Afraid to do an IN PERSON PLAY exam

I was intensely nervous about doing my first in-person exam. The person in the patient role has to place a lot of trust in the person in the doctor role because they have to hand over a fair bit of control of their body--and the imagination can quickly start coming up with lots of ways in which a role play like this can go wrong. (And when meeting in person for the first time, both the doctor and the patient have to wonder if the person they're meeting matches up with who they thought they were getting after communicating online. It's unnerving in both directions.)

To echo what several other commenters have said: do your due diligence before meeting, however that looks for you.

Speaking for myself, my first experience was great because the doc and I exchanged several emails and, based on what we were asking/saying, it was apparent to me that we were both trying to do what we could up front to make sure we'd be a good fit. We did a phone call before the day of the exam and then on the day of the exam. And before getting into the play element, we hung out in public to shoot the breeze and get a better sense of one another. In many ways, it still felt like it went really fast and I was still really nervous because I had never tried kinkier forms of sexual play before. But the thoroughness, thought, and consideration he put into his communications combined with the total lack of pressure to meet up felt like a reasonable risk to take--and I'm so glad I took it!

I am definitely in the same boat too. Can't help to have the same feelings about this. Thank you all for the many great suggestions and I think it helps me when I think of this thought. Some good stuff here.

I have found that the fear of meeting in person is very real and understandable for many. Sometimes the fantasy can be stronger than the actual reality of meeting . I think we all agree it's all about understanding each other's desires, expectations, and limits. This can only really be achieved with open and honest (Non roleplaying ) exchanges, although it can be fun to explore using roleplay exchanges on line, reality has to take precedence. In my view it is absolutely essential you speak in person initially and have a face to face chat before committing to a play med. As a play doc I still get nervous about meeting new acquaintances, the trust has to go both ways and be 100%. of course.

For those in doubt, trust me, there are some great fellow enthusiast here in the UK and Zity can be a great place to chat an meet. Covid-19 restrictions permitting of course…..

Good to know there are playdocs here in the UK, but why can i not find the examinations i crave?

The most important thing for me is that I and the person whom I'm meeting both feel comfortable. Both parties should emphasize a respect for the other's boundaries every step of the way: from just chatting, to exchanging photos, to arranging a neutral space to meet, to deciding when and if they wish to play together. I've found that when approaching others and being approached myself, if I treat the other person like a human being, have patience, and stress that safety and comfort is most important, everyone feels more comfortable progressing to real-life play.

I met a RN who wanted to play doctor-patient in person and also hotwife. After talking online and also on gmail/phone we decided to meet.. I had booked a hotel room with few restaurant-bars under same roof. This way, we did not have to worry about driving after drinks and also give privacy with

Our first meet was for dinner at the restaurant and when she felt comfortable we had a drink. She texted the room number to her husband and reconfirmed with a text when we entered the room.

Talking online and on phone ahead, knowing the likes/dislikes/limits and what plays both were into helped. I never crossed the limits. First meet was for few hours. After few times, we did meet for overnight too.

For discretion, we always met at a good hotel in a different town. (To avoid running into known faces at restaurant).

With my experience , often talking on here and phone helps understand the person better. Also meeting in a very public place gives an option to say ‘No’.

That being said, its always best to take all precautions what makes you feel safe.

Meeting up for your VERY first play exam is always nerve wrecking. I remember walking around a trail nearby my Somme’s play space for a good hour, wearing headphone on, no music - just the silence, and get my head together. I can hear my heart beating so fast inside my ear - it was nuts!! I almost cancelled my appointment, but glad I didn’t because that first appointment open doors to countless experience & fantastic people/community.

Thankfully, this hasn't prevented me from consulting.

I'm on the other side of the line as a play doctor.

I put myself in the head of the patient and it tells me how I should act and what I should say to reducer the fear and cancel part of the anxiety. The remaining part is only the one existing when you consult any doctor 😉

I perfectly understand the growing anxiety and it's totally legit. The doctor's role is to reassure, accompany , say nice things, explain the full assessment and what exactly will be done. Only after all this you will start getting the patient's trust.

Online conversations can take months until you can even expect the first meeting and I usually propose a coffee in a public place. Some patients prefer to come with a friend and I'm totally fine with that for the initial exam.

Some online patients are more comfortable with medical fetish or the role play and come directly for a full head-to-toe in my office just after a first message.

For girls I meet in real life, it can still takes a lot of meetings and talking before they do accept to step in my office.

One trust is acquired, it becomes a standard adult medical role play between consenting people (sex is totally excluded in my medical office) and I have never had any issues for neither parties in whatsoever 🙏🏻

I have been examining women patients for more than 20 years now and I can only have fun each time with every new or returning patient !

Doctor MG 🩺

Online conversations can take months until you can even expect the first meeting and I usually propose a coffee in a public place. Some patients prefer to come with a friend .

I think this is a very sensible idea for any first time meetings. Whether as medfet or any other kind of kinky meet up.

There are a number of advice threads on this site regarding women's safety when meeting a male play doctor in real life for the first time. I started this one myself back in 2008…

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;topic=14658

Here's another safety thread I was involved in from 2011…

https://en.zity.biz/index.php?mx=forum;ox=display;topic=38866

But as others have said you need to have lots of email and phone contact before contemplating a real life meeting, get to know the person as best you can and read between the lines. If the play doc is a member of Zity then check out his history, his previous posts, get the feel for what type of person he is. But my main advice would be to get a reference or two from other the women he has examined in real life. If he says he's an experienced play doctor then he will be able to supply genuine references, if he can't or won't then he is most probably not being completely honest…

In my own experience women seem to know that I'm genuine and safe, I guess it is feminine intuition…But at the end of the day it is your decision, your choice. Please be careful and play safe…

Dr Philip - The UK Play Doctor.

Words of encouragement:

We only have one life to live, with which to enjoy our bodies. And that life will be over before you know it.

In my own experience women seem to know that I'm genuine and safe, I guess it is feminine intuition…But at the end of the day it is your decision, your choice. Please be careful and play safe….

The key is to take as much time as you need to get to know the other person. There is no magic number. It might take months. Talk on the phone, meet them the first time in a public place. Make sure someone knows where you are going and who you are meeting. You should know everything about them before you ever meet. Safety is paramount and talk beforehand about what you expect and use a safeword. It can be done and be the most fun you ever had with your clothes off!

I have given many intimate exams to women, and I always offered everything I could think of to ease their apprehension. I am also retired law enforcement and understand, perhaps better than the potential patient does, what could go wrong. Being examined is no different than a sub going to meet a Dom for the first time. You are vulnerable walking down the street, going to a hotel or a stranger's home for the first time and agreeing to take all your clothes off and lie down………

Things I have offered:

Feel free to bring a girl/boy friend with you.

Meet ahead of time in public as often as needed to become comfortable with me.

Would you like a photo of my driver's license, and a corresponding pic of me?

And always trust your instincts.

I think you know when you have met the right doctor, so whilst some patients have some apprehension that is quite natural, the next step and that apprehension is part of the enjoyment of an exam.

"Hi, I'm Dr Norman Bates and I'm here to kill- no, examine- you! No, thanks!

"Hi, I'm Dr Norman Bates and I'm here to kill- no, examine- you! No, thanks!

But my mother says I should. Or shouldn’t? I’m so confused. 😀

Hi, what exactly is your concern. I have had a few role play examinations and felt the same - but all was fine and in once case excellent. If you don't follow through, you're never going to know what might have occurred / experienced.

Read the news. It’s the 1 or 2% that queer the safety of it. Be very careful if you go there, take precautions and be safe. You probably will be lucoy, but some aren’t.

I'm always looking for a correspondence medical exam for young Ken, for what that's worth. (Young Ken is 18-19yo, dark-haired, slender figure.)

Aside to Appointment Needed who posted here earlier (message #48 ). Thanks for your personal message today. Unfortunately, my reply was blocked. Care to unblock me?!

I encourage the original poster, ptfordoc, and others to keep persisting, though!

- Ken

Thankfully, I have real people in my life who share my, “Bottoms Up!”, interests. Years ago, I met two other women on Facebook, but I am too scared to try it again!

I was very nervous the first time I met someone for a role play exam. At one point, after I was stripped naked he had me turn around and bend over (to check my spine) and I thought “okay here's where he hits me on the head with a hammer!" Thankfully, he didn't and I was a bit looser after that and had an amazing experience.

I've since met up with a few docs and I've had noting but positive experiences.

Here are a few precautions I took:

I told someone (Mashie?) here what I was doing and who I was meeting. She was gracious to be my “check-in person" before and after.

I always leave a note buried in my underwear drawer at home telling my wife where I really was during a play exam. She has no idea I do this. (I always give another reason for being out of the house.) I know it won't help me in real time, but if something terrible did ever happen, I figure someone (wife, police) would eventually find the note with my log in/password here so they could read all the emails and get some info on which hotel I was at, who I met, etc.

The one time I met someone when I was out of town, I left a similar note hidden in my car. I figured the cops would eventually find it and have some useful information.

I'm not real big on the “meet for coffee” thing. I don't think a polished serial killer or kidnapper is going to reveal anything over coffee. He's going to be all charming and smooth and say whatever is necessary to put you at ease anyway. I'm not saying don't do it, but it isn't my thing.

I can’t imagine I would meet in person to explore my interests unless I had established a relationship (I.e. friendship) before hand. The sort of intimacy that happens in this type of play requires trust and understanding boundaries on both sides, In my opinion. With the right person though, it could be quite fun….

I‘ve had a few play dates with people. We would chat & talk on the phone for a while before meeting. I also tell my family & coworkers where I’m going in case I’m never heard from again 🤔

Here are a few precautions I took:

I always leave a note buried in my underwear drawer at home telling my wife where I really was during a play exam.

The one time I met someone when I was out of town, I left a similar note hidden in my car. I figured the cops would eventually find it and have some useful information.

I'm not real big on the “meet for coffee” thing. I don't think a polished serial killer or kidnapper is going to reveal anything over coffee. He's going to be all charming and smooth and say whatever is necessary to put you at ease anyway. I'm not saying don't do it, but it isn't my thing.

With all the thinking about dire outcomes and precautions, you ought to write a crime novel set around play-exams … 😃.

I remember a time in fiction writing prior to the ‘discovery’ of serial killers. They do seem to have captured the imagination, which makes people forget that if anyone is ever going to do you harm, chances are it will overwhelmingly be someone from family or acquaintances, say for instance a wife finding the precautionary note forgotten in the underwear that comes to light on washing day … ha ha.

With all the thinking about dire outcomes and precautions, you ought to write a crime novel set around play-exams … 😃.

I remember a time in fiction writing prior to the ‘discovery’ of serial killers. They do seem to have captured the imagination, which makes people forget that if anyone is ever going to do you harm, chances are it will overwhelmingly be someone from family or acquaintances, say for instance a wife finding the precautionary note forgotten in the underwear that comes to light on washing day … ha ha.

I would love to try my hand at writing. Not sure I'm good enough to develop characters for a great crime novel, but I could write better erotica than most that I've read.

And I always make a beeline for the underwear drawer when I get back from an exam. Got to get rid of that letter ASAP!

It's all about the experience, whether a good or bad one i trust we're all here for that , for the real thing.

Then again we've found out over the years that most are just looking for online-exams sexting and Cybering. I trust we're all better than that. And crave real and in person exams. So you just go for it K.C.

I agree with many of the folks above. As an experience play doc, I'd make a few suggestions.

I'm hyper-focused on being discrete, but also understand the need for both the patient and the doctor to feel good about it, before proceeding.

If you would like to chat through anything, feel free to reach out - always happy to help patients get comfortable with their first visit (and not necessarily with me).

There are plenty of precautions you can take as other have already mentioned. For my, my biggest concern is always verifying that the person I’m talking to is who they say they are; I’m not too keen on being “catfished”. However, as another member already mentioned, I’d you truly have run into someone intent on doing you harm, no amount of vetting can reveal that outside of locating an actual criminal record. People are smooth and charming and going on a vanilla meet-up will not change anything. I’ve met several doctors for exams and always make sure to tell one of my fetish friends where I’m going. It is also a good idea to test the waters with the word “NO”. Anyone who really respects your boundaries will not be bothered by is, no matter how small the issue is. Saying no should always be met with compliance to your request.

The idea of it is extremely exciting but I know I could never get the courage and I feel like it would be betraying my husband.

Any playgroups in the UK?