What does your doctor say just before and during your rectal exam?

How does your doctor instruct you that the rectal exam is next and what he or she wants you to do? And what does your doctor say during the rectal and immediately after finishing the exam?

She always says,"well it is time for the part most of us seem to hate. It will be over in a minute. Just try and relax". Then I feel it. Aftar she says,"all done".She pulls the gloves off and starts to help me sit up on the exam table while removing my feet from the stiruups.

Interesting question. Over the years, I've had my various doctors/NPs/PAs announce the rectal and prostate exam in a variety of ways. I'd have to put them into three different categories:

The first category of provider is the one that is very explicit and detailed with their instructions. As they're finishing up with my genital and hernia exam, they say something like "alright, I need to check your prostate now", or "I just have to do a quick rectal exam and then we'll be all done". Then they proceed to give me detailed instructions like "go ahead, turn around and bend over the exam table", or "rest your upper body on the table", or "face the table and stand on the step", or "please climb up and get on your hands and knees for me". Usually, my underwear is already either removed completely or pulled down to my knees for the genital exam, so they don't usually have to instruct me to undress further. Once I'm in position, they might say "turn your feet slightly inward", or "rest your arms in front of you", or "rest your head on the table".

The second category of provider is less formal and not as explicit. This is usually the case for a provider that I've already seen numerous times and we are already familiar with each other. They'll say something like "alright, time to check your prostate", or "let's check your backside now", or "just one more thing and then we'll be done". And they'll follow that up with something like "go ahead and get into position", or even "get into whatever position you like". My current female internist says this since she knows that I prefer to be on the table on my hands and knees. I've told her in the past that it's the most comfortable position for me, and she's absolutely fine with that since she said that it allows her to more easily reach my prostate. The key point is that this kind of provider announces that part of the exam so you can get into position, but assumes that you have had the exam done enough that you don't need detailed instructions.

The final category of provider hints at the exam without telling you anything. It's almost as if they are embarrassed to be asking you to get into position for the exam, and even more embarrassed to be performing it. They'll start off by saying apologetically "I'm sorry, but I have to perform a prostate exam now" (they don't usually use the word "rectal" since that seems to embarrass them further). Then they'll just stand there without giving me any more instructions. They'll just assume that I know what they want me to do (which I do). Sometimes as they pull on exam gloves or get out a tube of lubricant, I'll just automatically get into position for them. But other times, I just wait for them to give me additional instructions, just for the fun of it! After 30 seconds or so of no movement from me, they'll eventually say something like "have you had a prostate exam before", or "do you have any questions before I check your prostate". Even worse, sometimes they'll say "you can go ahead and get ready" without actually telling me how they want me to get ready (which I think is really rude).

Regardless of how we get to that point, most providers don't say an awful lot during the actual exam. Most will usually warn me with "you'll feel some pressure", or "this will feel cold", or "just relax this won't take long". If they're unusually chatty that day, they might give me a blow-by-blow account of exactly what they're doing ("I'm feeling the sides of your rectum now", "I'm pressing on your prostate now").

Afterward, it's usually "alright, that's it, everything is fine", or "there, that wasn't too bad", or "all done, here are some tissues for you to clean up", or "you can get dressed".

Last week, "I'm going to have to do a rectal (while pulling on the gloves) roll on your side for me". He dove right in quick and said "prostate is fine" then pulled out just as quickly.

I liked this doctor's approach, he was direct and on my side is better than standing for me. He also didn't use a monster glop of lubricant so there was no mess to deal with.

My female doctor says " Ok, now go ahead and lean over the table and we'll do your rectal exam" During it's usually along the lines of "Now bear down for me" "Good, everything feels fine"

Good question. I've never had a rectal exam so I can't say for myself, but I can write what a former girlfriend told me about her first gyn exam when she was 18. The doctor just finished the bi-manual exam and was removing his gloves when he told her, "Just one more thing to do before we're all done. Unfortunately, it's also most women's least favorite... The rectal exam." As he was putting on a new pair of gloves and moving back into position to stand between her legs he tells her, "The more you relax the easier this will be for both of us." Afterwards was just, "OK, all done. You can get dressed now."

Like many, my rectal exam is the last part of the exam and is right after the genital exam. I'm already standing at the end of the exam table for the genital exam. My doctor asks me to turn around - something to the effect of "ok, if you'll please turn around and bend over the exam table, we'll finish up with the prostate exam". He's never given very much else in the way of instructions other than how I'm positioning my feet.

Since rectal exams are common in physicals of males and females, it would be great if more females commented on this topic.

As for me, my experiences with what doctors instruct and say to me before and during a rectal have varied a lot. My first rectal exam was during my first adult physical in my 20s. Before that time, my exams had ended with my briefs down for a hernia exam. But this time, the doctor told me that he was going to examine my rectum. He didn't say anything about my prostate, although I don't think that I had heard of a rectal exam or a prostate exam before then anyway. I probably didn't even know what a prostate was or that I had one in my 20s.

Anyway, I ended up bent over the exam table and cannot remember what the doctor said other than he was going to examine my rectum. He said nothing during the exam itself. Not even that it might feel uncomfortable or cold or anything like that. He really shoved his finger in hard and I remember gasping. He told me to breathe through my mouth which was probably just to distract me. After he was done, I remember getting back up on the exam table and sitting there feeling shocked at what had just happened.

Since then, I have had several of these exams with different doctors. If I am in my underwear only, some doctors have told me to "drop your shorts" or "drop my underpants to your ankles" and then first did a hernia check and testicle exam. Then some doctors have told me to bend over the exam table and lay my chest on it. Some say that they need to do a prostate exam. But other doctors haven't said what they were planning to do. I guess that they assume that I know what is coming next. I was a little too quick with one doctor in pulling my briefs up after the hernia exam and he was quick to say, "Not so fast. Drop your shorts, bend over and put your elbows on the table. I need to do a rectal on you." I have had maybe only one doctor tell me during the initial interview before the physical started that he would be checking my prostate during the exam.

Like others who have written about their exams before, I have usually been in just my underpants for my physicals most of the time. I have been in a gown only a few times and then almost always with nothing on underneath it. Which makes the rectal exam a little different than where I have to drop my briefs. On those times, I have usually been standing and have already raised the front of the gown up so that doctor can check my testicles and for an hernia. Then he tells me to lower the gown and bend over the table. An exam gown automatically opens in the back in this position so the doctor doesn't have to undo the lower string tie to do a rectal.

A couple of times, the doctor has had me lie on my side on the exam table for the rectal and I have had this done wearing a gown and also wearing nothing at all. One doctor that I had for several years always had me take my underpants completely off for the rectal and told me to get on the table and lie on my side. This doctor also described what he was doing throughout the exam, including while rotating his finger in my rectum to check for tumors all the way around before pressing down on my prostate and talking about that too. He was the only doctor that I remember talking during the exam itself. He also took his time. Some doctors do just a quick in and out with rectals but he probably took 30 seconds.

After doing the exam, a few doctors have offered tissues for me to wipe up the lube but most haven't offered anything. The last rectal exam I had was like most of the others. Stripped to briefs only for the exam. Doctor told me to "drop your shorts to your ankles, please." He examined my testicles and checked me for a hernia. He then told me to turn around and bend over the table. I was leaning on my elbows this time but the time before I remember that he told me to lay my chest flat on the table. He didn't say what he was about to do and didn't describe what he was doing during the exam. Didn't say anything after it either except "you can pull your shorts up and have a seat." No offer of tissues. After a little more talk, he told me to get dressed and walked me out of the exam room.

I've never had a doctor ask me if I have had a rectal exam before or ask me if I want one. I don't care about not being asked if I want one. That would be like asking a patient if he or she wants the doctor to check their pulse or listen to their lungs. Since the rectal takes a few seconds and is only slightly uncomfortable, it shouldn't be made out to be a big deal. Since that first time in my 20s, I know what to expect.

Since rectal exams are common in physicals of males and females, it would be great if more females commented on this topic.

Well I can not say a lot for myself @davidwest because I am under 30 and my private gynecologist told me 2 years ago when I he gave me my first check up that I am much too young to need rectal exams. I will only start to be given them when I am over 40 years old. It is not usual to go to gynecologists for check ups in England anyway but I am just being careful because of my mum's history.

My mum goes to my gynecologist as well and he does give her rectal exams because she is obviously old enough. She said he gives her rectal exams when she is still there in the leg supports and he just tells her he is going to examine her rectum and asks her to bear down.

I get instructed to lay on my left side and draw my knees towards my chest. As I get into this position I glance at the doctor as he's grabbing the tube of lubricant. I next get told that this will feel a little cold and within seconds the rectal exam is completed.

With the urologist, she usually says something like “I need to examine you know so take down your pants. Front first.” Then “ bend over the table for me.” Then I feel the cold lubricant as she inserts her finger and runs it back and forth over my prostate. Then, “Everything feels good, no lumps.”

Depends on the circumstances. When it’s was during gyn exams I was still on my back and they just said that they were going to check my rectum, and something about feeling a bit of pressure. Think they usually made some comment while inside about it not being long now.

The last couple I’ve had have been part of sti checks. Nothing majorly, but I was asked to bend over the table and relax both times. She took a swab first, which I hardly felt go in, then a quick exam with her finger. Said something similar about me feeling a finger against my anus and rotating it I think. Can’t remember the details.

It was the end of the exam in both these situations so I was given something to wipe any lube and told I could get dressed again.

Interesting question. Over the years, I've had my various doctors/NPs/PAs announce the rectal and prostate exam in a variety of ways. I'd have to put them into three different categories.

Excellent post JimmyJohnson. I like examiners who are in the first category with a lot of instructions and a sense of command over the situation.

My male doctor said before my first and only one rectal exam: i need to check your rectum, please get on your left side on exam table, bend your right leg, take deep breath and bear down.

Since my doctor is basically a family member my appointments are very informal. Before he starts he usually says things like “Time for your least favourite part” “Lean forward and rest your chest on the table.” or “I’m going to do your DRE now, Min.”

He’s much more professional during the procedure though. He usually says things like “I’m going to insert my finger now, you’ll feel something cool and a bit of pressure.” “Deep breaths now, Min.” or “Bear down and breathe in.”

He usually explains to me what’s going on throughout the whole thing, like “Your rectal walls feel nice and smooth.” “I’m feeling your prostate now.” and “Try to relax more, Min.” If I’m showing any signs of discomfort he usually changes subject, asking me about school and stuff.

After he’s done he just withdraws his finger and says the usual “All done.” “See? That wasn’t so bad...” “Looks like there’s no blood on my finger this time.” Yes, he actually said that once.

Minmin

Who is your doctor in relation to you if you don’t mind me asking. You say “basically” a family member.

Also, don’t you think 20s is a bit young for rectal exams?

"Open wide!!!"

Minmin

Who is your doctor in relation to you if you don’t mind me asking. You say “basically” a family member.

Also, don’t you think 20s is a bit young for rectal exams?

He’s my boyfriend’s dad. He’s been my doctor since I was a baby.

Yeah, I thought that... it doesn’t bother me though. He probably just wants to check just in case, my grandfather had developed a sort of prostate cancer so maybe that’s why.

After he checked my balls he said to me: "Lay on your left side, please". Then without any comment he shoved his finger in my rectum. He said:" It's all soft. Everything is OK. You can put on your clothes."

Last time she smiled as she put her glove on and said something along the lines of " bend over and relax" then said it felt fine as she slid her finger in.

I've only had one rectal exam during an exam with a play doc I met on here so not sure If it counts. But anyway I had my boxer shorts around my knees as he had just done a genital exam. I went to pull them up when he told me to take them right off and get up on the exam table on my arms and knees. I have never felt so vulnerable.

I guess that many doctors don't really tell their patients that they are about to do a rectal exam on them. For males who have had one before, there is the usual instruction to turn around and bend over the exam table. No surprise about what is coming next if you have ever had it done before. As I wrote before, my first rectal exam came as a complete surprise and the doctor probably guessed that I was young enough that it was probably my first. He told me that he was going to examine my rectum, which meant nothing to me.

My play Drs are normally very clinical about it (which I like). Along the lines of; "now for your rectal exam"

For the initial rectal exam I'm often asked to bend over the exam table, feet flat on the floor, legs apart. With one hand resting on the bottom of my back I'm asked to breath in and out deeply - one third breath the finger goes in

I'm then placed in different positions on the exam bed for deeper, wider examination

My playdoc usually says something along the lines of "Now just remove your underpants and bend over the table. I need to check your anus." This is just after he has had me standing as he checks my testicles and penis. He just looks at my anus and rubs a finger over it, then instructs me to lay down on my stomach for the rectal temperature (taken with my vintage glass thermometer that he slowly twirls up my ass!). All this is followed by, "Now if you'll get up on your knees and elbows, I need to check your prostate". Heaven, pure heaven! So much so I always leak pre-cum all over the paper on the exam table!

Last exam was done by a licensed practical nurse, and she actually asked me, "Would you like me to examine your prostate?" Looking back I'm guessing she was hoping I'd say no. Given I had just turned 50, and because I'm a horny rotten bastard, I said "Yes, please do," in as even a tone as I could muster, without smiling too much.

Then as I recall she said something like "Okay, lean over the table and try to relax, you may feel some pressure as I insert..."

It was pretty awesome, even if it only lasted a couple seconds.

Afterwards she announced, in a rather clinical voice, "Your prostate is fine," and handed me a tissue to clean myself up. In my head I wanted to ask her "Are you sure? Shouldn't you check more thoroughly?" but I kept that to myself.

He had just finished my hernia exam and said, "I'm going to go ahead and check your prostate while we're at it." He then told and showed me exactly how he wanted me positioned, bending over the table with my toes pointed in. While he was visually inspecting my anus before any penetration, he was giving me some of the symptoms of an enlarged prostate. During the exam he didn't say anything. Afterwards, while he was taking off his gloves, he told me my prostate was slightly enlarged but normal for my age. After he washed up he kind of demonstrated with his hand and fingers the function and shape of a prostate and how it's checked.

I have been helping doctors with DRE. Such as putting gloves on, lubing index finger, taking notes.

Usually doctor says: please take such and such position, i guess most of patients guess what will happened if they see me putting gloves on doctor hands and then lubing his/her index finger.

Once patients is in position, doctor tells him/her try to relax, and I usually add: count to 3, or on count of 3. Most patients tell me it actually helps. Some doctors will push finger on number 3, some wait few seconds after patient said 3.

My doc is really polite and very unassuming when it gets to this point as my briefs are now off. He will say, "Let's have u turn onto your side, raise up you leg," and I hear him squirt some KY on his finger. Then he raises my cheek, tells me to relax and inserts and twists all around. I am them told to sit up and he changes his glove while I wait until told to stand up and spread. He does my hernia exam and follows up with a DRE for prostate.

"Turn around, spread your cheeks apart."

"Yes, yes, it makes me cry out too...I've been on both ends of the finger."

"OK, nothing unusual."

Since she already told me to “pull my undershorts down” for the genital exam, she then says “just roll onto your side and pull your knees up, we'll do a rectal exam"…and then, she'll say something like ”I've got a cold gooey finger" or “this is uncomfortable, I realize”…to which I once replied, “beats going to the dentist”, which she thought was amusing…of course, given my med fet, for me it is A LOT better than going to the dentist… 😉