Question for non sexual playdocs and patients

While talking with my wife the other day...she ask what does a patient having the exam and the doctor preforming the exam get out of it if there is no sex involved? To give you a little background on the situation. I have been a member of zity for some time now and my wife is fully aware of this. She has no interest in Zity or med fet play...but will allow me to examine her on occasion . We have been married for 48 years and naturally when I examine her it ends in sex. This she understands. She knows I have friends on Zity both doctors and patients.... and occasional I will tell her about a doctor doing an exam or a patient friend just having an exam. What she doesn't understand is ..why do you do it? What does the doctor get out of examining a patient (male or female )and why does the patient want to be examined and what does the patient get out of it? I told her I was going to post this and then allow her to read the responses if any. This question is for the non sexual doctors and patients...but naturally all responses will be appreciated.

For me, it's emotional. Does it feel good physically? Sure. If it were extremely uncomfortable or painful I am pretty sure it wouldn't be enjoyable for me. But the physical is secondary. The primariy reason I enjoy exams are that they give me a chance to feel cared for. I spend my real life taking care of everyone else. I don't have kids (and if I did they wouldn't really be able to care for me much now anyway) my parents have died, and my husband isn't the nurturing type, so there really isn't anyone else to take care of me otherwise. An exam is simply a safe space where I can let go and be vulnerable, scared, and surrender control for a few hours without feeling the need to do or think or be anything for anyone else.

For me, even though a playdoc exam may not end in traditional sex, it´s still a form of sex play, but just a different kind. And if you get sexual pleasure from it, even just from the situational surroundings or preparations or conversations or procedures or even ´just´ from the mental pleasure, then that too is still a form of sex. Even though it is probably often argued that it´s not ´really´ sex since there is no kissing or penetrating involved ... that´s just self-serving, an argument you can use to try and fool others or justify the medical play to others or yourself. But deep down I´ll still call it sex, just of a different kind.

I´ve never had the pleasure of engaging in an actual real-life play exam so maybe I shouldn´t analyze this too much. But ... I have fantasized about these things seemingly endlessly, written about them, collected material about them, books, illustrations, instruments and accoutrements and so on ... and as far as I´m concerned it´s all a form of sexual activity. Even the buying of material at public venues like flea markets or junk dealers, if I´m honest with myself, the pleasure from buying is also partly sexual, mainly perhaps from the anticipation of later use or fantasizing their use ... and yes, when others wonder or converse about the stuff I collect I too use the hypocritical dodge and argue that there is nothing sexual about it all, that it is a form of esthetic or historical interest or whatever ... but deep down I know that´s not true. It´s just something I make up so as not to give away too much of my private sexual fantasy world.

It´s only here on an anonymous forum that I can truly recount my personal feelings on the subject and admit to the true sexual side of this subject.

BamaBelle and agracier...I want to thank you both for taking the time to honestly answer my question.

I'll preface this by saying that I've never engaged in any in-person medical play. All of my activities have been either online, in the fantasy world of my mind, or in stories that I've written.

That being said, for me as a patient, what I get out of being examined is really a loss of control and a heightened sense of embarrassment. I'm giving someone else total control over me, allowing them to tell me how to undress, how to position myself in front of them, when to breathe deeply, when to cough, etc. I'm embarrassed because I'm exposing myself to a stranger in a way that would normally be considered unacceptable behavior. But since it's in the context of a medical exam, it suddenly becomes "OK" to do so. If there is an audience of some kind witnessing the exam (nurse, spouse, friend, classmate, coach, etc), then the embarrassment goes way up.

Therefore, for me, I feel that it's really a dominant / submissive relationship, isn't it? I'm enjoying the fact that I'm submissive to someone that is dominating me, and I'm deriving pleasure from that. It just happens to be in a medical context. The touch of someone examining you, penetrating intimate parts of your body with their fingers or instruments -- all of that is great -- but really it's more of a mind game to me.

If I were playing the role of doctor, I would think the inverse would also be true. I'm not examining someone just so I can see their naked bits -- there are easier ways to do that. I'm examining them because I'm exerting control over them. I'm telling them what to do and how to act. I'm ordering them to expose intimate parts of their body that they normally wouldn't to a total stranger. But again, because it's a medical situation, the societal norms that say it's wrong are discarded.

Thank you Jimmy

For me it is the unspoken and unacknowledged sexuality of the situation that make it so exciting, especially when you have an attractive female patient and a handsome/physical fit male doctor. It's fun to conceal your excitement and be professional, and I really enjoy knowing that the patient is aroused but also wouldn't do or say anything inappropriate.

The excitement is heightened when you spend 15 minutes talking to the patient, building trust and rapport while reviewing their medical history. It's challenging and even more rewarding when you put the patient as ease and get them to willingly comply with a realistic but thorough exam which leaves her more exposed than normal. Any doctor can be rude and pushy, but how many doctors can really gain a woman's trust and make her feel comfortable?

It's enjoyable to hold on to that feeling of excitement and anticipation while you go through the steps of the exam, as both the doctor and the patient know what's coming next, and I like wondering what's going through the patient's mind as the exam proceeds.

I like the awkwardness of the situation, like when you're sitting between the patient's legs getting ready to insert the speculum, and suddenly you both get carried away in conversation because you get along so well. You've hypothetically (I.e. role playing) just met this woman, yet here you are enjoying a conversation with her vulva lit up with a hot halogen lamp and just inches away from you.

When the exam is over, it's rewarding knowing that you just enjoyed an intimate and unacknowledged sexual experience with the patient, and that you've put her at ease and made inherently uncomfortable procedures somewhat pleasurable.

Thank you Dr Stiffler for your response.

I don't think you can take sex out of it, even if sex never occurs during the exam. I am willing to bet as soon as the parties are in territory they feel secure in, their hand will be reaching for their privates.

I do all kinds of exams, and they are based on an amalgamation of what the both of us want to get out of the situation. If it is a very clinical exam, I enjoy it because I have a sense of power and let's face it, I get to really probe lady parts but good, if just with my fingers and my eyes and my tools. When we part ways I have no doubt we both have lots of fodder for masturbating or later sexual enjoyment.

If it is an exam where she wants to get off, I really enjoy unlocking a females sexual pleasure centers. Discovering where and how she likes to be touched. I get very excited getting her very excited. She gets off but good, and again we both walk away with lots of fodder for masturbating or later sexual enjoyment.

And if it is the kind of exam where there is sex or we both get off, than we both get off, and we both walk away with lots of hot memories and thoughts to fuel us for a while.

I think the part your SO can not see is that some people enjoy these situations. I don't think it is the norm, so I think your SO is more the norm, but for people who do find it enjoyable, they do it because they find it enjoyable, if that makes any sense to you. You have to kind of be in the club to get it.

Reggind, you summarized my remaining thoughts on the subject...thanks for your post!

I agree with Reggind as well. One must be a member of the club to fully understand why a play Doctor would want to examine a patient and not have any sex with them. I have had several play exams where I have been the patient and I have received a full exam. All of the male play Doctors (I would love to play with a woman, but I have not found one yet) have given me a full and complete exam and I have reached climax, sometimes many times until I am exhausted and fall into a heap onto the exam table. And yet, some male play Doctors have never even removed any of their clothing nor expected anything in return from me. They are pleased and happy to just give me a complete female exam and I am very happy to oblige them. It is because they enjoy the feitsh for its own sake.

Of course, if the play Doctor wants something in return, the subject is open for discussion as well.

Lady Teddy, who likes to keep Play Doctors happy as well 😃

Just like a voyeur doesn´t necessarily wish to have normal sex with someone he is spying on, or an exhibitionist doesn´t necessarily wish to have normal sex with someone he is exposing himself to, a playdoc or a play patient also needn´t necessarily wish to have normal sex with each other, because the medical play acting and procedures and all the attending situation replaces normal sex.

Perhaps it´s even better than normal sex since it apparently fills some deep need of a sexual nature ... just not the normal penetrative kind. There is undoubtedly a very strong psychological component to medfet, perhaps an urge to recreate some past situation, maybe improve upon it, render it more sexually explicit through certain actions and procedures or exerting more control over the fantasy situation.

Reggind, Lady Teddy and again agracier,,,,thank you all very much for your comments.

I've discussed this topic with many people since joining Zity: what exactly is it about med-fet that you find fulfilling and/or exciting? It's definitely not the same for everyone. I have enjoyed reading some very good, well thought-out replies on this thread, and many of them resonate with me. I can safely say that it isn't just one thing, and it can vary depending on the patient and the situation.

BamaBelle mentioned the desire to feel cared for and nurtured. As a playdoc, I do enjoy taking on a caring/nurturing role that I don't always get to do otherwise.

JimmyJohnson also echoed many of my thoughts. Many things about an exam are intimate in nature. Yes, the patient is surrendering control, exposing his/her most private areas and allowing them to be seen, touched, and even penetrated by someone who is not their spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend. This flies in the face of well-established social norms, yet because it's a medical situation, all those rules are completely cast aside, and that which would normally be completely unacceptable is deemed not only "okay" but good and necessary. It can be mind-blowing when you really think about what is actually happening. This is particularly true for genital and rectal exams, but it's not just that. When I briefly run my fingers through my patient's hair to examine her scalp; when I lightly palpate all over her neck with my fingertips; when I slip the head of my stethoscope just under her gown very close to her breasts -- in all of this, I'm entering her personal space as very few are allowed to. And then when it's over, it's over. She gets dressed, and we just talk, interacting in a completely platonic manner (similar to what might happen after an exam at your real doctor's office).

Dr. Stiffler makes a good point, too, about the "unspoken" aspect. In most of my med-fet fantasies over the years, there is an understanding between my patient and I that each of us are enjoying the experience at least a little, and yet nothing is ever explicitly said, and nothing is actually done in an unprofessional manner. In my real-life exams, it's usually the same way. I may get mildly aroused at times, and often I can see physical signs of arousal in the patient, but nothing is ever mentioned during the exam. So there is often a sensual aspect, but it's subtle.

I will add one more thing that I personally enjoy about these exams, and that's plain old intellectual curiosity and exploration. I remember the first time during a bimanual exam when I felt a patient's ovary move against my intravaginal finger as I varied the pressure with my hand over her abdomen. I also remember the first time I successfully inserted a Foley catheter. Both times (as my patient could attest) my face just lit up as I discovered something new. And I always enjoy it when I find a patient's cervix with a speculum. That's not sexual to me -- it's just an awesome sight. Since I don't work in the medical field, these are things I probably never would have learned or experienced otherwise. (Seriously, where else as a non-medical professional would you find someone willing to let you do such an exam or procedure just for the fun of it?!)

So for me, there are just so many things to love about med-fet and exams in general. It can convey a sense of caring in a very personal way; sometimes it can be a turn-on; usually there's something interesting to learn if you pay attention; and overall it's just a lot of fun with a good patient.

PlayDrchad, I appreciate very much your response. thank you