitely one of the worst spankings I ever got.

I thought fetishes were things you did for sex?

"Fetishism is the emic attribution of inherent value or powers to an object", wikipedia says.

I, for one, have a fetish for foie gras with Dom Perignon.

Can do it for sex as well under the right circumstances, but not necessarily.

Man I was an awful student my senior year of HS. I was going through some old stuff and came across old report cards. Senior year 2nd Quarter I had 4 D's 1C and an A+ in gym class. I swear I spent more time standing up that year than I did sitting down.

I somewhat find it odd for so many on here to think that parent or older authority figure to spank someone that is living with them. Is there some magical age that a child becomes an adult (outside the law is at 18 you are considered an legal adult) but honestly how many 18 years back when I turned 18 or today is really a fully grown mature adult. Especially if that 18 to 22 year is old is living at home or with an older adult, depending on them financially for shelter, food and still needing advice on life. Now at 18 and on that person can legally say “you are not going to spank me” then at that point they may have to move out on their own but if they don’t move out then if all of the circumstances I described above then they need to take the spanking if nothing else out of respect for the person that is taking care of them and putting a roof over their head.

In fact, just look at how times have changed and age limits have moved up. When I was in school there were no age limit on smoking. Anyone at any age could buy cigarettes. My school had a “smoking tree” in the front of the school for students to smoke or a “smoking ramp” area for students to smoke. Then after I graduated they passed the law to 18 and now it is 21. My state at this point is thinking about changing the age of a full legal adult to 21, between 18-20 theu wouldn’t be considered a minor anymore but still not have full rights as an adult.

That’s my thought on it.

I don’t know what age spanking children is inappropriate or not effective. For some parents it’s never spank, for some relatively young, for some maybe into early teens. Not my call on how to run a household but we never spanked - except once. But for someone over 18 and into their 20s to get spanked by a parent, I’d guess either the parent or spankee or both are getting off on it. Spanking as adults is a fine fetish, just strange between an adult and their parent.

Yes, I was spanked at home past 18 and I think it's probably more common than many would think. In the course of my life I've come across what most would perceive to be unusual situations at best, so I'm not really surprised by odd dynamics.

It's not something I'd recommend, obviously, as there are so many complications to something like that. But I can understand how or why it happens.

40, male, UK.

they need to take the spanking if nothing else out of respect for the person that is taking care of them and putting a roof over their head.

How can anyone respect an adult spanking another adult? For fun, sure, whatever, that is in a totally different category. But someone who does it out of feelings of authority? Who perhaps can't reconcile no longer being an absolute authority figure with the power to hit and hurt someone?

That does not sound healthy at all, not one little bit. If they have a thing about the trope of 'putting a roof over someone's head' then they should just say to leave. Not to regress to lording it over someone in a symbolically parent-infant manner.

But for someone over 18 and into their 20s to get spanked by a parent, I’d guess either the parent or spankee or both are getting off on it. Spanking as adults is a fine fetish, just strange between an adult and their parent.

That is indeed the only rational sounding explanation I can accept. They are both getting off on it, explicitly or implicitly. Overtly sexual or subliminally.

I never had a spanking from my parents into later years. I do have a fantasy that my parents ordered me to strip my clothes off and they take turns spanking,fingering and playing with my bottom.

I was spanked by my mom until I was 22. She used the whole my house my rules thing. I was in denial about it at the time but once I had moved out and got some distance from it I was able to admit to myself that part of me liked it. If my memories are right I think she probably did too. So yeah, years of confusion came from all that. Thankfully I’m over it now and can move along with life.

I got it off my dad until age 16, and lots of threats even after that.

I’m 18 now and still get the belt from my aunt and uncle I have lived with since I was 15 and I think it’s embarrassing but never tell any of my friend. The only people that know like my mom and grandparents totally support my uncle doing this. The one person that knows thats not family is my bff and he hates my aunt and uncle but has never told anyone.

My mom resumed when I moved back in with her. It’s consensual though.

I totally agree with SwitchableSusie, going to the police is about the WORST possible idea.

I don’t really see anything wrong with it. If, as in many families, it’s perfectly fine to spank until 15, 16, 17,, what is the occasional spanking at 18, 19, 20, especially if they are still living at home with the parents? While I have not been spanked by a parent for a long time, I still am respectful of my dad, and know when to back off, when he puts a little bass in his voice. Even though we feel grown up, we still respond to that stuff even as adults.

what is the occasional spanking at 18, 19, 20, especially if they are still living at home with the parents?

When 18 and older it is a case of an adult assaulting another adult, as in the charge of 'assault and battery' ...

Perhaps the offspring may endure it, but if not, it becomes a whole different case of legal worms.

All good and well when spanking is a game among consenting adults, but when not a game amongst adults, it is altogether different. Consider that even in the Armed Forces anyone of a higher rank, especially an officer hitting a lower rank is considered a very serious charge.

My last spanking from my Mom occurred when I was 16; my last one from my Dad when I was 17! My Aunt carried on spanking me well into my early 30s; but these, unlike when I was a kid, were consenual! In reality, even the last ones I got from her when I was 17 and 18 were semi-consensual! Aunt Rose was a spanko; and once she cottoned on to the fact that I did not want her spankings to stop that was it! LOL Even when I started dating and actually got married our spanking sessions continued! My wife, we both spanked and still do spank each other, was very happy with the arrangement! She would often watch me getting spanked; taking some tips from Aunt Rose who was the consummate spanker! She and Aunt Rose would spank each other, as well! And I got my own back on my Aunt for all those spankings she gave me as a kid - AND THERE WERE SOME REAL BUTT BLISTERINGS AMONGST THEM, LET ME TELL YOU - tanning her hide 'black and blue', on occasion! LOL Great memories!