Your requirements on diapers.

For me, thickness and color are key. It must be white; diapers for me must be white! The other is thickness. What is the point of being diapered if they don't even hold one wetting. I have been a DL for 30+ years and have seen the thickness of diapers grow thinner and thinner. I remember when Attends were thick (back in the 90s); they were great. Now, in order to feel safe in my favorite diaper (Attends); I feel I need to wear two and even back that up with a booster. When I wear two, I slit the inner diaper so it will allow the wetness to spread between the two diapers.

It should be nice and thick, hold a lot and it doesn't matter if it shows a little. It should have a wetness identicator for the one who changes me.

As an incont, I want long lasting diapers/nappies that cant be easily seen.

Same here discreet and effective.

I love my diapers to be soft,thick,absorbant cloth diapers.i want to feel certain that where ever I go,i will not leak an be embaressed.i like them thicker at night during sleep hours,so I am comfortable and not weting my bed.i don't mind if they show a little under trousers.it is no ones busisness,as long as i'm dry and presentable in public.

Refastenable tapes - I need to check pretty often and I am not even so hot on doing the tapes up perfectly the first time, so the do-overs are necessary for me.

Strong tape anchors - I wear diapers full-time so I'm used to my diapers being as snug as possible to avoid leaks. If the tape threatens to tear away from the rear wing the instant you start pulling it taut, it's not suitable.

Thick padding - Diapers with little padding tend to balloon out and be nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. With thick padding you can pee as much as you like and it will really only balloon slowly and you will be able to get as much use out of it as you need. This is fairly indiscreet but honestly I am long past the stage where I care either way.

Wide footprint - A wide shape makes me feel safer about being wet or messy.

Long footprint / high rise - I don't like feeling like I'm about to pee (or even just leak) out of the top of my diaper because it rides too low.

Plastic backing - Keeps wetness and smell in a lot better than cloth backing. Obviously this is not something that's easy to get so I am fairly happy to settle for cloth backing most of the time but plastic backing is my ideal.

Plastic, wetness indicators, thicker the better, leak proof.

They should be: absorbent enough that I only go through 2 or 3 a day, fairly high-rising, convincingly refastenable, not too short in the wing area, comfortable, and not too noisy. Currently these are Abena M3s.