Erectile Dysfunction

I have ed. It really bothers me and i will have penile implants put in soon. However estim orgasms can go on and on. I hope i can still do estim after surgery. Does anyone know?

You are going to have to be frank and either speak with your urologist or better yet, find a kink-friendly physician.

Do a google search for kink friendly physician or kink friendly doctor.

First of all, in many cases ed is a psychological issue rather than a physical one. Before you do anything to your body, explore this aspect.

You say estim orgasm can go on and on ... so you do have orgasms, right!? With discharge? If so, don't go for implants man!

E-stim stimulates your nerves and sends messages to your brain ... which in turn sends messages back to your cock. So, unless surgery damages the nerves, why should there be any change? Listen, don't do implants ... the only thing they change is that your wallet shrinks and the surgeons balloons!

Good luck mate!

Btw, how old are you?

With e-stim, I came three times with no hands in 30 minutes.I never did that before

Before I would consider implants, I would explore the various oral meds for ED. I would also have a free testosterone test as low testosterone is often a contributing factor. If the oral drugs do not do the job, then it is time to look at the injectible compounds. Sticking a tiny insulin needle into one's penis is not fun, but not that bad either. Only if none of these approaches works, would I consider having implants. I would also opt for the much more reliable and simple silicone rods over the complex inflatable implants.

You need to be aware that any penile implant destroys the erectile tissue of the penis. Simply put, if the procedure fails, then the patient is left with no possible alternative treatment.

I agree with most of the below. I disagree about psychological ED, that has proven to be a myth. There are cases of psychogenic ED, sure, but they are uncommon. What is common is performance anxiety after sexual 'failure.'

Most men will deal with ED during their lives. There are effective treatments that doesn't involve surgery, although, depending on your diagnosis, surgery may be the answer.

I've struggled for years, a loveless marriage, diabetes and high blood pressure took their toll. I had tried Viagra and Levitra with limited results. I tried urethral suppositories and penile injections, but the side effects were intolerable.

Recently, I've been dealing with an enlarged prostate (getting older just sucks). My doc agreed to let me try Cialis daily. It's a freaking miracle drug. It took 20 years off my genitals. I pee better, I get erections at will and I even wake up with morning wood.

For your own sake try EVERYTHING before surgery. Also look into microsurgery before implants.

Thanks for sharing your experiences and advice. Especially for being so open about a topic many men keep quiet about.

I have a lover with ED, though the cause of his will probably require surgery. It has something to do wit clogged blood vessels on one side of his penis, which makes it sort of turn into itself. It used to be an exclamation point but now it's more of a question mark, he says. His ego has taken a serious blow. He was always very well-endowed and no longer being stiff enough to penetrate a woman has humbled him. I mean, he did need to be knocked down a few pegs, as he was always quite arrogant, but he feels hopeless, worthless and ashamed and has withdrawn in sadness.

He does not have medical insurance and is saving up to pay for the surgery out of pocket. He has diabetes, too, and is worried that by the time he has enough money to pay for it, it will be too late for it to do any good.

I've tried explaining that I don't spend time with him for his penis alone. That I love his company and snuggling, talking and laughing with him for hours on end and that the pleasures we do share are satisfying. He has always been skillful with his tongue and his hands and he gets erect enough for me to pleasure him with my mouth and still orgasms. But he misses what he once had and his glory days. I do what I can to reassure him that he's fine the way he is but he's really down on himself these days. Hopefully, in time, he will either have it repaired and functioning as before or will come to accept it as a new state of being for him and to enjoy everything that he can as best as he can.

As a woman, what can I do to make him feel better about himself? What can I do or say to let him know I still consider him one of the best lovers I've ever had. Should I refrain from saying that he's fine the way he is or do you think that makes it seem that I'm just placating him or being patronizing? What's a woman to do when her lover has ED?

It sounds like Peyrones Disease, scarring of the Corpra Cavernosa.

Something I came to realize is that intercourse is only a small part of sex. Even when I can't get an erection, and it still happens, I can have a satisfying time with other activities. Oral sex and manual sex don't require an erection.

I've dealt with ED, for 40-years, and it is in no-way, a psychological dysfunction, it is purely physical, due to damaged nerves from a surgery. Egirlky, has really hit the nail on the head with her postings (wished I lived near that lady), that satisfactions can be very well met, with both partners working with it.

I too, was very down when I learned I could no-longer achieve an erection. I took the risk of confiding in some female friends, and to my surprise, they told me to not worry, as they liked oral and manual stimulation better, anyway. A penis can always be substituted with devices, and they were mostly interested in the "love-making-stimulations", that are performed by both parties pushing the right buttons.

Since I can have satisfying orgasms, then my main goals in sexual encounters with the opposite sex, is to make certain that she have as many satisfactions as we can make happen. Then, since I can cum anytime, concentrate on myself, with as much help from her as we both agree on, take care of my needs. Watching a female orgasm is one of the most satisfying, stimulating parts of sex for me. Since all the aformentioned is all a great part of sexual play, then I can honestly say that I've had no failures with any sexual encounters I've had. Too bad that everything else but sex, seems to be pressures that tear couples apart.

I did consider an implant at one time, and would never consider it today. . .It's not necessary, and am also afraid of the surgery messing-up my orgasmic functions. Also, have never tried Viagra, Cealis, etc. . .I don't think they would help. My doctor has mentioned that I might try Cialis, but I told her that I would rather leave things as they were. . .Just need a loving/understanding/sensitive lady at this time :-) Mike.

George says he misses being inside me, lying above me and looking into my eyes while we make love. And feeling the way my body trembles and shakes and my pussy squeezes him tight when I cum. He talks about it whenever we're together and tries to get me to agree with him that I miss it, as well. And to be honest, I do sometimes. But he has always had an amazingly talented mouth and would spend an hour or so making me weak in the knees with his tongue, which he still does. It was foreplay back then, though, now it's the majority of our lovemaking. Knowing that I've always loved manual stimulation, he uses his fingers to make me cum. And though I'm perfectly happy with that; he isn't. He feels like he's less of a man because he doesn't have erections. I've told him that he is more than his penis. That I like all the elements that make him who he is and not just 9 hard inches of flesh but his morose and inconsolable about the loss of his erection.

I am treating it as if were the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, acceptance and ah, the other one that slips my mind. That like the death of a loved one or the impending death of oneself, this too is a normal part of grieving the sex life and virility he once had. He says he's turning into an old man and letting the condition of his penis designate his worth and the quality of his life. He has always been an extremely physical person; an athlete from a young age through college, an electrician and now a private investigator. He sees himself as a has-been and washed up at the still young age of 58.

Any advice on how I can improve his outlook and bring his confidence back?

@masturbator46 Mike, I've appreciated your honesty and friendship (and photo editing) and wish you lived closer, too. Thanks for all you do, love.

Just stay with him. Be honest but not accusatory or show any sense of pitty. Be thankful for what you have and praise him for what he can do.

@jds4med Thanks. We've been lovers off and on for eleven years now. We separated for a few due to our political differences and his inability to keep it out of the bedroom. It was during the time apart that he developed ED. When we started getting together again, he told me beforehand and it made no difference to me. It still doesn't. What bothers me is him beating himself up and belittling himself over it again and again. I have been honest with him and never pitied him or accused him of anything. I have always been accommodating and encouraging without any fakery or false words. We've had to adapt for my health over the years and I thought we would do the same when it came to him. I see it as a partnership where we do the best to please each other physically and emotionally. I'm just at my wit's end for how to get him to accept the way things are for now and to not feel that his life is over just because his penis isn't behaving the way he'd like. But I've probably done all I can do. The rest must be up to him.

Egirlky (Dianne), Your partner with the ED problem should be very thankful to have you as a partner. Very understanding partners are what has really helped me with my ED problem. I have never had a sexual partner that has ever rejected me in the bedroom, due to my disability. I've been real fortunate in the past, and since I'm recently divorced, I haven't put a lot of effort into a new partner. My separation, and divorce had nothing to do with me, it was sadly drugs, alcohol, and that great group "Occupy" :-(

Dianne, Thank you so much for your friendshp with me, and all the others on this forum. I'm so glad I found this group of people. Hope your fellow gets a grip on his problems, as I always say, "I concentrate on what I can do. . .Not what I can't". Mike.

Wow, Mike. I was completely taken aback when I read that you considered your ED a disability. I would never consider it such; just an adjustment to be made. I've tried to keep my bedroom as a place of acceptance, understanding and nonjudgment. Although George has always been a tough, macho man, I know a man's ego is a fragile thing so I've tried to do my best to not tread on it. It's been several months since I've seen him. His visits used to be more frequent but he's been down on himself lately so I've heard from him every two or three weeks. I'll text him this week to check on him. He has two daughters and at least half a dozen grandchildren. Between them, his sports and having his own business, he's a very busy man. But I hope he'll have a few hours to visit soon.

Your lovers were very fortunate to have you as a partner. Because the "usual" wasn't an option, you had to communicate and share a greater intimacy than men whose ultimate goal to put tab A into slot B. The experiences shared were no doubt more intense and more satisfying than that of others. It's lovely when people have to be creative and pay attention to their partner's needs than rely on rote techniques. I hope you find someone special to share your bed someday soon. You deserve it.

Egirlky (Dianne), Well, I guess that if a part of your body doesn't function in some-sort of "normal" way, like you originally came with, may be considered a disability. Thank our maker that there are those like yourself who have the ability to compensate, and help.

Having ED makes a man much-more, or should, be aware of what a woman may go through with a mastectomy, or hysterectomy. It's not only a physical change, but the emotional/mental strains are even worse. I think it behooves us as, as "real humans" to be very sensitive towards each-others needs, of our opposite sex. At least, that's my take on this subject. In some ways, I am thankful for some things I go through, and have, as it does help us to be more aware, and help others, too.

I have a daughter that is going through some rough times with her husband. She knows she can talk to dad, as dad has always been honest with her. I'm thankful I can help her, and empathise with her problems. Mike.

This is precisely the advantage that you can masturbate without an erection sufficient. The size of the penis does not matter. I am very glad, for 72 years one has their problems sexual intercourse would not be possible without adequate erection. But I can also sufficiently satisfy. This is very important for me as a habitual solo masturbator.

I was always in the older man that's just part of it if they enjoy me sucking it or playing with it or whatever as long as it's fun for them