The Need To Tell Others

Diapers are a deeply personal thing for me. The desire, I've come to understand will never go away. The strange thing is, even though it's a deeply personal thing, I have the desire to let other people know. These people are the ones that are close and personal to me. I could care less about the general public.

Yes I know it's nobodies business except the very closest person (S.O. Wife) but still there's this desire to let others know. I wonder if it's an acceptance thing or more the desire to understand a very confusing aspect of who I am. Any thought on this?

I think its very dangerous to let it be known outside simply because you would be jugged as not normal that there is something wrong with you and your character would be damaged. People that you know work with and anyone else that someone would tell would look at you differently and I don't think in any good way. That is a fear of mine that life would never be the same it would be hard to have any respect anymore your the weird guy with nothing wrong with you that wears diapers and then whatever else people would dream up and others would believe it because the diapers are weird or bizarre enough for other (normal) people to take in. Just a couple of my thoughts after all I don't understand it and I do it. It doesn't consume my whole life but its there.

I don't mind people finding out I need to wear nappies.

I have recently tried this service called CuddleMe. It's strictly a cuddling service where you pay a person male or female a fee and he or she will cuddle how you want, even an infant or a toddler. I told the person answering my call that I wanted to cuddled as a toddler because it was long time since I had been cuddled and I felt more comfortable being cuddled as toddler between 18 months and 3 years of age and that I would be wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants and would that be ok. they. said that it would be fine as long as my diapers and plastic panties were covered. It worked out pretty well except that I was 66 and she was in her early twenties and I had never really experienced real cuddling before so I was very nervous. I hope it will go much better next time.

Hey tenjoyse, Yes I have to agree with you. I don't know of anyone I could tell about being abdl. I did tell the shrink that I am abdl. I think she put her poker face on and dismissed it (freaked?). It hasn't come up again in 10 years. I do think my best friend knows as my wife and his discussed it at a low point in our marital relationship. I've come to realize that he is a giant kinkster in his own right. His s.o. that he has been with for years( he divorce his wife} is a very dominant woman and I know this is the basis of their relationship.

He twice tried to talk to me about our kinks. Like I said we both know that there are some "issues" with both of us, but I lock up mentally about discussing it. I do this panic sort of thing that comes from a deep shame and fear of rejection. I also have this extreme sense of "wrongness" about my being abdl. I literally lock up and can't even speak. So I'm sure I've made it pretty awkward for him too.

Like I said at the previous post, what I really wonder about is this strange desire to talk to someone impartial about my being abdl. More the "Why" then what would happen if I were dumb enough to actually try to discuss the whole topic with someone.

Me too I think thats why I go to these sites to read what other people do and how they became this way to try and understand a little of "why" It also helps to chat now and then with someone about your kinks the chat room affords that sometimes. Still I understand the want to actually talk but I don't think I would do it unless it was with another ab/dl. that way at least some common ground and probably the same want for privacy.

I just don't get it

I feel you have to be extremely careful in who you share your personal desires/ fetishes with as people have problems accepting themselves, let alone accepting you, as a unique individual who also enjoys what's classed as 'social taboo fetishes/ desires' We don't live in a perfect world that way.Telling people such as work colleagues, friends of friends,even family members, can bite you on the butt if you have fall outs with them or some form of misunderstandings. It's so easy for people to taint something that is so precious & beautiful. Think before you do something impulsive. It may change your life in ways you never imagined & not always in a good way. Become self aware of what you want to gain out of telling others as you may be seeking something outside of yourself that you need to be giving to your inner self. Such as self acceptance, self love, self nurturance, self esteem, self confidence (to name a few inner values). Not everyones going to accept you or understand you the way you may want them to.

I think most of us have the desire to "come out" about or diapers, but as most of you have pointed out, the consequences can be hugely negative. Be Careful! You don't know how people will react. My way of having fun with diapers is to make sure that if I am in public, it will be in places where the worst I'll get is some odd or disapproving looks, and that I can leave quickly if I am unsure. That being said, I have been downtown in a diaper, shirt and shoes, and it was a rush.

I think this whole concept of feeling the need to "come out" is really about the desire to discover like minded people with whom you can relate, to open a world where you can share stories & experiences, & perhaps indulge in experiences with.

The inability, for whatever reason, for us to tell people about our fetishes inhibits us from what we can experience, inhibits a little bit of who we are, & in doing so, prevents us from fulfilling our need to share & explore.

From my experiences of keeping my longtime jockstrap fetish a secret until i got involved with this website several months ago, a world opened up for me when i did finally open up. i discovered there were like minded people whom i never thought existed. And by opening up, i was able to explore & learn a lot about myself & this fetish, therefore to be able to grow with it in further exploration. I became interested in others sharing their own stories, and it was interesting to see the common ground.

Like others have mentioned, it's highly risky for negative consequences to come out about fetishes to people you know. Here on this website, everyone is into their own thing, so they tend not to judge. This is not true for general public. General public has a tendency to judge, friends of yours or not. Maybe ESPECIALLY friends or loved ones. I tried feeling someone out about something i wanted to include her in, thinking from what i know about her, she may be cool. I had tread lightly but wound up taking 2 steps back.

It starts with trust, but be careful before making a move with consequences that cannot be reversed.

Speaking only for myself, I have wanted to and do wear diapers and rubber pants, wet and occasionally mess my diapers since I entered puberty. At first I didn't think much of it, didn't feel ashamed or scared, I more or less thought it stemmed from wetting my bed and needing diapers for so long and my family was helpful and supportive with my bedwetting. I lived a pretty sheltered life where I was protected from outside criticism about my bedwetting. But when I left home for college, I understood that adults wearing diapers was not socially acceptable, strongly disapproved, and even regarded as sinful or developmentally immature and hid my desires from everyone outside of my immediate family. My mother knew how much I needed to wear diapers for comfort, emotional security and even sexual fulfillment, but no one else understood. Over many years after I was on my own, wore diapers and used them secretly and not nearly as much as I wanted, I wanted to tell someone, I wanted someone I could be close with know all about my secret attraction to wearing diapers and rubber pants, to wetting myself and acting like a child at times. That need and desire to share this part of me persisted for so long, I knew eventually I would have to tell someone, and once I did, I hoped it would a person I could share the rest of my life with. Of, course nothing like that is simple and I ended up telling several women over the years about my diapers with, as you might expect, mixed results. I must admit that the simple act of confiding my diaper interests with women was always sexually arousing no matter how she responded, but I did finally meet a girl who accepted me, supported my need to wear diapers and wet myself, and obtain sexual gratification. It turns out that some girls, like my wife are actually attracted to guys like me, even enable my diaper dependency.

Now that almost another 8 years have passed since my last post, I can say that I have experienced a great deal. I have posted many pics of myself on both allkink (JTMac) and yoursjockstraps (Jockstrap Jimmy). Folks have reached out and I have had a bunch of experiences since i last posted on this thread. I willed myself to make things happen., Although still, considerably more still left on the bucket list.

We only have one life to live, with which to enjoy our bodies, and those of each other. And that life will be over before you know it.