Switch used on bare legs

because even a carefully and lovingly tanned and/or striped bottom might land mom and/or dad in jail.

I can not conceive how the the word ‘lovingly’ can be connected with striping a child's bottom. Such punishment is even banned from the military. Why then should parents be allowed to inflict it on underage children?

My kids are NOT happy about spanking being taboo now-a-days. They know that properly administered traditional discipline has been very effective in raising generations of successful well-adjusted families.

As if there aren't countless hundreds of millions of families around the world who raise well-adjusted children without having to resort to inflicting corporal punishment and bodily harm to children. They can do so. Why not others?

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I can not conceive how the the word ‘lovingly’ can be connected with striping a child's bottom. Such punishment is even banned from the military. Why then should parents be allowed to inflict it on underage children?

@agracier

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Please tell me that you understand, that when corproral punishment was (and still is, in some countries) used as military discipline, it was/is MUCH more severe than a proper spanking for the purpose of child rearing? After a military or judicial caning, the recipient of the punishment often required/requires medical attention. Nobody in their right mind thinks that a father should restrain his 10.y.o. son onto a Singapore-style military/judicial caning trellis, to receive 20, 30, or 40 cuts with a 5-foot rattan or bamboo that will rip into his flesh! You always describe spanking with words/phrases like “beating”, “violence”, “abuse”, etc. Four, six, eight, or even ten “stripes”, properly administered with a flick of the wrist, across a child's bottom, with a 0.25-inch diameter 18-inch switch (cut from an Apple tree, for example), will not inflict physical injury upon the child. A red/sore butt that is no longer red/sore after a few hours (no bruises) is NOT an example of “bodily harm”. It is a message that teaches the child to behave!

I understand that very few parents (now-a-days) have any understanding of how to administer a proper and effective spanking (calmly, carefully, and lovingly). It is NOT okay to say that a parent who angrily beats his/her child's body with a 3-foot rubber hose, or punches a child in the face or stomach, is “spanking” that child. There is NO similarity whatsoever between abusive physical violence against a child and self-controlled disciplinary swats to child's butt. It really shouldn't be difficult to understand the difference.

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As if there aren't countless hundreds of millions of families around the world who raise well-adjusted children without having to resort to inflicting corporal punishment and bodily harm to children. They can do so. Why not others?

@agracier

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Do you really/seriously believe that there are hundreds of millions of families (there are only about 8B people on the planet) that successfully raise well-adjusted children without EVER giving ANY of the children at least an occasional spank on the seat of their pants? This is one of your other strategies for arguing that spanking is always unnecessary and abusive. You argue against spanking by saying that there are so many other approaches which spanking parents are too lazy to utilize. You seem to suggest that there are two mutually exclusive categories… 1> good parents who never never never spank, and 2> bad parents who always and only spank (never utilize any other techniques for training their children). This, of course, is absurd. The vast majority of parents obviously utilize all of the disciplinary techniques that “non-spankers” utilize, but also acknowledge a place for a proper spanking, when necessary. It is also simply a TRUE FACT that the vast majority of parents who say they are against spanking (who say that they never have spanked and never will spank) are either lying about having supposedly not already spanked when necessary, and/or are engaged in wishful thinking regarding the future. Just go around asking everybody you know (of all ages), “Were you EVER (even if only on one or a few occasions) given a spanking when you were growing up?” You will find that it will be difficult to find very many who will say, “I was NEVER spanked growing up… not even once!”

Are there children that do not respond well to spanking? Of course. Are there children who respond very well to spanking? Yes. The most important thing is for parents to KNOW their children and discipline accordingly, with outcome-based self-control. And, if/when spanking is necessary, to know HOW to spank properly.

Four, six, eight, or even ten “stripes”, properly administered with a flick of the wrist, across a child's bottom, with a 0.25-inch diameter 18-inch switch (cut from an Apple tree, for example), will not inflict physical injury upon the child.

I find the attention given to minutiae of child punishment very troubling to read.

Playing with adults in such a manner can of course be fun and arousing, but when such kind of attention is focused on a child, then boundaries are being crossed and all that a child learns is that might makes right and that committing violence against a weaker person (or animal) is justified.

Do you really/seriously believe that there are hundreds of millions of families (there are only about 8B people on the planet) that successfully raise well-adjusted children without EVER giving ANY of the children at least an occasional spank on the seat of their pants?

You know very well that the occasional swat is not the same as striping a child's bottom.

I never experienced this growing up, but I remember my mother saying that her mother had punished her and her siblings in this way. She described it as being pretty severe. I remember one time she said, “I guess I was abused”, this was in the late 70's when people were beginning to question corporal punishment. I remember thinking, “What about me?!” (This from a woman who didn't hesitate to spank, or have my father spank me.) A bare bottom strapping sure sounded more severe than some switch on the legs!

Oh, and yes, her mother grew up in Kentucky – so there was a southern connection.

Not often, but I got the switch on my bare legs on more than one occasion. Denise

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I find the attention given to minutiae of child punishment very troubling to read.

@agracier

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The “attention given to minutiae” was strictly and ONLY for the purpose of correcting the impression that you impart (basically, that all parents/adults, who believe in even moderate use of corporal punishment, are evil, out of control, physically abusive, sexually motivated, monsters who do not really love their children). When I read your arguments against corporal punishment in child rearing, you clearly give the impression that every spanking always involves a sexually motivated and violent loss of self-control, always involves the vicious and malicious use of implements with extreme/dangerous force, and always involves bodily injury/harm (bruises, etc). In fact, a proper self-controlled spanking NEVER involves ANY of the physically abusive violence that you imply is always inherent.

You readily admit that you cannot possibly imagine a loving parent utilizing self-controlled corporal punishment (a spanking) as even ONE of many tools for training a child. I think this is what bothers me, because I know that my grandparents loved my parents, I know that my parents loved me and my siblings, and I know that I loved (and still love) my children (now in their 30's, with kids of their own) more than I love my own life! (And, by the way, my kids love me, and remember me as a strict-but-fair father who raised them to become well-adjusted successful husbands/fathers and wives/mothers). I also KNOW that lovingly disciplining children is a parent's responsibility, and even a careful and self-controlled spanking (when appropriate) is one example of such loving discipline.

If all you were saying was that you believe that it should ideally be possible to raise self-disciplined children (into well-adjusted adults) without ever swating a butt, I would probably actually agree with you. But, that is never the extent of your commentary. You always take it at least one step further. You conflagrate what has traditionally and universally been accepted as “proper” spankings with out-of-control violent physical abuse. Based largely on this conflagration, you question the effectiveness of spanking, which is clearly effective when PROPERLY (carefully, moderately, and lovingly) administered. And, you question parents' motives, and the authenticity of their love for their children, if they sometimes choose/determine, under certain circumstances, that a proper spanking is the best approach for correcting their children's behavior.

Switches used to be very common, as they are biblical “rods”, and I think the preparation of a switch makes it inevitable that the parent has to be deliberate and not just angry. That being said I never got spanked with a switch. Any friend of mine that did was usually quite sure it was the worst thing to be spanked with. My mom got switched on her legs, and said it was awful. I think it was common for girls to get switched on their legs because of modesty, where their panties would be left up, while boys usually got underwear pulled down and got it on their bottoms. This is all anecdotal though, but I have had hundreds of spanking conversations.

I got a switching (I assume that is what you call the diabolical punishment.) when I was 14, staying with my puritanical grandmother in Western Maryland. My dad had won a trip to Europe. I sure wish my parents had taken me with them, My sister Amy and I were staying with my grandparents. The school had called to inform me that I had been accepted to the honors program. Good right? Wrong! I had gone down to the beach with explicit instructions not to leave the beach area. My grandmother came down to the beach area with the good news only to find me not there. A girl, who didn't like me because I was the new girl on the block, informed her that I went for a walk with Billy Murphy. My grandmother came looking for me and found me in Billy's front yard. When I saw her I knew I was in for it as she gave me that same look Daddy does when he is mad. When we got back to the house she cut a switch for a tree in the front yard and switched me right in the front year. How I howled and danced! I had no idea that a switch could sting like that!

While all the cuts weren't on my bare legs, enough were to make me plead that time of the month and not swim and wear Bermudes the rest of my stay there.

@ddell2 So, to some extent, it would have been better to switch you on the bare behind, because at least the stripes would be hidden?

@ddell2 So, to some extent, it would have been better to switch you on the bare behind, because at least the stripes would be hidden?

I can appreciate that but that is the way is was.

Before we moved north, I spent my early childhood in Louisiana. We had a bunch of switch cane bamboo growing nearby and mom always seemed to have a fresh one whenever we acted up!

I got a switching (I assume that is what you call the diabolical punishment.) when I was 14, staying with my puritanical grandmother in Western Maryland. My dad had won a trip to Europe. I sure wish my parents had taken me with them, My sister Amy and I were staying with my grandparents. The school had called to inform me that I had been accepted to the honors program. Good right? Wrong! I had gone down to the beach with explicit instructions not to leave the beach area. My grandmother came down to the beach area with the good news only to find me not there. A girl, who didn't like me because I was the new girl on the block, informed her that I went for a walk with Billy Murphy. My grandmother came looking for me and found me in Billy's front yard. When I saw her I knew I was in for it as she gave me that same look Daddy does when he is mad. When we got back to the house she cut a switch for a tree in the front yard and switched me right in the front year. How I howled and danced! I had no idea that a switch could sting like that!

While all the cuts weren't on my bare legs, enough were to make me plead that time of the month and not swim and wear Bermudes the rest of my stay there.

She should have praised you for being accepted into the honor's program. Obviously you were smart enough to take care of yourself!

A switch is horrible on bare legs. Not only does it sting like bees stinging you but it leaves red welts on your legs. The worse part is the welts and pain will go away but the red marks usually stays a day or two after.

Bare legs and butt also by granny..

One of the worst switchings I ever got was from my Granny. When she said “Go cut me a Switch” she meant it. And you better not come back with some limp wimpy switch or she'd go get one that meant business. We were usually on our best behavior at Granny and Grandpas house in Groveland Fla.

My father never used a switch or hairbrush or ruler. He always used a thick, 1+1/2 inch wide leather belt, usually doubled up. Once in awhile the belt would be full length and would wrap around. On at least 2 occasions that I recall, I was hit by the swinging buckle. Always I was first told to "go up to your room, get undressed and wait for me." I would wait in dreaded anticipation for up to an hour sometimes.

Though he was an ex-boxer and extremely strong, the welts, mostly on my buttocks, seldom lasted longer than 3 or 4 days. . He beat me until I was screaming and running around the room in circles... and he was completely out of breath.

The beatings began when I was about 4, caused me to begin running away from home when I was 6. Between 8 and 12 I ran away often but seldom stayed away longer than a couple of days. At 12 I hitch-hiked to Chicago from a northwest suburb. I was waiting in the bus depot when a cop arrested me and I spent months in a juvenile detention center in Waukegan. I was 13 when I got out and the next time I ran it was by bicycle and I was gone for a couple of months. The next time I was still 13 and I got to NYC where I lived for over a year.

I was back in his house (he had a new wife and her 3 kids lived with us too, in Connecticut) when I was 18, I had gone back so I could finish school and graduate. He had the audacity to come at me with a fist and I defended myself. He fell down a flight of stairs, tore one Achille's tendon which bothered him for years. For the rest of his life he lied about how he tore that tendon! But he never physically attacked me again and I was always the one he called upon when he needed help with anything serious such as hospitalization, handling the escapades of his ex-wives, etc.

Meanwhile I have raised 3 daughters and, for a couple of years, a stepson. All but one are adults now - the youngest is 20 and recently dropped out of college to pursue a career in stage craft. I don't believe in spanking... although I potched my middle daughter one swat on her tukkos one time at a Walmart's in Texas because she had been acting up for 30 minutes, creating a serious disturbance. The folks around actually applauded when I did so and she calmed immediately. They also warned me than in Texas parents could get arrested for doing what I had done - in spite of the fact that at the time (and to this day) teachers and school administrators are allowed to use corporal punishment on their students! By the way, both of my oldest daughters are social workers within the public school system. One of them has chosen to never have children, the other produced 2 daughters who have never been spanked and, at 8 and 11 are the smartest, best behaved kids I have ever seen!

I NEVER HAD TO PUNISH any of my children other than that one potch in Walmarts and I only gave time outs once each to all 3. I taught them all that they OWN the space around their bodies and that NOBODY has the right to invade that space to touch them (including their parents) without their specific permission. I am a retired Naturopathic Physician and Social Worker professionally and a Dominant who was very active in the BDSM community where I lived much of My adult life... and I do believe that, with very few unusual exceptions it is never necessary to use any form of corporal punishment on a child or teenage person. Mutual respect and communication are the tools most effective in the raising of children to become stand-up, honest and sensitive adults.

@agracier - Nettles grow wild all over North America. I gathered Stinging Nettles in Texas, Kentucky, West Virginia, New York and parts of Illinois to make medicine that is especially good for Urinary Tract Infections... and by the way it is still commonly used among the BDSM communities in North America and England for corporal punishment... as the stinging sensation can last for a wonderfully long time.

@RPM I NEVER HAD TO PUNISH any of my children other than that one potch in Walmarts and I only gave time outs once each to all 3. I taught them all that they OWN the space around their bodies and that NOBODY has the right to invade that space to touch them (including their parents)

Good to hear to that your bad experiences with spanking growing up didn't perpetuate the practice into your own adulthood on your kids. That is a far more responsible conclusion to draw than the otherwise so prevalently heard ‘it made me into the person I am today’ …

Never had the switch, either on the bottom or the legs! Though heard a girl called Becky get one (see post) and it sounded absolutely awful! I can only imagine that a switching on the bare legs must ‘hurt like you cannot believe’! It must be excruciatingly painful enough on the bare behind! But on the legs…

I was given a real thrashing across the back of my legs with 2 branches by my partner for inappropriate attire - its probably the most painful punishment i've had. x

She should have praised you for being accepted into the honor's program. Obviously you were smart enough to take care of yourself!

We didn't see see eye to eye with my grandmother on many things. It was big city girls vs. small town type of thing. She was a hell's fire and brimstone religious type. She wouldn't my sister not I to wear bikini bathing suits, which were commonplace back in Dallas. We wanted to stay with our mother's sister in California but she had something going on the two weeks that our parents were gone. However, I should have known not to disobey her because she switched my sister Amy during one of the first days we were there.