Is it just me?

...or do you, too, cringe when a Dominant (noun, as in "She is the most wonderful Dominant person I've ever met.") refers to him/her self as a Dominate (a verb, as in, "She dominates every conversation she joins.")?

I'm not the spelling or grammar police, but doesn't a person who wants to control somone else lose a lot of credibility when they cannot differentiate between a verb and a noun when it is so easy to do?

Gently asked.

Before I answer, since you are addressing grammar, in the example "most wonderful Dominant person," "Dominant" is an adjective. However, the point is well taken. (Sorry, I parse grammar for a living. I don't catch everything, but I do recognize adjectives and nouns even when not fully awake.)

Yes, it makes me nuts when the person claiming to be a Dominant does not know the basic terms/spelling/capitalization. What makes me more crazy than Dominant/Dominate is those who say "I am a dom" rather than "Dom," and crazier yet are the women who say THEY are "Doms," when more properly they are "Dommes." Someone commented that a woman CAN use "Dom" since it is short for "Dominant" when he was corrected, but that's been only one person among all those in the lifestyle that I've encountered, and he really had no understanding of the lifestyle, even on its most basic levels. I also hate when people put D/S rather than D/s.

You have a good point! When a Dominant comes into chat or posts here with such basic grammatical errors (re-read your posts before you make them public!), I blow off His/Her comments or do not give the usual respect when chatting with Him/Her.

Well, darn. Thanks for the correction. I haven't been to school since 1969, so looks like I forgot a few things. But I still cringe.

I'll disagree with your lifestyle Dom/Domme description. 'Dom' is an abreviation for 'Dominant' wich is gender neutral because it describes male as easily as it does female. "Domme', on the other hand, is accepted as feminine even though it is not in the dictionary (Merriam-Webster online dictionary). Since use of either term is accepted by people in the BDSM community, I feel comfortable using either one I'm directed to use by the person being addressed. Neither reflects poor communication skills as does 'Dominate' in any use other than as a verb.

Thanks for reading and commenting. Reading some comments from Dominants/Tops/Masters/Mistresses (trying to be humorously pc here...wish this forum had smilies) should be eye opening, too.

A person can be "a dominant" not a "dominate." That hurts my ears whether heard aloud or read silently.

In the S&M sense, a dominant woman is a "Domme" and a dominant man is a "Dom." If you are in the scene, you should know how to describe yourself in text even though it isn't in the real dictionary [yet].

It is an S&M convention to use "D/s" but i don't really give a damn if you use D/S, although it might get you a good whipping.

NONE of the above bothers me as much as the person who says, "this is between you and I" or spells the words "d-e-f-i-n-a-t-e-l-y" or "p-r-o-s-t-r-a-t-e" when they are talking about certainty or a gland, respectively.

Yes, the 'Dominant' vs. 'Dominate' thing really gets to me. I'm sorry, how are you going to control me if you don't even know what you are? 😉 One other term that gets on my nerves is 'sub' used for submissive. Stop being lazy, people! I'm a submissive woman, not a freaking sandwich! *dies* LOL!

There are so many grammatical and spelling mistakes in people's posts and in every day literature (i.e. newspaper, forms, documents, reports, etc...), that the American English language gets slaughtered on a daily basis. I try to work on a "3 strikes" system when reading other's comments. The first time I see the error(s), I check the country the person located and if not American, I let it slide and it won't really bother me anymore. If the person IS American, I tend to 'write' it off as a typo the first time. The second time, I have been known to write a personal message informing the person of the correct grammar or spelling, and the third time, that person loses all credibility as an intelligent being. It's a bit harsh, yes... but those who don't try to correct their error(s) are just, flat out, lazy.

BTW, I'm not perfect by any means, and I USED to be one of those people who misspelled 'definitely'... I also had a hard time remembering the second 'r' in 'surprise'... 😉 Now, the mac-daddy of all screw ups used to be my attempt to spell 'Chrysanthemum'... However, you will be happy to know, I have mastered the spelling and I no longer have to go back and use spell check on that word. *giggles*

Even though I switch and wear both hats in the S&M arena, I have to agree with Soumise that I dislike the term, "sub." It's "submissive." Just because we allow others to control and/or do things to us, we/they still deserve respect. After all, if it weren't for we submissives who allow you dominants to have your way with us, YOU WOULD BE NOTHING.

Soumise, with regard to spelling errors, few things bother me more than someone who spells a word incorrectly three different ways in the same paragraph. Sheesh!

Here is one to ponder. I fully understand the Dom/Domme and the D/S instead of using D/s, but I have heard females also referred to as Domina. Now, going back to basic Latin during the Roman times, (obviously not us now), this was a term of address for the male/female heads of household. Where, if anyplace, does this fit in? Or does this fit in the bulls**t catagory?

As far as men that say they are having prostate problems, I just can't help thinking that they are having trouble getting on their knees to lie face down in supplication to a Domme.

Even though I switch and wear both hats in the S&M arena, I have to agree with Soumise that I dislike the term, "sub." It's "submissive."

I work with a woman who, unlike most people I know, uses "sub" as a short form of "subcontractor" .

It was kind of jarring at first, took some getting used to.

That would drive me nuts too!