Sexual anxiety

I'm a diaper lover. I'm married. I'm a bedwetter. My wife accepts all this yet I still have anxiety when we're going to make love. I just lose interest. It's not like I don't want to satisfy my wife, I do! It's just that I feel so much more relaxed masturbating in my diapers than I do trying to satisfy her. We've tried cuddling and that's nice but I just can't seem to get my motor going without a diaper on. My wife let's me wear during sex but again I lost interest quickly and it took a long time to get things going again. I lose my boner all the time. I'm on medication, which doesn't help my erection.

I'm looking for new ideas to get me in the mood. What can I try differently? I'm willing to try almost anything at this point.

Thanks

The only thing that gets slight stiffy for me these days is my warm wet nappy when I wake in the morning. I too am a bedwetter and also DL. My diabetes robbed me of my erection and my continence years ago. . I please my woman in other ways. I love giving oral I always have. The smell of pussy used to give me a massive hard on and oral first always resulted in mind blowing sex. Now I still enjoy giving oral but it only raises some slight interest that doesn't last long enough for sex.

Diaper lover,

If you don't mind, what medication are you on that interferes with your erections? Sounds like me.

Okay, here's a potential theory I've had for years about me re sexual anxiety. I'm 64+ with a raging libido. Most of you know my kinks, primarily rubber, sneakers, enemas and D/s. Since I started loving these kinks by my early 20's, I think I've gradually become more and more dependent on the kinks or fetishes to even get an erection, let alone an orgasm. Now putting aside my other issue of antidepressant meds, I've gradually wondered over the years more and more if I really have some great subconscious fear or embarrassment about sex in general and that's why I need the kinks to stimulate me enough to even get erect or orgasm. It's along the lines of "for some deep reason I'm afraid of actually enjoying sex and heterosexual partners (straight as an arrow) so if I use a kink to stimulate me, it's as if my partner or the kink is 'making me' do the sex, so it's not really my idea." But if you ask me, I'll (I hope truthfully) tell you that I adore and thoroughly enjoy sex.

@diaperlover1973 , If you really want to please your partner, then focus on pleasing your partner. Don't focus on your penis, erect or otherwise. As @Stevewet mentioned, focus on oral, as well as the stimulation your hand can give her that you probably already do as foreplay. Don't even think about your penis or what you are going to do with it. Focus exclusively on her. Once she is satisfied, go ahead and cuddle or spoon. Tomorrow night she may well want to return the favor and masturbate you in your diaper.

I'm on a variety of mood stabilizers and anger management drugs. I have a terrible temper. I know it's the meds since this all started around the time I started taking them. Not taking them is not an option at this point.

I think I'll just forget about my penis and focus on her needs. I'll leave it stuffed in my diaper and just satisfy her needs. Thank you for the advice.

Diaper lover........,

I have pretty severe ED and difficult orgasms from antidepressant medication too. I need a great deal of physical (masturbation), mental (fantasy or partner talking) and kink (rubber, sneakers, anal) to have a partial erection or orgasm. Recently I started doing self-prostate massage with an njoy brand PureWand (stainless steel) as an alternative to regular masturbation when I really need an orgasm. If I do it right, I get intense waves of pleasure deep in the prostate and sometimes a "prostate orgasm." If you haven't done it, you might try prostate massage before or during sex with your wife to help with your orgasms. I wrote a post about how to do it if you want to see it. Good luck. The meds are sometimes necessary, like for me, but so is some sexual release. Good luck.

Eric

@ericmacson, Have you considered or tried alprostadil injections? When diabetes started to interfere with my ability to get an erection back around 2000, a urologist started me on them. They worked great for several years. The injection would cause an excellent durable erection. No worrying about getting or keeping an erection which greatly increased my staying power.

Quincy,

Thanks for the thoughtful suggestion. I've been seriously considering it for a year or so. I'm currently divorced and single, so it's a bit less of a priority than if I had a partner. I'm curious, and feel free to PM if you prefer, but did you need to inject at two spots (each corpus cavernosum) each time or just one? How long (months, years) did the drug work well, and why did it stop working (if there's a good explanation from your urologist)? My ED is longstanding from antidepressant meds, and possibly may have an element of atherosclerotic vascular disease as well. I've been reading about as many methods to treat ED as I know of, including alprostadil.

Thanks,

Eric

@ericmacson, I only injected one side, but tried to remember to alternate sides. It was effective for about eight years. Then was a period when the manufacturers in Germany were having to change their delivery system and get new FDA approval. By the time I tried injections again in 2010, it wasn't doing much for me, plump but not erect. As to why, good question. Perhaps more vascular damage from diabetes. Perhaps some damage from erections that lasted too long.

I don't know what the deal is but she has lost complete interest in sex lately. We haven't done it in over a month and anytime I bring it up or try to get it started she pushes my hand away and says she isn't in the mood and when I ask her why she says she doesn't know why. It's really aggravating because we use to have a good sex life. She says she still loves me though.

Sounds like you two need to talk with someone who you trust. there is something happening there.

It sounds like much more than "aggravation" on her end. It sounds like you both need to talk to a pysician/therapist/professional. Your wife could be experiencing a plethora of physical, mental, or emotional difficulties. Pawing at her when she isn't interested, or responding out of anger, is likely to make the situation worse. Respect her wishes and boundaries, and seek assistance. If she is unwilling to talk to a professional, go by yourself. You will not be the first person the have seen whose spouse isn't interested in sexual activity, and they can give you some pointers on how to cope, as well as listen to your partner.

She has been under a lot of stress due to her son's(from a previous relationship) health and from work over the last couple months I might add.

I've been a diabetic for about 15yrs thats when my equipment stop working due to meds then the urgo Dr. started me on tamsulosin which confinded me to diapers.I must take 1med for diabetic and the other to keep the uti's from killing me.