Vibrator Dependency

Hi all - I haven't had a regular partner in quite some time (I'm extremely picky!) and have collected an assortment of good-quality vibrators. I love them. I use a vibrator every day, sometimes several different ones in a day. I prefer intense, small vibrators that really pinpoint stimulation on the tip of my clit. However, I recently met up with a partner and while he was really, really good at playing with my pussy - used the right pressure, etc and went down on me for ages - I found I just didn't enjoy it as much as I do my vibrator play! We did incorporate a vibe for some of our sessions too, and that was great, but I was disappointed that I didn't feel as much as I wanted to.

I can only assume I've become too used the the intense stimulation of the vibrator - desensitized myself, if you will - although I've also read that that isn't possible and that you can't get dependent on a vibrator.

Has this happened to anyone else and what did you do about it? I have gone for periods of time where I've tried to avoid using any vibrators but I always cave in.

My wife always turns to her trusty egg when she wants an orgasm RIGHT NOW! It's also a turn-on for me; as I can massage her butt while she rides the egg, and I can feel those glutes hard at work. Then she is REALLY ready to take me in...

If you want it, just do it!

You are not alone. I have talked to and played with a couple of women this has happened to. Usually the Hitachis are the culprits. Since the vibe can be totally directed and manipulated to pinpoint accuracy it is hard to top the sensation.

A personal touch and solid connection has to bridge the gap.

I am worrying about this problem but so far I do OK with my vibrators. But because of my concern I also do it with my fingers and ride on some things to pressure on the vagina and clit. If I have long time for it I do the first one or two orgasms in those ways and later have more with hitachi or eroscillator. I feel I have dependency on the vibrator to cum as many times I like each time but I don't want to stop that.

I am worrying about this problem but so far I do OK with my vibrators. But because of my concern I also do it with my fingers and ride on some things to pressure on the vagina and clit. If I have long time for it I do the first one or two orgasms in those ways and later have more with hitachi or eroscillator. I feel I have dependency on the vibrator to cum as many times I like each time but I don't want to stop that.

Try using BOTH hands to masturbate. Use one hand on your clitoris and use the other to stimulate the larger area of the vulva or to insert a finger or two inside your vagina ad you rub your clit. The stimulation of the entire vulva and or inside the vagina should help and reduce your need for a vibrator.

I will say I do like the Hitachi Magic Wand as well as the Eroscillator.

Switchablesusie, thank you for your advices! Yes I do this way also, even when young and play in the bed before sleep I rub with the fingers all over the vaginal area when have my feet very far apart. I do motion both left right on the labia lips and also up down between and then some times I put fingers inside in this motion. Actually before I ever had any sexual toys I also could have something inside like hairbrush handle. These days also I like to massage on the whole vulva and I shave it to have very smooth sensation. I can do quite long time and reach the orgasms but to do more I like to vibrate later and also if I wake up in the middle of the night it is good to just vibrate with eroscillator at the clit when so sleepy but still wanting to cum. Actually I think my sex urge is even more now because of vibrators, maybe its a kind of dependence on vibrator because of the enjoy of use it.

Vibrator dependency is a great term. toys have their place,and application for sure. I have found in the past that they become replacements for good old fashioned expertise in foreplay. Also that I got lazy, preferring to let the toy do the heavy lifting for me. They are fun, a great addition to sex play, but should never be a replacement for enthusiasm and creativity.

Interesting thread. Let me set a little history to frame my conclusion. When I joined this site, two years ago, my wife's interest in sex was all but dead (perimenopause).

I had began a period of self exploration as well going on a bit of a fitness kick. The combination of these two things had a profound affect on my libido as well as my endurance. Edging and prostate stimulation (and maybe the effects of aging) led me to being able to delay climax and ride the waves of pleasure - cumming to soon had always been problem I struggled with. My wife noticed this (with some annoyance) during the routine hand jobs she would give me (as a substitute for sex.

About a year ago, she started to turn around. I like to take some credit, in that - when given the opportunity - I was doing an exponentially better job of making love to her. But there was also an unmistakable biological change in her body as well. Sex began to come more frequent and be more of a mutual decision. Both of us were suddenly getting a LOT more enjoyment out of sex! She had very rarely had orgasms. She admitted that she had only masturbated a few times in her life and was seldom able to orgasm even then. It may help to note that her clitoris is almost impossible to find. She wasn't even sure she had one. Since I had been experimenting with sex toys on my own (during the drought) I decided to surprise her with a rabbit style vibrator, in hopes of returning the favor for all the orgasm she had hand administered to me over the last several years. Low and behold, it was a resounding success and she was able to have the strongest (and loudest) orgasm of her life. When I got her to come out of her shell and tell me what it was that made her cum, and without hesitation she said it was the rabbit portion.

Next purchase was a vibrating cock ring. I wanted to get my cock in on the action. I scoured reviews and purchased a quality (and powerful) one. We had good results with me wearing it, but once I let her use it in her hand while I made love to her - things went to the next level. Suddenly we were having sex two or three nights a week with sessions that went on for hours. Our sex life expanded in other ways as well - to include pegging, mutual masturbation, and even her giving me some head. Something she would almost never do. Probably the best addition was her letting into her ass again. She enjoyed it when were young, but had put it off limits since our daughter was born 30+ years ago.

Enter the Magic Wand! When she first saw it, she was kind of put off by its size and appearance. The first time we used it, I lost count of how many orgasms she had. It makes her cry and she won't shut it off. She'll stop and say she has to pee, but before she can get out of bed it she switches it back on and right between her legs it goes. I'm free to do whatever I please during the session. I like to assist with some two finger G-Spot stimulation. It doesn't take much once she starts cumming. I can also lay on my side and penetrate her with my cock and enjoy the intense vibrations and contractions. But what really sends her over the edge is when I take her anally. I take my time using my tongue, fingers, and lube to get her loosened up. I start out slow but deliberate until I have my cock deeply planted in her ass. I'll stroke in and out between her orgasms, but when she tightens up, that is my cue to be still but firm. After each orgasm she has, I can increase the power and depths of my strokes - reapplying lube when needed. This can go on for what seems like hours (though I'm sure it's not). When she finally switches off the wand, that's my sign to go at it with reckless abandon and plant my seed deep in her ass!

Sex without the vibrator now - is better than any sex we ever had before our rediscovery and is usually what we do for morning sex. But our dependency on the vibrator is perfectly welcome by both of us. She wants to have sex all the time now and I love watching her orgasm time and time again. And in appreciation, she's eager to do all manner of kinky things for me in return!

Sorry for writing a small book, but I had to get that off my mind 😃 I left out an entire side story of the fun we've added with some high quality dildos as well 😃

Sex without the vibrator now - is better than any sex we ever had before our rediscovery

I just love hearing about the complete turnaround for you and your wife. I guess there's still hope for my wife and I to ignite our love life again.