The Difference between Possessions and Experiences

I keep coming across the apparently psychologically validated statement that people in general, derive more long term satisfaction from having experienced something (even if paid for, like a trip or vacation) than from simply buying a new possession.

But here comes a conundrum: what about the experience of sex if it is paid for? We are taught that paying for sex is tawdry, demeaning and something real men don't need to do. Paying for pussy is the ultimate knock-down.

So how does that all fit in with experiences being more satisfying in the long run?

I'm just speculating here, but I would think that if you paid a "high class call girl" or "escort" who was highly skilled and prepared to justify her high price, she might provide you with an experience that would indeed be memorable and would provide you with a very long lasting feeling of satisfaction.

I can imagine that you might fondly recall the highlights of such a paid sexual encounter, just as you would recall the highlights of a paid vacation.

I'm assuming that in the situation above you would have enough disposable income to afford the best, and not just be spending the rent money on a back alley quickie!

I'm assuming that in the situation above you would have enough disposable income to afford the best, and not just be spending the rent money on a back alley quickie!

Well, luckily we have legal storefront brothels here where I live, about 5 short minutes walk away from my house. But those are not the same as high end call girls or escorts.

In a way that is a bit comical, my wife, when hanging out the window to smoke her cursed cigarettes, learned that a neighbor of ours had a pair of paid girls come over for fun and games now and then. Had a good laugh about that, but in all honesty, the made-up, polished and dressed-up type of lady is not my thing. I'm one of the kind of guys who likes the regular girl-next-door look and character. Which is also why the store front brothel girls are not that appealing, they are always in skimpy lingerie. I've always wondered why none ever dress up in jeans or everyday clothes.

. . . . But here comes a conundrum: what about the experience of sex if it is paid for? We are taught that paying for sex is tawdry, demeaning and something real men don't need to do. Paying for pussy is the ultimate knock-down.

So how does that all fit in with experiences being more satisfying in the long run?

I TOTALLY disagree with that thought.

There is nothing wrong with paying for pussy. The fact that you think that is any different from paying for a back massage shows you think the pussy is different from other body parts. IT ISN'T.

Having sex is no different than breathing, digestion, metabolism or neurologic activity. It's simply something animals do.

If the sex is bought and paid for, like any other commodity, there is no reason it should be any less rewarding in any respect than a paid for back massage. Besides, someone you pay for sex may be very good at it and it doesn't matter if they are a $20,000 a night GFE or a $100 per hour call girl, nor does it matter if the purchaser is wealthy or poor.

Paying for an experience is just that, an experience, like going on a vacation, paying for an escort service, a movie or opera, and hopefully, it was worth what it cost you.

You pay $$$$ to go see and maybe touch the Leaning Tower of Pisa, you don't get to own it.

I think of experiences as attending concerts or sporting events for a live effect that has a counterpart of watching a game on TV, watching a concert video, or listening to a CD.

For folks that enjoy these things, i don't have to tell them that there's no substitute for live action & performances. These would be experiences worth spending money. Of course people like going on vacations & such too.

Then there's the other issue in this topic. We pay for sex, one way or another. Sometimes it's better to pay for it, where you leave them behind to go home, rather than being stuck in a relationship with someone where that well may run dry at some point, and you're left miserable. It comes down to a balance of give & take. What works out best in the long run. Depends on a lot of factors. What's a better option for one may not be so for another.

But one way or another, we're paying for it.

There is nothing wrong with paying for pussy.

I didn't say that me, myself and I thought that paying for sex is wrong. I said that we are taught that it is wrong. As far as I am concerned, it's an easy way to have some uncomplicated sex. But that aside, there is still a social stigma attached.

I doubt there is any sex education class that makes that point and the fact that it is illegal in so many parts of the world only validates the point. And even if it is legal, there are always many restrictions and rules and regulations placed on the activity that it is clear to anyone that society does not really appreciate people paying for sex in an overt and open manner.

In some conversations I've had with female friends, when the topic of sexual partners outside of marriage comes up, then it seems they have less trouble accepting that than they would if they found out their husbands were paying visits to a brothel. And it's not because of the money spent either (unless of course the men are going really overboard, visits are generally around 50 euro, not exactly an earth-shattering Hollywood inflated extravaganza Indecent Proposal level ... 😃 ).

Perhaps it is the idea that if you pay for sex, it is supposed to show there is no personal or emotional commitment involved.

I paid for sex once several years ago. I was out with some friends at an all nude strip place. One girl and I really hit it off and as the night wore on and, as I had been extremely generous in her "dancing" tips she told me at closing time she would go to a hotel with me. It was one of my best and unique sexual experiences ever. We showered and for a couple hours she screwed me like I never had been screwed before. This was one extremely talented girl. I gave her the $100 she asked for and tipped another hundred before calling a cab and paying for that too. All told, she earned $600-$700 between the dances and the extra attention afterwards. This is one of my most memorable sex memories, and she was a lovely and fun woman, too.

I have done most types of sex work. I have done street work when I was very young, I have worked for an agency, and I have also advertised independently. I worked in a brothel for a very short period when I was younger, but I decided that it wasn't really for me. I have to add, that it was behind closed doors, and not in shop windows as agracier puts it. To try and answer agracier that point. When I was doing street work sometimes I would wear jeans and everyday clothes, other times I would dress in more revealing clothes. Much depended on my mood, but more importantly the weather.!! You are often out in the cold, rain and wind. So therefore you dressed the best way to keep warm and dry. At all times I have always been completely honest about me being pre op transsexual. The short period when I worked in a brothel, it was on the recommendation of someone one of my friends knew. A brothel was looking for new girls to work through the afternoon and early evening, and they were trying to attract new clients, and provide alternative options for the clients. Again to try and answer agraciers point, the condition of working there was that you had to wear lingerie, basque, underwear etc. You could wear a dressing gown over the top, but as it was so warm in the building most of the time you didn't bother. There were 6 girls working on the afternoon together with a maid and the Madam. Most of the time was spent just sitting around talking and reading magazines. I found it quite boring and often pointless to be honest. I didn't tend to get many clients and I only worked there for about 9 or 10 months.

Escort work paid the most money, but the agency also took a cut. For escort work you had to take much more care of your appearance and clothing. Most bookings required new matching underwear and a full body wax, pedicure and often a make up session before the booking. So although it paid much more, you were also spending much more money. Often clients would request a specific look, so you often were buying new dresses and shoes for the booking.

Strangely, the most money I ever made was when I was doing street work. Completely out of the blue, late one night, a punter picked me up in a posh limousine with darkened windows. I was beckoned to get into the rear passenger side. When I got in there was already another girl also in the back seat.

We drove a long way out of the city, and it was only when we got out of the car that I recognised the man in the front passenger seat.

He was a very well known professional footballer. I will never name him, but he was well known for the London party scene, and had a reputation for being a ladies man.

When I opened the envelope in the taxi back to my home, I really could not believe how much money was in there.!!

Great question.

When I was much younger, I ended up at an older guys apartment for a drink or two. He asked if he could fuck me for $X. I thought about it, and said yes. I love sex. I hated every minute. We finished, and I left, with his money.

I felt sick to my stomach, ashamed, and used for a few days, and went as far as going back to the bar we met at to give him back his money.

The complete irony... He was kinda cute, and I was kinda horny. If he'd just made a pass at me, we would have had really good sex. FREE!

There's one for the psychiatrists.

Once again, paying for sex is no different than paying for a back massage.

I find it unreasonable that paying for sex should be illegal or under any type of legal constraint when you can legally do the same things for free.

I find it unreasonable that paying for sex should be illegal or under any type of legal constraint.

And don't forget moral restraints and condemnation by others.

Even in countries where paying for sex is not illegal, like where I live, very few people will admit to doing so. I know of only one friend of mine who admitted having paid for sex in a brothel. All others will act (or feign) like it is beneath them.

One good friend of mine, even said he'd never walked through the local red light district, until I laughed at us taking a roundabout way to our destination once. Instead I did the practical thing and walked through the area with him. Between us here, I really didn't believe he'd never walked through the Red Light district. But the thing was, that he felt he had to say so.

Now, other friends will go out of their way to pass through - I am guilty of that as well ... 😃 😃

I don't think prostitution should be illegal. It would be much safer for all if it were legalized and regulated. Ditto for drugs. Every time I hear of another fentanyl-laced heroin overdose I think the dumb asses should regulate and legalize heroin so at least the poor users know what they are getting.

As far as paying for experiences vs possessions, I look at that one as many of my possessions give me memorable experiences. I would love to go out west and go hot spring hopping, but with the current budget and an SO that will not travel, that is not going to be happening. So I bought a hot tub. Not quite the same, but I have had a lot of nice experiences in it and I hope I will continue to.

An interesting tidbit... I was working in Milan many years ago now and we were driving down one of the highways and there was a nicely dressed woman on the side of the road. I thought she had broken down and it might be fun to see if she wanted a lift. My friend who was a local cracked up and told me she was "working". I was a bit thick and said, you mean she is on her way to work? He kind of blushed and said no, she is working there. Ahhhhhh. I have to hand it to them. They give the term roadside assistance an entire new dimension.

It has nothing to do with it not being a good experience and everything to do with men trying to control women's sexuality. You want to protect sex workers from being exploited? Make it legal and unionize it.

Forget the unions.

Just legalize it. If I have sex with my husband or some guy pays for sex with a prostitute, the same things are happening in the bedroom.

Keep the government out of the bedroom.

Keep the government out of the bedroom.

What you should really be saying is: keep religion out of the bedroom or don't let religions regulate how everyone experiences their sexuality. It's all fine and well if one denomination believes in this or that point of sexual morality, but they usually end up trying to force it on everyone else as well. And the path to accomplishing that is indeed through government legislation ...

Religion killed my spouse sexual life.

Six words to kill sex, and six is the devil's number I tought.

I'm not normally a union fan but I do know that sex workers are usually treated as 1099 employees in the US where legal. The clubs get away with that as its a buyers market on dancers, and I assume prostitutes as well. That sucks. Sex workers in the US are, in very many ways, the equivalent of Factory workers in the 19th Century.

I agree with many of the comments here. The government (any government!) shouldn't be in the business of legislating morality. If someone wants to pay for sex they should legally be able to do that. And if that's how some individuals wish to earn a living, so be it. I feel the same way about recreational drugs. I don't personally use them, but hey, if that's your thing go right ahead.