Cucumber insertions

I made a Greek salad today using half of an English cucumber. Couldn’t decide which half of the cucumber to save - skinny half or the half with a bulge on the end. ???

Growing 2 kinds of cucumbers this year, the pickling which is coming in like crazy. Then I put out 2 plants of what most people consider a real cucumber, about 8 inches, fat and green. The Oh My God cukes that inspire you a weekend end alone and make you forget about men. One of those monsters came in today, picked it and set it in the kitchen. Well a certain smartass got to laughing about my works in the garden, asked me what I was going to do with that.

Sure would hate to see a man play alimony over losing his wife to a cucumber. Won’t do that, we are having to much fun playing golf. Plus he pays.

I have used them before. A girlfriend and I used them once. Wait twice we used them. Sort of a dare to eat them out of each other. Taste like cucumbers. We tried with the skin on and then we decided to eat them so we took the skin off. Way back women and girls used to use them to take away odors in their vagina.

I've drunkenly wondered about the possible negative reproductions on that sensitive region, I know aloe is supposed to be good for the skin but what if that cucumber had the end sliced, you know circumcised?!? (not that I'm overly concerned myself, it's just... a friend mentioned a bit an interesting night at a vegetarian's singles night recently.

I've drunkenly wondered about the possible negative reproductions on that sensitive region, I know aloe is supposed to be good for the skin but what if that cucumber had the end sliced, you know circumcised?!?

You carve the sharp edges smoother before inserting to not cause issues.

"I've drunkenly wondered about the possible negative ** reproductions ** on that sensitive region, I know aloe is supposed to be good for the skin but what if that cucumber had the end sliced, you know circumcised?!

Might this be the ultimate of Freudian slips? Or is it possible that the "seed" of a woman's favorite cucumber (AND sexual partner), find its way through the cervical os and attach itself to the uterine wall- the result being the birth of a new species.... one with no refratory period?

Me, with big cucumber, not long but with big on diameter (+- 5 cm)

I tried a cucumber a couple of weeks ago and was sadly disappointed. I spent several minutes picking out what I thought was the perfect one at the grocery store. I put it on the counter until the time came when I could strip down and plunge it into my butt. When that time arrived, I thought it best to peel it. That was a big mistake as it left “corners” or ridges where the peeler ever so slightly squared the natural round shape of the cucumber. I also tried to whittle down the end to a smaller point for an easier insertion to the full diameter. When I laid down, lubed up, and inserted it, I found it to be too cold and just overall uncomfortable. Next time I am going to go for the English cucumber instead of the “standard” cucumber. It will be a dollar more but more likely be the size I am looking for.

I have used them on my ex's and that was good fun and they enjoyed it as well

I've had plenty of enjoyable experiences with cucumbers. I did a video of me doing a sit-down insertion and the cucumber broke, flush with my anus. No harm, it came out easily. Email me if you want a copy. Excellent anal diameter view!

I like cucumbers up my butt. Peel them, round up the edges and insert it. The feeling of a nice thick cucumber going in and out is incredible 😉

The long english cucumbers are the best because i can get them pretty deep and still have enough outside of me …. I've used regular ‘cukes and they are fun but i have never made it to the thickest part. I agree with an earlier post about corn on the cob…. i always keep an eye out when it’s in season to find one in the grocery that has a nice taper….. more recently it's been bananas tho… I always buy the largest and greenest ones i can find.. 😃

My grandmother used to make cucumber salad, with sour cream.

Yeah, I have used a cucumber or 3, they feel good, i used to enjoy going to the supermarket and just buying a cucumber and some KY Jelly ^_^

HEY BOYS AND GIRLS!

IT'S TIME TO PLAY - HIDE THE CUCUMBER!

(In this case, it's summer squash.)

All my boyfriends are Butternuts ! I just got a new one for Spring as Mr Winter was getting tired and was ready to split on me ! lol This one has a blunter head than I normally prefer,but bearing down,all lubey,he goes in.Just a slight reduction in the diameter at about 2 inches is enough to affect my ring as it contracts around it.Pushing toward the bell,it gradually grows nicely. My new guy is very pleasurable !

Most likely the biggest thing I've had in my ass. Every now and then I'll pick out one in the market and my better half will roll her eyes, smile and chuckle.

After an enema she'll wrap that thing in a rubber, usually an extra large, then works it in. I love the feeling that my asshole can't close around it even though it wants to.

Might try an ear if corn sometime. They say vegetables are good for you!

I found that the best way to use a cucumber was to heat it up in the microwave and then peel whatever was the thickness part. oops, forgot mention that it is always a long English cucumber. The peeled part of it is so slippery and warm that it feels heavenly when it slides in. So day I hope to have a real penis slide in me and I hope it will feel as wonderful as that warm cucumber.

I love inserting a long and thick cucumber in my ass and riding it so it goes deep inside me and rubbing against my prostate for so long it gives me an anal orgasm ❤️ 🥒

Inspired by this thread I've added an English cucumber to my shopping list. Standing in the produce section picking an appropriate sized one I felt like everyone would know exactly what I'll be needing it for, which added to the fun. I mentally compare the size to that of a dildo that I know I enjoy. The skin texture of this particular cuke was somewhat rough so I put a magnum sized condom over it - it fit like a glove. I wouldn't suggest peeling or cutting it as that would introduce rough edges. I warm myself up with a smaller dildo, then when it's no longer enough I bring out the main course 😃. It is so long that I can't possibly take it in completely. I alternate between pushing it deep into my ass and fucking myself with long strokes. I get on my knees and straddle it, hoping to get it even deeper. This time the pleasure was so great I got so relaxed and peed all over myself while having an anal orgasm, what an amazing feeling! I've filmed myself doing this and watching and thinking about it makes me so horny 😃

Nice thing about English Cucumbers - they are burpless - so you don't have to worry about farting if you use them for anal play!!!

Nice thing about English Cucumbers - they are burpless - so you don't have to worry about farting if you use them for anal play!!!

@gwhap 🙄🥳 Also use a condom so as not to turn green. 🥒 Or so I've been told that there is that possibility. 😏