Like many people, especially those on this board, I have a spanking fetish. As I have explored the details of my fetish I have come to realize that while there are some elements of the fetish we all share, most of us have very different ideas of what our fantasies look like. I thought I would start a thread sharing some of the peculiarities of my spanking fetish to see what elements others may share and where others may differ.
There are several key elements of my spanking fantasy that are all but impossible to act out. In general I fantasize about being the spankee about 100:1 to me being the spanker. So with me as the spankee, the elements that make a good fantasy are as follows:
It is non-consensual. I would have a strong aversion and fear of actually being spanked. This element alone is what makes the fantasy impossible to act out. By definition, any fantasy I allow to be acted out would be consensual.
Second, the spanker would have actual authority to spank me like a babysitter, governess, parent or guardian, etc. In my fantasy this is easy, but again impossible to act out. Who would really have actual authority to spank me if I did not grant permission? That said, I often fantasized about someone I grant permission to spank me delegating that authority to someone else against my wishes. Example, a girlfriend delegating authority to one of her friends (female or male) and asking them to babysit me while she went out. The humiliation from this would be intense even if that person didn't actually spank me. Just knowing they had the authority to spank me would be bad enough.
Since the spanker would have authority to delegate to others, I would have no expectation of privacy if I needed to be spanked in front of guests. If my pants were bing pulled down in front of company (both male and female) I may beg to be taken somewhere private, but I would have no recourse if the decision was made that I was to have my bottom bared in front of company and spanked in front of them.
There would be no sexual contact between me or the spanker. The spanker would remain fully clothed. There would be no touching of my genitals other than incidental touching as a result of undressing me, moving me around or manhandling me to comply with instructions. I have fantasized about being bathed, shaved, examined or inspected, but this contact would not be with the intent of causing me arousal and would be humiliating touching secondary to their responsibilities as babysitter, guardian, etc.
The actual spanking itself would be firm to severe but not brutal. There may be light bruising and welts being raised, but I find severe bruising, broken skin and bleeding to be a turn off.
The spanking would be as punishment for an actual transgression and not for the gratification or arousal of the spanker. If they became aroused or enjoyed spanking me that would be perfectly fine, so long as there was intent to actually punish and correct me and not solely for their enjoyment.
The spanker would be dressed in normal, modest clothing. No corsets, high boots, short skirts, low cut dresses, etc. of the stereotypical dominatrix. For women spankers, I prefer that they wear pants, preferably jeans.
Implement would be spanker's choice, but i prefer flat instruments. My favorites are in order, hairbrush (solid flat wooden ones), wooden rulers, paddles and paddle like objects, belts (and similar straps), wooden spoon (which I distinguish from paddles due to the curvature). I have been spanked with and am OK with, plastic or wooden (but not wire) coat hanger, rods, canes, sticks, etc. I was spanked (beaten) once as a teenager by another teen (semi-consensual) with an extension cord. I would prefer to not be beaten with one again, but would accept it if the spanker insisted on it. I do not like whips or extremely thin canes and sticks. They tend to break the skin without widespread pain.
I would be dressed normally (no panties, 'sissy dresses', jock straps, thongs, leather, etc.) Jeans, shorts, pajamas, t-shirts, polo shirts, etc. Regardless of what I was otherwise wearing I would always have on nice, fresh, clean tighty whities. Hanes or Fruit of the Loom as I would not be permitted designer brand underwear. Of course a naught little boy like me would never be permitted boxers or boxer-briefs, but I also am turned off by 'underroos' or cartoon briefs. Plain white tighty whites that says like a little boy, but not an actual little boy are best. They would be tight fitting and stain free.
Pants and underpants would be lowered a the discretion of the spanker. Shirt may be pulled up to shoulder blades, but I prefer to have clothing remain on me, but pulled way down to ankles. While the main focus of the spanking would be my bottom, I would have no expectation of modesty and have no right to complain that my pants are pulled way down exposing my genitals, even if there is to be no explicit contact with them. A naught little boy has no right to be ashamed of his nudity. The only thing he has a right to be ashamed of is his bad behavior.
I am never made to count out the strokes and I find it a mild turn off to be asked to count or thank the spanker. Counting implies a judicial punishment and thanking a hazing ritual. I will be spanked for as long as and until the spanker is satisfied that I have been appropriately punished. There is no set number of stokes that I should expect. I will be spanked until the spanker is satisfied.
I am allowed to beg, plead, cry out and scream if necessary. Ideally, I will be crying genuine tears when the spanking is done. While it is understandable that I may as a reflex reaction squirm, try to avoid the spanking, place my hand over my bottom or attempt to prematurely retrieve my pants and cover myself, I will also be expected to remove my hands, get back into position. Any clothing that I have prematurely retrieved will be re-lowered or possibly removed if necessary to keep my properly exposed during my spanking.
When the spanking is over I may or may not be order to the corner. I may be sent to bed or taken to the bath at the spankers discretion. I may also simply be allowed to dress myself or I may be told that I may replace my briefs but my pants are to remain off. I will rarely be told to remain naked from the waist down if I am not in the corner or being sent to bed. I have been ordered to sleep without PJ bottoms or briefs.
If I am especially repentant, I may be held in the arms of my spanker (pants and briefs still at ankles) while I cry myself out. I have also been left to cry it out face down on the bed while I had my back rubbed.
Well, these are just some of the elements that make up my spanking fantasy. i would be curious to see how they compared to others.