Switches

If i were to think in greys compared to blacks and whites, i would want to ask switches how many of them fall more on the side of submissive and how many fall more towards the dominant side? Is this governed at all by availability? Or is it and will it always be that you enjoy a variety of roles? Also, what happens when one side of the role isn't fulfilled? How do you feel?

For me, 100% submissive is all i can relate to.

Would switches be ie. 50% submissive, 50% dominant?

I started a Domme. I started when I was 11 or 12. When I was in my early twenties I started to submit to my husband. For the last twenty years I have been a switch but am mostly dominant in S&M but definitely dominant by nature.

I started by tying up my friends, male and female to kitchen chairs that I would bring into the den and do my dirty work. When we were kids at 11-12 years of age no one took their clothes off. For me once I got good at restraining my friends, my mindset changed from one of its just being fun to tie them up, to one of control.

As I got older, I used my domination as a means to get what I wanted from boys during sex and to keep a good girl reputation. I would tie them up, fuck their asses with dildos and make them oral me to really good orgasms before I would let them have sex with me. I was a bad girl in high school, but never had a bad girl reputation because if a boy were to tell his friends, I promised I would tell other boys I fucked them in the ass with a dildo. Since college, I have been into administering pain and corporal punishment.

I was always very dominant until I got tired of doing all the work dominating my husband and other men, which continued after we got married. A few years after we got married, I taught my husband how to dominate. I topped from the bottom. As time passed, he became a terrific Dom. I allow him to do anything he wants with me. We trust each other implicitly with our lives. As I have said in other posts, we totally submit to each other and could kill each other if we wanted to. We do use safewords because if something unforeseen happens, like a knot slides or a severe cramp develops, he will relent. Not all pain is good pain. Some can be very bad.

At S&M parties, I will dominate or submit to women and dominate men. Only my husband may dominate me, give me enemas or perform other "unnatural acts" at a party.

Bondage and S&M, and occasional Med-Fet are my primary vices. Contrary to what some may think here, play piercing, needle play or injections are activities we rarely engage in.

I identify as a switch. For me, much depends on the type of play. For example, I top for intense physical play. I switch equally for electrical play and sensual physical play, I usually bottom for medfet play.

I find it interesting how many Doms use the role to get younger women..i also find it interesting how many switches say they are switches when in truth they are submissives. Has anyone else run into this? in the toronto scene, there were many male doms that i discovered would do all that a sub requires to get numbers..and youth.

I do know people like that. Personally, I don't play with significantly younger people - we just don't have anything except kink in common. I also find there is a HUGE difference between bottoming and submitting. Too many people consider this a semantic argument - it's not. Bottoming is a sensual thing, submitting is psychological,

I switch regarding enemas or suppository fun, i will do it to you and love you to do it back to me, so 50/50 i guess, but i spank and cane people, it sexually exites me to do it, i have had it done to me with no real interest to be honest, so more 90/10 ish ?

I consider myself a switch. Whether submitting or dominating, depends on the activity, my mood at the time, and the person I'm playing with. It's quite complex, sometimes I enjoy both, and also enjoy the idea of a power struggle or even quick shifting in position back and forth. How I feel at any certain time can be chaotic, and seemingly arbitrary.

I was 100% submissive until my second marriage and was in my mid 30's. I really enjoy the dominate side now but my true nature is submissive and I understand the submissive side better. I would say now in my early 40's I am submissive maybe 40% of the time and I believe that is on a downward trend.

And what if you are with a partner that only wants a Dom? or only a submissive? Are Y/you ultimately unsatisfied?

And what if you are with a partner that only wants a Dom? or only a submissive? Are Y/you ultimately unsatisfied?

Then that's what you look for. Nobody is forcing you to play with the wrong person for you. It's just like if your partner refuses to do X. Live with it or not.

I would think a male switch that fell in love with a female 100% sub would eventually be unfufilled..or thinking of other things.

I'm a straight male and do not play with other men. Most of my play is in a dominant, (top,) role with women. That being said, I would enjoy having an attractive female control me: arm and leg cuffs, gag, suppositories and enemas, diapers, and lastly spanking if I have not been a good boy.

i would think a male switch that fell in love with a female 100% sub would eventually be unfufilled..or thinking of other things.

Yes, precisely. There's three basic possibilities; The switch is unhappy and deals with it, the switch involves a third (hopefully with the sub's knowledge and consent), or the switch leaves the unfulfilling relationship.

Thank You JD.

You answered my question

As I got older, I used my domination as a means to get what I wanted from boys during sex and to keep a good girl reputation. I would tie them up, fuck their asses with dildos and make them oral me to really good orgasms before I would let them have sex with me.

Why couldn't I find someone like you when I was in school? 😃

For me it is completely a matter of the man I'm with. The individual chemistry trumps any preconceived roles which one can effectively play without coming across as scripted and rehearsed. There are men who naturally bring out the dominant side of my personality and all that goes with being in the drivers seat rather than in the drivers lap. On the other hand, there are men who appeal to and bring out the submissive side in my multiple personality which likes to be driven to do things and have them done to me. Age does not necessarily play a part in this since I find many younger men like to play the dominant role and I find that if they are naturally inclined to it that I adjust quickly and naturally to a complimentary submissive role. Actually I find this easier than having to play the dominant role with an older man. So perhaps this makes me a little more dominant than submissive overall but I do like getting it in the end (_!_)

If we consider role play as a part of performance we can get an answer. There are actresses and actors who can play only one role, and there are others who are more flexible.

Switches never emulate William Shatner.

When I wear lingerie I'm generally quiet and submissive. When I play , I'm always dressed, so I'm sub to begin with. If I play other CD's they are generally the same, so wait to see who REALLY wants to be dominated. If the other CD shows a submissive side than I will swich. I would switch for woman but prefer to be dominated

I don't understand your association of cross dressing and submission. It might be true for you, but isn't a 'rule.' I know plenty of cross dressers who are anything but submissive.

For me it varies upon the level of trust as to how submissive I am . I am naturally dominate but my submission is something I enjoy exploring yet not something I need. I find it easier to submit to a completely dominate man as opposed to another switch but I enjoy them both equally 50-50 .

Switchablesusie said

As I got older, I used my domination as a means to get what I wanted from boys during sex and to keep a good girl reputation. I would tie them up, fuck their asses with dildos and make them oral me to really good orgasms before I would let them have sex with me.

JimmyJohnson said

Why couldn't I find someone like you when I was in school? 😃

High school can be a bitch!

I don't understand your association of cross dressing and submission. It might be true for you, but isn't a 'rule.' I know plenty of cross dressers who are anything but submissive.

The same goes for people into enemas, bondage, corporal punishment or any other activity.

Susie, do you mean that people who are "into enemas, bondage, corporal punishment" aren't necessarily submissive?

Interesting thread.

I was similar to Susie in late high school, though I never fucked a guy in the ass, just dominated.

I have never switched. I have met 1 or 2 other female tops who indicated they wanted to play with me bc they felt they could flip me, but it went no where and I found it funny they would say such a thing. Like I'd be a challenge or something. It puzzled me a bit. It seems like there aren't many tops who do not switch. But maybe its just the company I keep or the circles I travel in.

Sunny, if a person WANTS to have these things done to them, they aren't necessarily submissive. They just like having things done to them. If you DON'T want these things done to you, but allow them to happen for one reason or another, then you are submissive.

My husband is hardly being submissive when he wants to be fisted as he is jerked off. He likes it and looks forward to it.

The boys I happily defiled in high school were given the ultimatum, "either I fuck you in the ass with my dildo and you oral me to orgasms or I won't let you fuck me." THEY were being submissive by complying.

Their submission to my whims kept them quiet and I got to keep my good girl reputation. I know, it was slightly underhanded, but a good reputation and keeping things in confidence is important to me. I don't feel bad about it because it's not as if they didn't get to fuck me and have a grand time doing it. 😁

I Am Like Submissive When With Male and Dominant With Females. But Never Dominant To Male And Submissive To Female. My Last GirlFriend Tried To flip me during the session. I Just Kinda Laughed Because She dominanting ME was Sort Of " Unintrested" To me . Not Just She But Any Other Female Dominating me Would Make Me "Unintrested" In Play....... :| :|

~Cookie

I suppose its similar to my feelings about enemas. I like the idea of them, but don't actually like getting them and sometimes that makes me feel a tad left out --- on this site, I mean. I'm totally into giving them, though.

When I'm in a sexual environment around other women, I feel the flame of domination rise in me. I never feel submissive, I just get more dominant, especially if they're very feminine or are wearing lingerie. And again, I feel sort of vaguely left out, like I almost wish I could feel submissive feelings sometime just to see what its like.

^^^^ I'm just the opposite. With men other than my husband, I dominate. With other women, I will do either.

Sunny76 ^^^ Switchablesusie has correctly identified position...If I were to surrender up to a womans wanton ways then it is because I CHOSE to do so for MY pleasure...which can also be HER pleasure.....That does not mean I am being submissive...in those circumstances it's a win win....That give & Take thing !

Sunny, I feel very sad to see you saying you feel sort of left out here. There is room and acceptance here for people with all types of ideas, needs, and fantasies. I, for one, think that it is a beautifull thing that you know yourself and your needs, and that you recognize the Domme in yourself.

Sunny, you need to drop the dominance sometimes. I will tell you that being the Domme is much more stressful than being the submissive. Just take off the Domme hat and submit or just bottom. RELAX, you'll settle into it. Not trying it (at least few times with different people) will be your loss.

When I was young I only Dommed, but after we got married, I taught my husband to dominate from the bottom, and he became a fantastic Dom. I trust him to do anything he wants to me, of course we still use a safe word because knots can slip, severe cramps can develop and other unforeseen things can develop.

You are missing out by not trying to bottom or submit.