A Dick Looks Like a Cofee Brick

My neibourgh a coffee-addict Phil is a nice guy but he used to steal in the neiboughring grocery stores. he would just come up to a shelf, slip a grounded 8.8oz coffe brick into his pocket and matter-of-factly goes through the door. there is no denying that something is bulging around his pocket area when he goes by the checkout. but Phil always gets away with it. Once i dropped by in there to pick out some liquors and was watching the following scene- a women in cassual dress comes up to Phil and says that her name is Rita and she's the head of security of the supermarket chain: "would you mind as to show me what is bulging around your left pocket?" Phil: 'Ok, but won't you accept it as an abuse? I've recently used my bathmate and I have 10 inches in girth now". Rita workes up a sweat and apologizes. Later he told me that this excuse is always working