Long distance sub

My boyfriend lives in California and I live in Utah .He is truly amazing , and I feel very lucky to have him in my life . I wasn't exactly treated very well in the past, and neither was he. His ex's cheated and used him financially.

From the beginning I wanted to prove I wasn't like them, He has an app on my phone so he always knows where I am. I let my phone die and he was pissed so I said he should spank me next time he was here " half ass kidding and not expecting a real spanking". And that is what I got

First he told me to get naked then over his knee and to my surprise he beat my ass. With every swat he said what I did wrong. He finished by putting me on my knees and shoving his cock down my throat and I mean down the throat like gagging on it and all. Tears rolling down my face I swallowed it .

I loved it I am a bit of a rebel and live fast pace . I feel like rules and structure is what I need what I've been missing I want him to punish me first every time we see each other. I don't mind him tracking me I find it so hot every time I get a text or a call where are you . But I'm not sure he fully gets it. I want to be and feel owned by him. I don't want responses like if I don't reply just do what you want. No Ugg I want to wait I want to hear "NO" once in a while. I want him to surround my house with cameras even in my bedroom. I want him to watch me like he's protecting his property. When I'm bad I want that punishment. But after the first time he only seems a little interest. What can I do?

I have no direct experience of this kind of situation, but I guess you should try telling him that you enjoyed submitting to him when he spanked you. That's assuming that he is caring enough to treat you with respect as a sub and honour personal safety.

I am sure others here with greater experience could offer more comprehensive advice.

Part of it may depend on how often you can both be together, geographically.

Welcome to Zity, Junebug (*very* cute name, that, by the way). I, and I really am sure that I speak for others here too, welcome you, and hope to be as helpful and supportive as possible. We are glad that you have a successful, somewhat, long-distance, relationship. Not everyone here can find even a fraction of the joy, fulfillment and healing that you have already shared here.

I felt the same way about my wife, as you do about your boyfriend, when we were playing a lot. She did expand our play to D/S, without having heard of it, but I couldn't get her to be as involved as you want your boyfriend to be with you, Junebug. With that in mind, some folks may not have a personality that goes so far in domination as you might like. For some of us (certainly not all) the conflict between domination, and the feelings of respect and loving tenderness may be too great to overcome without a very stressful inner conflict. Many, if not most, of us here, have to settle for less than you already have.

We are glad for you that you have as much as you do. There will likely be conflict for you, as you 'settle' for less domination than you want, as your boyfriend stresses over trying to provide as much domination as you would like. Perhaps it can be a bonding experience for each of you to realize that you both are having to resolve stressful inner conflict to meet each other part way in expressing your mutual love through intimate play.

Hi y'all.

I live in Indiana and my Master lives in Oregon. On May 18th this year we will be together 3 years. We met online and have never seen each other in person. I can't wait until we do, and I long for it every moment of every day.

He is a wonderful, loving, honorable Master who generously supports and provides me, i have been truly blessed, which is why I feel so guilty when I get upset/hurt because I need Him, His physical touch.

Without it . . .sometimes I feel abandoned, useless, worthless.I know that makes me a horrible sub. But I don't know how to combat these feelings

Oh Outlaw, you are not worthless or useless. Your Master's attention should be proof that you are worthy of love. I know when I have had a good cathartic punishment spanking I feel very loved and any guilty feelings are gone. I don't know this will work for you, but you are the only you there is in the entire universe. I hope your master can help you know that you are special. Even if you feel completely his property, he considers you worth owning. We all want and need touch... even your master needs it, it's a sign you are human not of your weakness it's a sign of your humanity.

Thank you for your kindness and encouragement canuck brat. I appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my feelings

Hi Outlaw lil,

You have taken great initial steps toward expanding your knowledge on submission and the entire D/s dynamic since you gave a good overview of your situation and then took the time to expand on your Interests in your profile. Many people here are willing to share knowledge with you so just start asking.

Welcome, hope to see many posts from you as you explore the world of D/s.

DomInMesquite

I guess this is the way it will have to be since meeting might be a problem. I'd like a sub I can play with online and by phone. I think we could have a lot of fun that way but if we ever did get a chance to meet and play for real, that would be better yet.

Long distance relationships are indeed possible and can be wonderfully satisfying. I have been in a D/s relationship with Curious...my sub who I met on Zity...for a year and a half. We've met twice and have a third get together planned in 3 weeks. Those are truly treasured since I live in Oregon and she in N.Y.. But we manage a chat on the phone nearly everyday...Skype more days than not...and text constantly. I love her and she loves me. As my darling baby girl she needs and receives hard bare bottom spankings...enemas...has her temperature taken rectally and whatever else it pleases me to do with her. These are things I've wanted to do all my life and now I have someone who is deeply pleased just to please me. I can hardly believe my good fortune. I wish you every success and pleasure as well. It is possible.

One of the most intense sexual relationships I ever had was with a girl I never met. I got to know her when she responded to a craigslist ad looking for a sub. We would have incredibly erotic phone sessions where I would have her do nasty things to herself - usually inserting things. I took her anal virginity this way and gave her her first double penetration. This phone/chat relationship went on for a couple years. When we first "met" she was a university student. We would chat online while she was in the library. I would give her "assignments" like go to the women's room, insert something, and rub until you cum. Later, when she got a job we would chat on the phone while she was in her office after everyone had gone home. I had her keep a hair mousse bottle in her desk drawer so that she could insert it while we talked. It might have been the most erotic sex of any kind that I've ever had. It all ended when she met a guy and got married. I'll never forget her.

I have engaged in my fetish for buttock injections with young ladies by giving and receiving cyber shots usually online but sometimes by telephone. The doctor/nurse is always very strict and the patient frightened and reluctant when told to pull down pants/panties and bend over.

@junebug and others, communication is key! I joke about my crystal ball being in the shop for repair as I am not always to read someone's mind. If you want him to do what you would like, you need to tell him.

I have a Dom who lives across the US from me. Sadly his account is pending deletion, so I am currently looking again. His work schedule and mine just didn't jive. But hey, some people are lucky enough to have long distance relationships work. I'm just not one of them. Good luck!

I suppose a long distance relationship can work for a while but eventually it can become frustrating if both partners are not equal in giving and taking. if you feel you are doing all the giving and you have communicated this to your partner it becomes very exhausting mentally and physically. but I'm glad I had the opportunity to try to accomplish this. I gave it my best. it just was not enough for my partner eventually. and I will always care about my partner, unfortunately, apparen't the feelings were not returned. I thought they were but deep down I knew. there was some lying going on to me. I was a good support person when my partner needed it, but never felt he was supportive to me. especially when I really needed it. so I have my memories and he has himself. it would take an awful lot of convincing for me to be in that place again and at this point do not want to be hurt that way again. so I will stay as I am and enjoy my life. he was a big part of it for a long time but I will have to get past that. it took him no time to get past me. so, for me they don't work. good luck though if it works for you