Can you have sex with anyone that is pleasing to you, even if they are not the prescribed gender for

Hi, I found out that I can have sex with men too! You might not be surprised but I was, even as I had a mans penis in my mouth for the first time. It took a few times and now I love it. It turns out I just love to please. Going down on women was a wonderful thing and I was proud of doing it and getting good at it. As I have a penis myself, I am rather good at going down on men as well. That makes me a sub I suppose, but I like to get aggressive once in a while too.

So, what do we do about societal obligations to be with a certain someone? Some ancient people had no problem with being with whoever. Are we evolved or are we backward? Am I a small minority?

Can you have sex with anyone that is pleasing to you, even if they are not the prescribed gender for you?

I'm the same way. I choose to see people as sexual beings. If two people have chemistry and are drawn to eachother, I don't see what gender has to do with it. As long as your both consenting adults, why not explore and enjoy eachother. What I enjoy most about being with other men, is that men have that animalistic drive and need to get off. Men don't have to get in the mood or be in the mood to get down, we just need a naked willing person. That brings an intensity to sex that women just can't match, except for maybe pornstars.

Sexuality is complex. For some it is crystal clear who they want to have sex with while others evolve over time. Sexuality is on a bi-polar spectrum (hetero to gay/lesbian). Some stay firmly planted at the poles and never move over a lifetime. Others will drift toward the middle or completely to the other pole.

The bottom line is that you should be true to yourself and not deny what your feelings are. Don't shove things under the rug because of your fear of how people may view you. If it feels right, go with it.

I am heteroflexible. I like men and SOME, very select women.

When I was younger, I had sex with many boys and men (hovering around triple digits). Some were wonderful guys and a few turned out to be douche bags.

I am much more particular with women. Women I have sex with have to be spectacular in some way. Sure, I occasionally drool over a woman who I think is gorgeous, but for me to want to have sex with them, they have to be intellectual, high achievers and people with whom I had good chemistry while we had our clothes on. People like Suze Orman, Madonna, Tammy Lynn Michaels, Eleanor Roosevelt (I know, she's dead) Jane Lynch, Amy Mainzer (my daughter's astrophysicist idol), Rachel Maddow, Sally Ride (I know, she's dead too) and a few others are the types I am attracted to.

Presently, there are two women I have sex with a few times a year--my husband knows we do it and we have his blessings.

If I am attracted to a guy and having threesome with my GF, I have no problems having sex with him. I enjoy bringing pleasure to those who I am with. My first time was with my first wife. We were having a threesome with a roommate of mine and she was sixty-nine with him. I was right in front of her watching her giving him an incredible blowjob. The site of it was such a turn on. I started kissing her face and then she pulled me over and guided my mouth to his cock. What a rush! Next thing I knew I was going down on him and sucking him to orgasm. What I thought I would never be doing turned out to be something I enjoy as often as possible. I found I just plain enjoy sex whether it is with a guy or a woman if I am turned on. My girlfriend loves watching 2 guys play with each other and when we are having a threesome she gets off if he and I are sucking each others cock and having sex. Matter of fact she will tell us outright if she is in the mood to watch. LOL If it turns her on I am game! I have come to realize it is the act of pleasing others that gives me a rush and seems to always add to the pleasures of everyone involved. Kind of a snowball effect. Why limit yourself to just the gender of the opposite sex when including both just adds to the fun!

Can you have sex with anyone that is pleasing to you, even if they are not the prescribed gender for you?

I am happily married to a great guy and I have also been in a long term relationship with a woman as well. For the longest time those were the only two people with which I've had sexual relations. According to this site, that makes me heteroflexible and it is a term that I think says it all.

I think "heteroflexible" is a very good term. I say this because my husband and I have recently started exploring with some long term friends of ours. We started out with being naked with each other, and that lent itself to sexual scenarios. My husband is strictly heterosexual but doesn't have any problem with being around the other two husbands. He just does not want to be touched by them. No wiggle room on that, none whatsoever and I tease him about being a party pooper. He threatens to spank me and I tell him I might like that.

It's an entirely different story with my two women friends. This is where the "flexible" part makes heteroflexible so appropriate. Both of my women friends are pleasing to me on so many different levels. Intellectually, socially, their outlook on life, and their thoughts, feelings, and senses of humor, are very pleasing to me. Taking it that extra step and having them please me, and me them, sexually, feels natural.

So, yes, I think you can have sex with anyone that is pleasing to you. It has to be a two way street to work, but it does work with the right people.

I have only had sex with men until last year I had my first kiss with a female. I feel that most of the time I am attracted to men so I tend to identify as heterosexual. However there are a few women I am very attracted to but I have not really gone anywhere with those feelings. I would in the future but I do not feel I can identify as bisexual until I am more experienced and sure of my feelings.

I had always been attracted to both sexes, but men more than women. That being said, I went with the societal norm and dated only women and married a woman. We were married a few years before I even told her about my attraction to men. We are still married and I would never do anything to break that up, however if something would happen, I can't say that I wouldn't date a man or at least have fun with them. As far as societal obligations, there will always be someone who doesn't like something that you do. You need to do what you feel is right and forget about making everyone happy, it will never happen.

I have had sex with women but there has always been another man with us.

Absolutely. I am not by nature turned on by men but some of the most passionate sex I have had have been with men. Go figure.

I'm bi and actually prefer women. I am shy around a woman I like. I get awkward.

I like guys so nope. I've had a somewhat similar discussion with my daughter.

She is looking at either sex as a partner (she has a specific term for her gender approach, I just don't remember it). She is leaving her options open. I usually counter that I have boobs so don't want any more. I like cocks and manly bits.

I'm not knocking what others do. Enjoy whom ever makes you cum or very happy. It just isn't for me.

Yes but there are so many labels!

Well, that's great that you found out you can enjoy sex with any gender. Societal obligations are certainly breaking down as being LGBT is much more acceptable these days, although there's still a long way to go.

Can you have sex with anyone that is pleasing to you, even if they are not the prescribed gender for you?

As for this - it's an invalid question. I haven't been prescribed a gender for me, but I am strictly heterosexual. So I can have sex with anyone pleasing to me... but the only people pleasing to me will be female.

I'll chime in with an additional point to the one I made below in 2016.

I think getting married and promising to be monogamous for the rest of your life to the person you marry is.... well not very practical. So much importance and wrong doing is placed on sex outside the marriage- it leads to families breaking up and leaving both parties financially depleted. And here is the point I want to make. If one of the parties in the marriage becomes emotionally involved with another person and wants to leave their marriage for that person, then yes that is destructive to the marriage and does great harm. But if either in the marriage have causal sex and it amounts to an afternoon of pleasure and has no more significance than going out to lunch with a friend, then it really has no significance on the marriage. A good lunch combined with good orgasms- done and move on.

I think about half of all marriages fail and the reasons are many as to why they do. But just because you want to have sex with someone else for fun and pleasure is not reason enough to blowup a marriage. The person you come home to is still the most significant person in your life even if you got naked with someone else and had fun.

So this sounds like an open marriage and if both parties know this from the start then it works, but if someone feels betrayed then it doesn't. Sex for just a physical release has a very short lifespan. Emotional love can and hopefully should last a lifetime.

Nope. Only women - and that would be my wife.

Very interesting and illuminating. The responses are fascinating from both men and women. Thank you!

Guess I was more than naive because I was a virgin when I graduated from high school, had sex with a wanna be stud the last day of my freshman in college, met a guy I was destined to marry, he dumped me, then married a loser. (Long story there)

After my divorce, I met a woman 30 years my senior and did she ever rock my world. Though the relationship lasted only one year, my outlook on a relationship with both sexes was changed forever. I am very married and play a one man game, I do however have a special friend, yes we enjoy each other, but because she is a nurse wonder if I will ever see her again because of convid-19.

Yes why not. While I was still in a male body, I have been with man and woman, but with man it was more experimental, since I thought I was gay. But it turned out I was looking in the wrong direction.

However, right when I started my transition to female, now 5.5 years ago, I stopped having sex with either, except with my toys. About 3 months ago I had sex with a man again, 2.5 years after my surgery. And I am legally female, so this is considered straight sex.

But yeah, I don't care if I have sex with either, my hands, mouth and body will adopt to whatever is in between someone's legs.

I do experience everything as a woman (trans woman)

You can most definitely have sex with anyone who is pleasing to you in any way you like, as often as you want it.

There's a real danger today with Covid-19 but you can take precautions about any risks there might be with meeting someone. Get talking with them and before long you may get exactly what you want

I would, I have and enjoyed it. I never considered myself bisexual, I always considered it as something that just came along once in awhile and enjoyed it

A warm welcome to Zity @asha22. Best place of it kind in the universe.

I think if your attracted to someone same or opposite gender you should explore where or if it could go somewhere. Now I've been primarily attracted to males, but I'm open to anything really, I have yet to meet a woman I'm sexually attracted to, but never say never. I do admire a beautiful woman, but I'm usually attracted to personality more than looks. As proof of that I married Quasimodo. ? . Anyway , why would you want to limit yourself, go with how you feel and enjoy the ride we have on this crazy rock.

WG

I am very glad that you were able to realize this and accept 😃 it is great to be yourself!

I remember when I first started dating a guy. This was back in junior high school. I dated this same guy through college. I did not tell him that I had been with other girls until he moved in with me after college. It was just something I stayed hush hush about. After I learned about masturbation from my sister I had to show my best friend. We would touch and finger but it was just experimenting. Then when I gave up my virginity to my boyfriend I was disappointed. I thought it was going to be more. Like fireworks. Sadly not so. Once my hymen broke and he got in me he came. I wanted more. I wanted to orgasm but nope, he was done. Then the roommate and I had a small party with some guys we knew had alcohol. Neither of us were attracted to any of the guys. I was attracted to her and the same with her. We got drunk and started telling the guys that we were lesbians. Just to get rid of them. We didn't want them sleeping over. Of course, they asked if they could watch and we said no. They then stated that they did not believe us. So we started kissing. The guys decided they were not going to see anymore and left, That is when my roommate started undressing me and we had sex the rest of the night. That was the first time I had gone all the way with another girl. It opened my eyes for sure. So yes you can have sex with anyone who is pleasing to you. At least I think so.

No, not at all.

While I enjoy sex, pleasing, and being pleased.

Without knowing the sexual history, and not knowing if a person has had or has an STD, I'm just not willing to take that kind of chance.

If I were to meet someone that we would mutually like to be intimate, then it would be time to prove to each other that we are clean, by way of testing, followed by a medical report.

I know that seems like a lot to do, but in the end - don't you think being safe with one another is worth it.

Besides, with not having to worry about sexual cleanliness removes doubt and then allows you to enjoy the eroticism at hand, or mouth, or various other parts.

Sure if you have a connection with someone and they are into it then go for it . Why pass up a pleasurable experience.Enjoy

No. I am only wired for women. In high school at about 14 i stayed over a friends house and after his parents went to bed he suggested we masturbate together and took off his paJama bottoms exposing his small penis and started to. He kept motioning to me to do the same and when I would not he tried to touch me and then to pull them down himself. I said don’t touch me again or I wake everyone in the house up. I didn’t sleep at all and as soon as the sun came up I rode my bike home and never talked to him again. It is still a complete turn off in my mind.

This is as loaded question. Since "joining" the BDSM community I can play with either gender because to me it is about giving or receiving pleasure. At least in my mind.

As far as actual sex, personally a real connection must be head for me. Throughout my life the less than a handful of one night stands I had left me feeling yuck. And never ventured into them after the few.

So to this day, casual sex is not on my plate more bucket list.

With BDSM I STILL must have a good connection, otherwise it just leave me cold. Once I know a person, yes I can play with either sex. But no genital to genital, genital to mouth, mouth to mouth, mouth to ass, or any other combination. I will be use toys to pleasure someone in a dungeon setting, be it male or female.

So personally, no sex.

I’m primarily attracted to men romantically and sexually however I am sexually attracted to women as well and will/have played with them sexually.