My BF....

Okay, so I wanted to wait until marriage to have sex. I moved in with my BF and resisted for about 1 1/2 years before giving in to my animal instincts. I had my own stash of toys so I was fine.

BF is not interested in doing too much. He like to perform oral on me and then sex in one position. That's it. No toys. No fetish. No talking dirty. No naughty attire. Nothing. I'm a very in my head, type A personality so I'd like to do a little bit more than just have sex. I need a little mental stimulation too.

The lack of steam has me wanting to introduce my MedFet interest to him, but since we've only been sexually active a few months now, is it too soon?

...and there's another issue too...

We have a TINY shower, and we are both bigger people so I have no idea what he does in the shower. I can tell you that there is a cleanliness issue where I know he's not cleaning himself properly... in either part of his nether regions if you catch my drift. Since I can't get in the shower with him to see what he does, is there a tactful way to bring it up? It's gross and it's a major turn off.

Hi LadyEm like man i can try to give you some advice...

I think that every man have a sexual fantasy that it's a kind of turn on for him.

The basis of a relation, for me, is comunication. I think that you must to talk with your husband about your sexual fantasy, if he really love you, he will listen to you and he will to externalize his thinking.

For the cleanliness problem you can treat gently saying to him that you would like to wash him for your pleasure like a romantic thing and during the act you could say that it's more exciting if he wash his private part in this way.

I hope you have understood, my English is bad...

I'm not sure I'll be of much help, but are you older or younger than your husband?

My girlfriend is younger so all this is new and while she doesn't know the WHOLE picture to this, we take it slow.

You just have to slowly make it erotic. Treat yourself to some nice lingerie and see how that turns things up a bit? Don't forget to keep it romantic. If you can plan to turn up the notch, make it after a nice meal or something. It will him feel like he owes you the time to partake into a little foreplay. Sometimes us guys have the drive, we either just don't know it, or are afraid to to show and wait on the lady to take the first step.

I do hope the best for you 😃

Thank you both for your replies.

I'm sure I'll wind up trying the lingerie , but when I took him into Victoria's Secret the other day to buy panties and tried to get his input on sexy little get ups, he said "What's the point, you won't wear it very long anyway." So I don't know how much good it will do...worth a shot though.

As for making washing and cleanliness part of the foreplay, there is literally no room for the two of us in the shower at the same time. He barely fits in by himself and smacks his elbows on the doors frequently as it is. Any other suggestions?

I'm a little over four years younger than him, he's 28, I'm 24. I think I'm more experience than he is, believe it or not. While I wasn't sexually active until recently, I had been handling my own needs since I was a teenager and doing quite a bit of self exploration. I literally started watching porn and reading erotica as a 12/13 year old (*disclaimer* This was naughty, I do not endorse that behavior in minors.) He's pretty damn vanilla; never looks at porn or anything. I'm baffled.

As for making washing and cleanliness part of the foreplay, there is literally no room for the two of us in the shower at the same time. He barely fits in by himself and smacks his elbows on the doors frequently as it is. Any other suggestions?

If both of you can't fit in the shower at the same time, you can still watch him, can't you? Tell him that it would excite you to stand outside the shower and watch him as he's in there. Then just pull back the curtain or open the shower door and watch him from outside the shower. Then as he gets to his parts that need more attention, you can lend a helping hand. What guy wouldn't like someone else reaching in during his shower, soaping up his private parts and lending a helping hand?

Just have plenty of towels handy and spread out on the floor, because you'll probably have water all over the place. But it just might be worth it.

I used to feel the same about sexy lingerie, but now I realize there is a way to enjoy them beyond just seeing them on the floor.

- You can merge your underware drawers into one big drawer so that he rummages around in your underfrillies each time he goes to get his own.

- Pick out your next days outfit the night before, ask him to help choose between two items, leave them on the top if your folded pile for a good view.

- Arrainge your thong strap high in your hips so that he can catch a glimpse of it whenever you bend over.

- Short skirts are great for flashing him a peak at your lacie crotch. And that crotch might be pulled tight, or halfway to one side.

- Wear them to bed when you know sex is going to happen. Pull them to the side during oral. When he goes to peel them off you completely, hold out your hand for him to give them to you. Stick one of your wrists thru them, twist a few times, then put the other wrist thru. Place your hands up over head as if you are tied and bound. If you can keep your hands there on your own for the entire session it will give him the experience of fucking you while you are tied up.

- OR, when he hands them to you comment on how wet you are. Bring then to your face and sniff the crotch of your panties. Give him a dirty smile, moan as you inhale, and then put the gusset into your mouth and suck on them while he fucks you.

Hookajoe, your ideas definitely turned me on, so if they don't work on my BF then there's something wrong with him! lol

Thanks for your input everyone!

Something else you might consider for cleanliness is buying a small wash pan, the fill the pan with water, take a bar of soap and a washcloth into the room and wash each other in the genital region. That way you would both get clean and nice smelling and have fun doing it it to each other, as well as turning each other on.

Leave the shower door open as you wash him.

After reading your posts about him, are you sure you want this guy??????

At this stage in your relationship, I DON'T think "LOL" goes along with your phrase. "then there's something wrong with him" because there IS.