A question about fitting in.

The question that's never been answered for me, is where do bisexual crossdressers fit in where the LGBT community is concerned, let's say iI'm NOT bi, what about crossdressers in general ?, who are normally straight.

Depends on the particulars of your cross-dressing, honestly, Some forms of crossdressing are sexual identities, some are not.

Generally you fall under 'B' for bisexual. Depending on your cross-dressing, you may also fall under the catch-all '+' for other sexual identities.

Crossdressing does not mean you necessarily want to get up to things in bed with guys. Plenty of lipstick lesbians in this world with zero interest in actual dick sort of prove that. You may just want to present female because it feels good to be feminine, it's fun to dress up, and you just happen to look damn good in a dress and make-up.

Way I see it is don't worry about labels and fitting in as such I am pansexual and I think its such a shame that any of us have to find a way to fit in as it is said be happy as you are be proud of what you like my motto , sending you warm wishes 😃

I am Bi and cross dress.

I go to counseling because of other issues in top of sexuality.

I'm not planning or thinkijg about transitioning but because I do have a feminine side that I like to be not only for sexual purposes, my therapist says that I fall under "T" as in transgender.

Obviously my bisexuality falls under "B";

If cross dressing is a sexual thing only, then it's more like a fetish but if you like to dress up girlie with or without sexual stuff, then you are transgender.

Cross-dressing for me is only partial, the lingerie side. I don't and wouldn't go out dressed up as I'm not convincing anyway; it's just an erotic, sensual sexual release. If someone wants to label that as being a pervert I really don't care.

A straight cross dresser is traditionally viewed under the name transvestite. And would fit under the T, even though the T usually refers to transgender. I appreciate drag as an art form but it does little for me as gay man. To each your own. A transvestite male who is straight hanging out in a gay club most likely would be hit on by guys, and or possibly other cross dressers. That is not to say I think you have anything to worry about in my experience, although i did have a drag queen one time grab my cock and yank it out of my shorts simply because she wanted to, which i felt was rather bold, but then many drag queens have a very forceful playful nature, I was a bit horrified but then I was in a gay bar and hadn't encouraged her. So in my case anyway I have more to fear from a CD than she did of me. LOL Do what you like, but please no touching without a little consent... Although I remember more than one friend telling me about going out in drag to try it and how guys at the bar were very grabby and extra flirtatious. So it might just be a male hormone thing, be you in or out of face.... Of course I am a little more shy, I am very happy to lick touch suck etc, but i need very clear signals or a dominate man saying do "this"... lol

I have been hanging out, and volunteering in the LBGT community most of my life. I also lived in the gaybourhood for years.

I'm was on Toronto pride commitee until I boycotted it this year, and I deliver hot meals to trans sex workers, and displaced trans youth (MealTrans)

Where BI fits into the acronym- it doesn't. The LB's pretend we don't exist.

What the community thinks of T. Not much, they would prefer if you didn't exist, but grudgingly let you in as comedic relief.

I love my LBGT family, but they can be as narrow minded as the rest.

If you really want to be part of the alphabet soup, just add it on the the rest. So far we are at LBGTQQTTI++, add, or subtract letters as you see fit.

The labels have gotten insane, and the infighting worse. The community tries to create unity by excluding people.

I just went back to a simple, and concise label- Queer.

I just went back to a simple, and concise label- Queer.

Amen Sister.

You don't need a label. Just be yourself and live your life.

You don't need a label. Just be yourself and live your life.

EVERYBODY needs labels. . . . the "labelee" and the "labeler"

Are you insecure about what your label might be?

How can you communicate without them?

I know all my labels. They are just adjectives, but says what I am.

EVERYBODY needs labels. . . . the "labelee" and the "labeler"

Are you insecure about what your label might be?

What if - as so often happens - the two are in disagreement what the label should be or how to interpret what the label actually means or refers to? Historically this has led to horrid and often murderous results.

I'll give a simple and concise example that no one should be able to refute: where Nazis labeled certain people as 'Jews' (and whole nations came to accept this labeling, often without any real religious background on the matter) others labeled those same people as humans. Tell me those labels didn't make a world of difference.

There are people, even now in the US, who do not think that being gay is acceptable and who wish to deprive this group of certain rights. Start using more extreme or disapproving labels for 'gay' and things will only become worse for this group.

Going back to the original question

The question that's never been answered for me, is where do bisexual crossdressers fit in where the LGBT community is concerned, let's say iI'm NOT bi, what about crossdressers in general ?, who are normally straight.

If you're bi, then you're bi. If you're straight, then you're straight. I don't see why clothes suddenly have this major influence on it. I LOVE drag, but queens to me and simply 'gay' (if they are a man who likes men) or occasionally straight, or bi.

For the love of shit can we stop adding letters to LGBTQI-LMNOP or whatever it is now?! I can't keep up because I just don't care!

If you're looking for your own special label because you wear a dress, then look for a label from a clothes company or something, I don't see why that should suddenly change where you put your dick!

It's sexuality, not fashion. The clothes (usually) come off in the bedroom anyway!

I think the question is basically saying is my kink part of the Queer community? And in general his kink is so similar to a significant minority in the group that if he wants to identify with it go right ahead. Indeed there are many people who have transitioned to a new gender and are straight but remain in the community because of the process they went through. Everyone wants to belong.

let's say iI'm NOT bi, what about crossdressers in general ?, who are normally straight.

I think you pretty much described your sexuality with that statement. You are straight. You are attracted to and have sex with women only. Crossdressing I would say is a characteristic of your sexuality which has many complexities. But at the end of the day you only have sex with women, so you are straight.

The LGBT labels work if you simply boil it down to who you have sex with. Describing ones sexuality with labels gets messy because how someone views their own sexuality can be very unique and beyond a label.

Interesting thread... for me, a male, I've find myself dealing with two sets of labels - one set that deals with my sexuality. and one set that deals with my garment wearing preference. From the choice of sexuality labels such as straight, heteroflexible, bi, and gay - I'm heteroflexible. That's was easy, but when it comes finding a label that fits based on my garment preference, that's not been so easy... would need a term like crossdresserfexible or transvestitefexible.

I think people confuse sexual preferences with fetishes and then try to extend those, especially the latter onto their identity.

I am male and like to have sex with both females and males, that makes me bisexual. End of story.

The fact I am not interested in vanilla sex with males does not change that I am bi.

Only situations I have sex with males are either part of D/s scene or MMF. Am I some special thing? No - I am bi.

There is nothing wrong, not wrong, good or bad about it. It is like it is and I think too many people try to make something special out of their preferences and fetishes, and often confusion. The best is to keep things simple.

Has anyone looked at the gender and whatcha ma dooo chart lately? You can call yourself anything. It's so broad now you can call yourself a vampire frisky dress wearer and create your own pronouns and sue anyone that disagrees with using them for being discriminatory or even as threatening.

Don't even bother. Just do your thing and be you. It's a wild mess out there now.

I give up even trying to make sense of it anymore.

On labels for people.

I always felt that person was enough. I have found for a lot of people it is not. They want to feel like they are special.

News you are not. If you can sprout wings and fly then you are special. As far as God-given rights go. God does not hand out too many. The right to die. That is about it

Anything else is a human right that humans can give or take away.

No person can expect to be accepted or liked by any other person or disliked and rejected. This can not be legislated.

No good usually comes from people being labeled. It just makes them a target for other labeled people.

When asked to categorize myself I always state.

"I just am"

That's the truth I just am. I do what I do and say what I like regardless of social bullshit Believe me I have some very unpopular opinions and do not mind expressing them. Sometime I will die. I would be rather disappointed with my life if all I did was try to fit in instead of living it on my terms.

No one has to like me and not everyone does. That is just the way it is. I just am. Take it or leave it. I do not intend on changing.

@Bad_Princess Great post and great philosophy.

No good usually comes from people being labeled. It just makes them a target for other labeled people.

👍👍👍

am Bi and cross dress.

I go to counseling because of other issues in top of sexuality.

I'm not planning or thinkijg about transitioning but because I do have a feminine side that I like to be not only for sexual purposes, my therapist says that I fall under "T" as in transgender.

Obviously my bisexuality falls under "B";

If cross dressing is a sexual thing only, then it's more like a fetish but if you like to dress up girlie with or without sexual stuff, then you are transgender.

I just found this question and subsequent posts, sorry to be late to the races!!

Since I joined Zity, I have noticed the Orientation for some people is HETEROFLEXIBLE. I have never heard of that before and wondered what that really means. I am transgender and when I present as a female, I do enjoy sex with men and women alike. When I present as male, I typically am attracted to women. As such, I have described myself as bisexual. I've read the various posts regarding 'labels' and I agree that labels are not necessary. Just wondering what the concensus of opinion would be,, or am I heteroflexible?