Taking Temps during a REAL Illness

I just had this experience. I’m sick and I thought I might have a high temp. My stomach has been irritated the last few days. I lubed up the thermometer with some Vaseline, then put myself in diaper position for accuracy, then shoved that thermometer up my butthole. I whimpered a bit and it felt very uncomfortable. After I pulled it out, it got a 102.6° reading inside me. I felt my forehead and it was burning hot. Took some Tylenol, now it’s down to 100.7°. Still not feeling well, god knows when my bf gets home, he’ll feel my forehead too and want to stick the thermometer up my ass to get an accurate reading. He takes good care of me.