Does cultural repression of sexuality cause individual sexual expression to be uncontrollable?

I was not born in USA but i do not ever have memories of living anywhere else. By the time I was almost 4 years old my father died and my mother decided to take me the only child with her as she almost immediately emigrated to USA and she did this to be with her female cousin who had done the same but during her late teens. The two women were close in age and had always been best friends. We of course lived in the same community as she had been and this was an almost communal type of culture however the caveat being that what bonded everyone there was their strict and some might say insane adherence to an esoteric sect of christianity. In public in the commune sexuality was repressed to nothing less than the most extreme forbiddance of anything remotely sexual.

It is because of that cultural repression i believe i had an almost constant string of what i believe are bizarre and unique sexual related experiences all through childhood until i moved at 18.

Does cultural repression of sexuality cause individual sexual expression to be uncontrollable?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

In public in the commune sexuality was repressed to nothing less than the most extreme forbiddance of anything remotely sexual.

Let's give a new member a bit of latitude with their first posts. The above quote from the post seems to more effectively reflect what Gilles is trying to explain. At least that is my understanding and immediate feel.

I'm sure we'll read more. I am especially intrigued in that I too was not born in the US and only moved there when I was 3, after my Dad came back from Korea. However we didn't join anything esoteric or communal. Just went to live in the suburbs, late Norman Rockwell style. As la-dee-dah as can be as Annie Hall might say ... 😃

Anyway, I'd really like to hear more, how sexuality ended up being expressed and experienced in this particular communal situation.

this was an almost communal type of culture however the caveat being that what bonded everyone there was their strict and some might say insane adherence to an esoteric sect of christianity. In public in the commune sexuality was repressed to nothing less than the most extreme forbiddance of anything remotely sexual.

It is because of that cultural repression i believe i had an almost constant string of what i believe are bizarre and unique sexual related experiences all through childhood.

this sounds so freaking familiar, this is how I was raised as well, and can relate to it 100%.

ABSOLUTELY NOT

You make a good point.

Let's give a new member a bit of latitude with their first posts.

. . .

Anyway, I'd really like to hear more, how sexuality ended up being expressed and experienced in this particular communal situation.

Thank you and I had a feeling this would be a generally good community here at zity so I'm glad you were able to prove my intuition as correct.

My earliest memories almost all involve my mother's cousin who was called Michelle and I have realized she chose the community she did for a reason and the fact that wealth was there actually just happened to be a side benefit. I remember her always being particularly micromanagerial however she had her way of being as such while still not just maintaining but paradoxically indeed enhancing her sexual and overall attractiveness to much more than i ever was able to realize as a growing boy for many years. One of my earliest memories involves my helping her with her personal hygiene.

this sounds so freaking familiar, this is how I was raised as well, and can relate to it 100%.

I'm glad I'm not the only one. It's funny because I've always imagined telling friends or partners every thing I experienced as a child then teenager and the only real thing that has kept me from opening up to them about it is all I can imagine is me telling and then they try to console me and say how terrible it must have been but I actually really just feel indifferent about all of that. on one hand it fed or created my sexual interests but also i love that i'm not just plain vanilla sexually and i can't help think back to my younger experiences and still get so crazy turned on now because it's just so hot to remember.

I can imagine is me telling and then they try to console me and say how terrible it must have been

also i love that i'm not just plain vanilla sexually and i can't help think back to my younger experiences and still get so crazy turned on now because it's just so hot to remember.

Yes, yes, yes ... I can understand that so easily.

Good for you for taking what was given you and using it for yourself. Since many of us here have particular fetishes and kinks that go beyond the vanilla (even beyond vanilla with sprinkles on top) I'm sure they can relate too. All of these thoughts, urges, desires and fantasies we have are part of our character for better or worse and the best thing to do is make sure it is for the better, with no regrets.

Does cultural repression of sexuality cause individual sexual expression to be uncontrollable?

It is because of that cultural repression i believe i had an almost constant string of what i believe are bizarre and unique sexual related experiences all through childhood until i moved at 18. [/quote]

What you describe is your own personal experience in the matter and cannot be generally applied. Cultural repression of sexuality has nothing to do with people not being able to control their sexuality.

The idea that cultural repression of sexuality causes people to be unable to control the expression of their own sexuality is totally flawed.

The idea that cultural repression of sexuality causes people to be unable to control the expression of their own sexuality is totally flawed.

I think this should be read not especially as 'cultural repression', but as 'group repression'. Because if a person is living in a small, tightly-knit group of people in communal circumstances, that means that everyone will be watching everyone else virtually constantly, with no respite from the spying, tattle-tailing, gossiping and pulling rank/seniority. You probably won't even have any opportunities to express your sexuality in a personal way, meaning you won't be able/allowed to do what you wish sexually (or in other manners either).

That is one of the basic dynamics of communal living, especially if it is hierarchical and/or religious in nature. There is constant surveillance to make sure no one deviates from the accepted group norms and practices. The group ends up controlling you, you do not control yourself or your range of choices anymore,

In any case, I'd like to read more to get a better idea of the story.

I think this should be read not especially as 'cultural repression', but as 'group repression'. . . .

I was directly quoting the original poster's words. I did not want to bastardize or change any intent he had in his post.

I took what he said at face value which is what should be done more often.

I am not a mind reader and accepted what he said is what he meant.

I think this should be read not especially as 'cultural repression', but as 'group repression'.

or a combination of both I felt I was a victim of both "cultural" and "group" repression for the longest time when I was young till my teens. Don't know how @Gailleschateau's situstion might have been but I do find it very similar to my own.



What you describe is your own personal experience in the matter and cannot be generally applied. Cultural repression of sexuality has nothing to do with people not being able to control their sexuality.

The idea that cultural repression of sexuality causes people to be unable to control the expression of their own sexuality is totally flawed.

Thank you for presenting me with the opposing opinion so this can be explored further. Not only that but you are rhetorically correct in your approach and to explain I mean by my statement of a thing exists the responsibility of proving the truth is mine and not yours. Your correct approach has challenged me to remember the method brought to us by Socrates so to better define our discussion I will specify that what I am contending exactly is that there is not only correlational bondage between an individual's culture and her ability to control her own sexual expression but even more than that in the relationship is truly cause and effect.

Now, to clear up what I am understanding was a misread of my original hypothesis wording... My own personal experiences with sexuality are actually fairly useless materially simply due to the fact that my own sexuality from prepubesence through adolesence was actually quite opposed to repressed as I was although not by my own volition given such an amplitude of sexual bandwidth in various and slightly differing circumstances more frequently than not a situation thrust upon me but still virtually useless per my rhetoric here.

Rather then I must rely on what allowed me to create the hypothesis in the first place which wasn't my own personal experience but the anecdotal experiences of those who I was fortunate enough to see express themselves sexually to me in bizarre yet conversely beautiful ways to me although always tragic because despite their steadfast and often nothing less than heroic efforts to continue in themselves what the community so coldly and cruelly jailed them by means of sexual repression and conformity they would always individually succumb to the sexual requirements defining their very beings. But it was according to my hypothesis precisely that extremely strong and persistent attempt at controlling and strangling their own sexual desires to death why I was able to see these beautiful human beings as exactly how they didn't want to ever see themselves... and that is who they truly were or at least who they truly were sexually, and it still is to this day fantastically marvelous to me. But I know that they did not control in any way that aspect of themselves.

I would like to say at this point that since i was in these situations with very little to no control over the situation i took what only opportunity i felt i had left to attempt to 'own' my sexuality. I would during my childhood and through my 18 year birthday participate in almost everything expected or requested of me except for engaging in PIV sexual intercourse. It wasnt until after 18 years and attending college after moving out of the community where i actually lost what i consider my virginity.

Wow that's some deep thoughts, you poor boy you, looks like you had it even tougher than me growing up. But there is some sisimilarities in after all.

you poor boy you, looks like you had it even tougher than me growing up. But there is some sisimilarities in after all.

Well, in a way he might have had it sexually better than some of us.

Yes, he said no PiV sex till after 18, but with me that was after 21. And honestly, except for solo sex, I didn't experience much of anything either until I was 21. No girlfriends, no petting, handjobs nor blowjobs, not even any tongue kissing. My sexual experiences before 21 were reading, fantasizing and masturbating ...

So perhaps Gilles had some very creative and unusual experiences, and if so, no wonder he has no regrets.

@agracier

You might be right, but still not the best sitation. Put it as you may.

You might be right, but still not the best sitation. Put it as you may.

You are of course correct about the communal, forced living together and being controlled situation. I doubt I could have adapted to that, ever.

Good thing is, after reaching 18 I was given a lilttle more freedom,

At this point in our discussions i must say the conversation has made me truly apprececiate what can only be a genetic quality of precosiousness, a quality which gifted me tge important things such as the fact that legally the community had zero control over my free will once i was 18 years of age and therefore exactly why i met comparatively little resistance as long as i was consistent in my desire to leave and attend college, but also the gift of knowledge of psychology and physiology while still in the commune that impresses myself because although information was quite strictly limited i soon learned who was the best community member to ask which question i had.... and by knowing how to do that i could begin to make sense of not only what was being done to me in terms of anatomy but also why i simulataneously both felt great pleasure and reservation, and then even understanding the beginnings of why it was being done. This also makes me realize now in this moment that Michelle, who was a very intelligent woman must have stopped her own physical manipulations of me in the sense that she early on understood i would have the capacity at some point to understand exactly what is was she was doing.