Seriously ashamed of diaper fetish?

So i've been lurking DL forums for a long time, probably since I was 12 years old(now 21) when I found out how much diapers turned me on sexually and came inside one for the first time. My fetish is always off and on and I don't really enjoy the full time babying aspect or anything like that. I purely enjoy diapers because they turn me on so much and immediately start masturbating as soon as I get one on and then take it off.

I'm a virgin and 21 years old but the thought of a female taking power and control during sex is another fantasy I have and i'm not proud to say it. I only masturbate in diapers at least 3 times a day and i'm super worried that it's gonna come to the point where I won't even desire to have regular sex without diapers being involved in some way and I don't think i'd have the nerve to tell my future partner about this because i'm seriously disturbed by how much I like it. Makes me wanna die sometimes, but I seriously don't wanna stop masturbating, it clears my head and makes me feel really good. I've never even tried doing it without a diaper on.

Do what you feel is good, it won't harm you in any way

Andycandy, When I was young I was right where you are now except it was once a day. Loneliness was killing me. If you can, try to direct some of that energy into a girlfriend or other soul mate.

Put your emphasis on her instead of the diapers. If the whole diaper thing turns her off, she's not the one for you. It will cause a lifetime of pain. Wait till you are comfortable with each other before springing it on her though and go SLOWLY with it. Try to keep your focus on her, not the diapers. Let the diapers take the back seat of the relationship. If she accepts the whole diaper thing proceed SLOWLY with it. Have a heart to heart talk at the right time and explain to her that she won't be able to change your whole diaper attraction.

If you have truly tried to give up diapers and can't, you'll likely not to able to ever. Explain that to her that it's you with the problem. Not her. Explain that you love her and the diaper thing is a facet of you that can't be changed EVER. If you can get that thru to her and she still accepts you, she's the one. Just remember, SHE ALWAYS COMES FIRST!

With the social media out there that most younger adults seem to be in touch with it should be much easier to hook up with someone with your interests. My daughter showed me app called Tinder. Check it out. It's a dating app that opens up the whole dating thing a bunch. Since I'm not dating it's only a curiosity for me. But I'd suggest that you be discrete

and polite. I'd use terms like "Looking for an open minded lady" ... and keep it light....

OH yeah, Try taking up bicycling. It will give you a chance to blow the bugs out of your head. The energy you burn (pedal hard) will likely reduce your urges. In my case it helped a bunch. Biking trails are a great place to meet people. Look around a bit you can usually get a bike cheap. Sometimes even free.

Most all of us went through this. As you get older, it gets better.

Me? I went through the "binge & purge" until I was about 26, then I finally just accepted that "my diapers are part of who I am" and made peace with it. From that point on it was "if I ever get married it will have to be to a girl who lets me wear my diapers". I sort of developed the attitude that "girls come and girls go, but I'll always have my diapers" and developed an "I'm going to tell them and if they don't like it, they don't like it, but no more bullshit" attitude.

Right about this time I started getting serious with a new girlfriend and decided to tell her. After having accepted myself for who I really am, I no longer feared the outcome. If she leaves, I'll go back to wearing my diapers until I find another one and then I'll try again. And guess what? She accepted it! I've now been married to her for 25 years.

So, be honest with yourself and keep the faith. It will all work out.

I don't know if you ever quite get past the embarrassment of this fetish, since it is widely regarded as strange by the majority of the world. I think the closest I ever came was my last GF. She didn't care if I wore them, even encouraged me to sleep in them since I had a couple of accidents in bed. She even told me I had a cute butt (I was wearing cloth with plastic pants that had prints)

We would even powder and diaper each other on the weekends when disposables were involved, and many times she would wet hers beyond capacity. Unfortunately, she also had a horrible temper sometimes when we had drinks, I never knew who I was going to get after she had her 1st one, the loving nurturing woman she could be, or the angry venom spewing person that had some deep rooted anger issues. In the end I decided that, as much fun as we had, I wasn't what she really wanted and left.

I'm in a good relationship now, although she does not participate in any way, she is aware of my fetish, has even taken the time to become knowledgeable about what all it entails. She's made it clear that she always wants to see me as a man, and I respect that. I could never imagine placing or even seeing her in a diaper, I just don't see her that way, she is my lover and best friend. I do practice my fetish in private with her knowing what I'm doing, and I don't think I could ever feel completely comfortable wearing one while I'm around her.

Of course I wish I could, that it is no big deal, but as long as I feel it is, it won't happen. We have plenty of other things in common, I may not get my fetish needs met by her, nor will I ever go outside the relationship to have that done. It's clear hat we both need each other, and we have many other needs that ARE met, and for the most part I am satisfied, but still a little embarrassing...