What have we really got here?

At first I assumed that ABs and diaper wearers were paraphiliacs.

But then I took the trouble to read your many bios and your numerous postings. I detect very little evidence of sexual thrill. Most of you speak of comfort and warmth and things of that ilk.

And yet I see constant reference in the literature of psychology to these proclivities as paraphilias. And paraphilias are defined as sexual satisfactions derived from non-procratorial activities.

So please, if your pleasures and pursuit of this comes from sexually derived excitement, let us know.

Or, if they comes instead from early imprinting which has left a permanent non-sexual desire, let us know that.

Neither answer would make you anything less than good people admirably dealing with the intersection of desires and the mores of society; something we all do in one way or another.

And rare though this interest may be, unlike many other paraphiliacs, ABs and diaper wearers appear to inflict no harm on others nor cause much more than the occasional raised eyebrow.

Can you please rewrite your question? I can't for the life of me understand what your question is.

Sure. Reduced to its essence...

Do you think the AB fetish and the diaper fetish is a SEXUAL fetish or is it rather a fetish driven by NON-EROTIC feelings such as warmth, safety or comfort?

The reading I do on Z says their roots are in the comforts of childhood.

The reading I do elsewhere has psychiatrists saying the roots of these fetishes are in sex.

I have my doubts about the psychiatrists' version. After reading Zity I think the psychs are seeing sex where it is not.

Blitheben, If you believe anything a Psychiatrist tells you then you are in deep trouble. The whole field is full of BS artists milking insurance to keep money coming in. They can find a diagnosis in a bucket of shit.

Hey Ben, our dear Freud has had a lot of his original debunked, but he still is the man

Didn't say I believe them. In fact, I have deep suspicion they are often on the wrong track, or on no track at all.

Some thing like lawyers. Most can drive you nuts, especially if they represent the opposition. But some are very helpful, especially if they represent your side.

But we still have the question, are ABs and diaper wearers motivated by sex or by some other pleasing drive?

Freud had his amusing errors. He had a follower, Wilhelm Reich, the inventor (though he said, "discoverer") of orgone energy which i think was the energy of orgasm. Reich spent some time teaching women to masturbate. Talk about bringing coals to Newcastle.

I am not an expert or even well versed on the subject but I rather think that competent psychology has departed almost entirely from Siggy Freud.

Mine is driven by 40 years of incontinence.

Just trying to have some fun and find a way to deal with my condition.

I feel that both Sigmund Freud And Wilhelm Steckel were both full of sit.(pardon the language the pun). I have never had any sexual urges for my mom and according to Steckel infantism is the cause of too much mothering and I feel it is just the opposite. This just my opinion.

Now that, jhenson, is, even for a blockhead like me, a very understandable third type of answer; start with a physiological problem and adapt - makes sense to me.

Being an adult baby is in no way a sexual thrill to me. It is only the safety and comfort I get out of it. Diapers are the sexual drive for many. Not a single person I know who is in the AB community is sexually thrilled by being treated like a baby or toddler. If they are then their relationship to their partner includes more then just the treatment. They might actually have sex or do other kinky things during the treatment but alone I can not see any reason for a person to find it sexual.

Thank you for the distinction, BabyB. Perhaps other answers will also show AB to be non-sexual and diapers more sexual.

Perhaps if I had spent more time studying mental processes and less time studying everything from hydraulics through gearboxes, this would be clearer to me.

I was amazed, for example, to read years ago that kleptomania has a sexual motivation. I still am not so sure that the real motivation is just plain grabbing something for free.

For time of ages, I wondered why is this what it is ? Where could it have come from, what was the spark, what fed the flame that lead to the fire? Don't get me wrong, and I'm not trying to fool myself, because I still wonder. But, I have very much, put it in the back seat. I live and enjoy it, for whatever it is. Why should I not just ride the ride, and enjoy it.

All this may sound a bit off the topic. What I'm trying to drive home most, is enjoy what you got, and not worry about what it is.

Some day it may all be clear to me, or not. I'm riding the ride, it's free!!!

I'm going to cloud the issue. For me it's both. ABDL is calming, relaxing and a great stress reliever. It gives me a sense of security that else nothing does. I could spend forever there. The sexual side, yeah it's there. Big time. Just like "normal?" adults, sex is not the entire basis of a relationship. But it is a key part of a deep relationship. Sexuality is an undeniable aspect of my ABDL life. For me ABDL is also a sexual rush that I find hard to explain. ABDL for me is clouded and blended to where there is no fine line between the two. In their extremes the two are definitely separate. But aspects of either the baby side or the sexual side begin to merge at some point in the experience. Could it be that the AB is the beginning and the sexual, the extreme of the same phenomenon ?

Metoo,

Gotta disagree with you. You are not clouding the issue, rather, you are clearing it up.

Seems to simple me that your finding sex as a bedrock component is a very plausible explanation of the intensity of the ABDL experience.

Thank you.

We will see what others have to say.

For me (DL) wearing a diaper can be very emotional very deep not sexual way, like it takes me back somehow comfort, letting go...

However using them or seeing someone else wearing one can be somewhat sexual but not in the traditional sense...

Like many who are drawn to enjoying wearing diapers as an adult and do not have a medical need to do so, diapers have been both a source of sexual gratification and provide comfort, relaxation and stress release, or even a way to regress to my childhood where I was loved, cared for and had only the simplest responsibilities. No one to depend on me. But at least for me, if I had to choose which has been more prominent, sexual pleasure and satisfaction has been foremost. Before I choose to wear diapers full time as I do know, I can't recall a time since my teens when I didn't masturbate under my diapers. I was diapered by my mom at night until I was 17 and I'm sure I never went a night or morning without playing with myself. You know how boys can be, we're all so horny at that age. I've always believed I could have stopped wetting my bed sooner but I'd get so turned on when she diapered me I kept on wetting myself until I had to stop before college. From 12 to 17 I can't recall a single night I didn't wear diapers and rubber pants, wake up in wet diapers and play with myself at least once if not twice. When I left home for college, I didn't think I could wear diapers, too risky since I had no medical need, but thought about diapers almost every time I jerked off. When I was home on holidays I'd pin my old diapers on myself at night, wet them and play with myself. The first time I did it at home after not wearing for so long, my orgasms were incredibly intense. For years after, whenever I went for weeks or months without wearing diapers, I'd have incredibly intense orgasms for the first couple of times when I found the time to diaper up again, usually a weekend of wet diapers and amazing orgasms.

The time came to be on my own after college. I was moving to another city, starting a very competitive career and anxious about my new like. My mother talked with me some about it all. She understood how much I liked wearing diapers, she thought it was mostly a form of escapism, but she also knew they were a source of sexual gratification, she had seen my cum on my privates and diapers before, had talked with me about it many times and wanted me to date more, believing my sexual attraction to diapers would weaken when I spent more time with girls. She also knew how stressful my career would be though, and told me I should take my old diapers and rubber pants just in case I needed help. It turned out that once I settled in to my new apartment in a new city far from home, and began my career, I had no interest or even thought about diapers for several years. I became totally absorbed in my new world, I didn't think about taking time out of day to pin diapers on a play around. But after a few years, I found myself once again thinking about diapers. This seemed to coincide with feeling more settled in my life and career, I'd achieved some financial success and peer approval, the things I was most worried about. One night as I was playing with myself in bed I started fantasizing about diapers again and suddenly felt this strong urge to wear again. Friday evening when I arrived home from work, I got my box of diapers out and started just feeling and smelling them. Memories of my mom getting me ready to be diapered, cleaning my parts and powdering them, getting erections while she pinned my diapers on rushed through me like a hurricane. I took all my clothes off, and started folding my diapers properly, wiped and powdered my man parts and pinned the diapers together and pulled up my rubber pants. I was already hard, but didn't want to cum yet, I wanted to see myself back in diapers and rubber pants after so long and enjoy the sensory feeling as I walked around my place, remember how wonderful it felt with only my diapers on. I'd touch myself, excite myself, feel aroused, tease myself knowing I was going to wet my diapers and jerk off. Which is what I ended up doing later that night. But I wanted more so I changed my diapers, and went to bed, still excited, played with self again and fell asleep. The next morning I was soaked, hard once again and came once more. After coffee and relaxing, I again changed myself, and intended to spend the day in diapers and go out, hoping no one would know. But not long after I strange thing happened. I suddenly wanted to make a mess in my diapers. I'd never done it before, always wet only. Never really thought about pooping my diapers. This was a first. I felt both excited and curious how I would feel. As I was standing in front of my mirror, I squatted just a little, pushed and a fairly large poop filled my diapers. I felt so naughty, so childish, but also ashamed at what I had just done. I sat down on chair and my poop felt so soft and squishy, I wanted to remain in my messy diapers for as long as I could. That experience is one which I repeated over and over for several years. I was back to wearing diapers and rubber pants every so often and every time I did, I wet and messed in them, eventually came. I felt so peaceful, so relaxed when I wear for a day or two, that diapers became a way to reduce stress as well as satisfy my sexual needs. Years later, I married, raised a family and told no one about my diapers, but even then, when I had some private time, I wet and mess my diapers, and always for both sexual gratification and relaxation. Now that I wear diapers full time, the sexual side of it seems much less dominate than it had, but I do enjoy simply how good I feel in diapers and how much I like to wet myself, especially when I'm around others.

@lyric Iinteresting and well written post. Funny how childhood experiences never leave some people, although they may fade and reappear at different phases Of one’s life. While I don’t share your particular fetish, you explain it very well.

Revisiting happier times when Mom supplied the necessities of life. Food, warmth, and comfort are there at every beck and call. No stress, no evening news, no traffic, and all wrapped up in a soft cloth diaper and pair of plastic pants. Why the heck would someone not want to return to those days?

The return to those days is symbolized by being in and using diapers as was in the day. Just happens that is what imprinted in our future wants and wishes.

It's a complicated thing!

Imagine a Venn Diagram with four circles (look up a picture of one if you don't know what I'm talking about). One circle would be “Regression” (escaping to the stress-free, happy, carefree days of early childhood). One would be “Necessity” (having a physical condition that results in incontinence). Another would be “Humiliation” (you fear having people discover your diapers but secretly long for them to do so, get a rush from being teased or laughed at, and find this to be a big sexual turn-on). And finally, “Sexual Fetish” (you are sexually attracted to and aroused by all aspects of diapers, plastic pants, diaper pins, baby lotion, your diaper pail; you love how they feel when soaking wet / loaded, you're excited by how you look while wearing them, all of the feelings, the smells, and the naughtiness).

If you drew this diagram and put a dot on it for each person here, based upon where we fall with respect to the above four areas, I doubt if any two of us would be exactly the same. Personally, I'd fall mostly in the “Sexual Fetish” part of it, but at various times I have and still often do enjoy some regression and humiliation, and if you consider “necessity” to include mental health, that too. It's impossible to “pigeon hole” most of us into any one area, there are so many aspects of it to embrace and enjoy that--even after about 60 years of being fascinated with / excited and turned on by this wonderful fetish I still find new areas of it to explore.

For years, I've thought if it as my “secret garden”, a safe place I can visit when I need it and am able to go there, full of wonderful, exciting, happy things. Sometimes I need to visit it a lot, other times I'm fine with going a while without--but I need to know that it's there, waiting for me, ready to welcome me back the next time I need it. As long as I know this, everything else in life seems to be easier and more surmountable.

I agree with your diagram.I fall into the medical incontinence side and have always been very upset with having to wear diapers and especially the only one in the house.