Enema Sadness

I have been giving my wife enemas for many years (and she to me), and I have always enjoyed the preparations; getting out the bag and supplies, setting up the massage table with clean towels and a pillow, adjusting the pole we use to hang the bag, and setting out the cushions we use for supporting the legs in a comfortable position, filling the bag and hanging it up, and helping her onto the table.

My favorite part is putting her in the sims position, lubing her anus with Vaseline and the large nozzle with KY. Then spreading her cheeks widely with my fingers and easing the nozzle in until it is swallowed up by the rectum. All of this gives me a lot of pleasure and inevitably a stiff erection.

Yesterday, after I lubed the nozzle, she said she would like to insert the nozzle herself. Why, I asked. Just easier, she said. I argued a bit, but handed her the nozzle and it disappeared under the blanket. I proceeded to fill her in the slow method, timed with her breathing that we had worked out over the years.

I hope this doesn't become the norm in the future and I will talk with her gently about it.

It just made me a little sad.

If it makes you feel any better, you're justified in your sadness.....but tomorrow's another day.

the boxcar

At least you get to share your enemas with your wife- I would venture to guess most of the married men here don't, including me.

Given that your wife is into enemas, you can probably have an open conversation about how you like to do them and how she likes to receive them.

This issue you are having, I think could easily be overcome with a conversation probably when you are not doing enemas.

In your case you should keep reminding yourself the bag is half full 😃

In your wife's mind, were you giving her the enema ostensibly for a health reason or solely for sexual gratification and stimulation. If the former, she may not identify with your desire, as she likely would in the latter case.

From your description, it sounds like you are accustomed to doing everything from setting up the table, to getting towels and pillows, to getting and filling the enema gear. And doing all this your way. So one time she wants to insert the nozzle herself, do this one little thing, and you get all bent out of shape about it.

Sounds to like you and she may need an open discussion about roles and desires. If you are doing everything, she may feel like she has almost no role in the effort.

Since you have a relationship that includes enemas hopefully if you share with her how much pleasure you get from inserting the nozzle she'll let you do it again.

Thank you all for the help. I WAS completely misreading the situation and she DOES prefer me inserting the nozzle and doing everything for her - and she same for me. She thought she was being selfish. We are normally very open about things, but I have tread very lightly on the subject of enemas, not wanting to spoil a good thing. I am now open with her that I do enjoy the giving and receiving of enemas and that it arouses me sexually (it had been pretty obvious in the past - hard to miss a raging erection). She has not said as much to me, but she will still initiate an enema session, and I will continue to be honest and open. I KNOW there is an erotic or at least a sensual or intimate aspect for her. But, if she doesn't want to say it out loud, that's ok with me.

The person GETTING the enema NEEDS TO be an active participant in the whole process. from choosing the time, and place in the house to gathering the supplies and equipment, to setting up the bed or table, to getting into position.

When you are crossing a gender line, unless the motives ARE purely and exclusively sexual, it is better to let the receiver do the insertion, and valve opening.

Cooperation is ABSOLUTELY CRITICAL to success.

Gee John,

I don't see a problem. While I love relaxing and having my lady insert, I also like the opportunity to do it myself on occasion. It's the variety, I guess.

When I'm with a play patient, we will insert and remove and reinsert several times. She does some while I watch closely and I do some while she describes the sensation.

Maybe she enjoys inserting when alone and you haven't been aware.