Hard to be serious about role play

I like to role play with my husband, but sometimes find it hard to be serious with him. I like to act like a naughty schoolgirl who was sent to the principles office for punishment. Does anyone have any suggestions

You obviously need to be smacked into submission so you learn proper behavior in your role plays. 😁

You need to select a scene you can feel serious about.

By "hard to be serious" do you mean you can't get into the role or do you like to be "bratty". A Bratty sub, also known as a SAS, Smart Alec Sub can be difficult if a D/s relationship is what is wanted. However if you are having difficulty getting into the role and playing it well maybe its because both you and your hudsband are shy about it and have difficutly accepting that you want to play something that would normally be socially unacceptable.. Talk to each other and make it clear it is just play between both of you and no one else needs to know. You can also discuss what will happen so that you both know your parts better.

KinkEdaddy is right i would add being submissive is not that easy in real life. and beating someone to that point get nether person want they need. age play is not really all about submitting it about trust. when you were born you didn't submit to your mommy and daddy you were nurcher, and you had a trust. you need to work on that. yes punishment can be added but but spanking a newborn what does that get you. as you said you are newbies and work up to a bad schoolgirl. and have fun. trust is earned by the dominant if we have to give them trust then you better have a safe word.

Thanks, KinkEDaddy for that reply. The same thing has happened when I've tried to role play as a sub -- it sounded and felt so silly that I had to jump out of the scene or whatever it's called. Talking about why it's okay and what will happen sounds like a great advice and will certainly put it to use. Thanks.

I find it hard to be serious at all I giggle my way through everything "naughty" even when I want to be good!

I think part of the issue of not being able to take a role play seriously is the theme that people are choosing. The naughty schoolgirl while sexy has become such a Trope that it is almost a thing to be made fun of. Try choosing something a bit more off the wall or something that has not been seen repeatedly in bad pornos. This might make a more serious role play a bit easier to handle and get into character.

I have this problem, too! Like you, I enjoy being a schoolgirl who is spanked by the teacher. But when the "teacher" asks me "do you know you are wrong？” or "will you be a good girl?" I don't know why, I just can't stop laughing.

^^^^ Like I said in my earlier post, if you can't stop laughing or take the situation seriously, your master giving you a good hard smack in the face should help you view things seriously and with more consequence for your bad behavior.

If you do want to have serious role-play then I let the man I am with decide which scene he likes. Then I know he will be interested and then all you need to do is try your best. It might include me being slapped or may not.

I have this problem, too! Like you, I enjoy being a schoolgirl who is spanked by the teacher. But when the "teacher" asks me "do you know you are wrong？” or "will you be a good girl?" I don't know why, I just can't stop laughing.

This is only natural. Even professional actors, people who playact for a living, often trip up and starting laughing at a line, even when it's supposed to be dead serious. Surely you've seen bloopers of deleted scenes from movies and TV shows. If the pros do it, no reason why amateurs shouldn't. 😃 😃

Besides, it shouldn't be taken too seriously either. Like for instance the 2 actors who played the hillbilly rapists in 'Deliverance'. Apparently they stayed in character the whole time on the set, even after takes and totally creeped everybody out.

I've read the posts on this thread, and I'm having difficulty grasping what seems to be two different approaches to this concept. I have no suggestions for the OP, since this activity is something I want to try, but have no experience. My problem lies in the different approaches taken by people posting in.

I thought that "role-playing' was essentially a fun way to explore some sexual fantasies. Even if they are rather hackneyed, like the schoolgirl/principal role-playing, I thought it was supposed to be light-hearted, and not the end of the world if someone slips out of character.

The idea that a smack to the face would correct a fit of the giggles seems to move the whole enterprise onto a different basis.

^^^^ Like I said in my earlier post, if you can't stop laughing or take the situation seriously, your master giving you a good hard smack in the face should help you view things seriously and with more consequence for your bad behavior.

To me, if the role-playing is just one facet of a serious dom-sub situation, then serious punishment will be an acceptable part of that. When I imagine my partner and I assuming certain roles it would be, I thought, an amusing and arousing form of foreplay, and if either of us had a problem "staying in character" I feel that " a good hard smack in the face" would be the last thing either of us would expect, (or even accept).

I may be missing a point here, but I'm concluding that there may be two totally different approaches. One where the "game" is taken very seriously and not staying in the role would warrant severe punishment. The other where the "game" is just that, and the activity is seen as a chance to carry out acts not usually accepted.

. . . . I may be missing a point here, but I'm concluding that there may be two totally different approaches. One where the "game" is taken very seriously and not staying in the role would warrant severe punishment. The other where the "game" is just that, and the activity is seen as a chance to carry out acts not usually accepted.

You are absolutely correct

The game of role play can be light hearted or dead serious.

Neither approach is wrong. It just depends which one you and your partner are going for. Discussion before starting is a good way to set up the role play.

I agree it's hard to be serious with your husband about roleplays especially when you know each other so well.

I would suggest actually dressing up the part, wearing captioned T shirts and underwear, using masks and even chatting in front of each other before you both get physical

Another approach would be to try it outside although this would be risky 😃

I think the problem is the familiarity one has with ones partner. All the time knowing they are only acting whereas with a stranger one can always hope there is the possibility for realism. It is hard sometimes not to loose it with ones partner and the whole thing end up as a farce.

Jill

I enjoy a good spanking, or the like as much as the next girl. As soon as the guy says 'Have you been a bad girl?', or worse, anything with 'Daddy' in it, I lose all ability to keep a straight face, and either laugh uncontrollably, or look him right in the eye and ask 'Are you fucking kidding?'.

Maybe I just wasn't built for that.

One which may work is for him to escalate his anger with you for not listening, and to give you a slap and more spanking.. but this can be dangerous if you suddenly believe that he is actually serious... remember, 'tis only a play!

Cos

Ok...as a dom...here's my two cents worth on this...

the number one thing you must have is trust in your partner.....to know you will not be hurt for real...to know that you will be safe from outside dangers....to know that whatever he does to you, he cares for you and wants you to care for him...to know that she will naturally resist but eventually give in because she needs to fulfill her submissive role. If you want to role play for real.....it almost becomes consensual non-consent.

For example: my subgirl does something to get a rise out of me......I decide that she needs a spanking. She may actually fight me off....however....I am bigger, stronger and can overpower her....I therefore take her over my knee and spank her...if I do it and pay close attention to her reactions, at some point I can almost always count on her becoming aroused and at some point I can take her and she will respond in kind....if I sense a true push back, I must evaluate if she wants to stop or is this a "NO" meaning "Don't you dare stop!"in D/s speak

SpecialUse,

Do your subs have and know they can use safe words? Have they ever? Including those that you described giving multiple hour enemas and orgasms to? Thanks,

Eric

Yes...of course ....any sub that I play with knows her safe word (s) ....In the past I have on several occasions had them call "yellow"...the safe word to slow down......give them a chance to acclimate, loosen a too tight restraint, change some aspect of the situation. I cannot remember anyone actually calling "red". I am pretty careful about pre-screening and knowing limits and desires. One of my pleasures is "reading" my subs body and emotions....playing to her capabilities and needs. and yes....even during extended play with heavy enema play

Yes...of course ....any sub that I play with knows her safe word (s) ....In the past I have on several occasions had them call "yellow"...the safe word to slow down......give them a chance to acclimate, loosen a too tight restraint, change some aspect of the situation. I cannot remember anyone actually calling "red". I am pretty careful about pre-screening and knowing limits and desires. One of my pleasures is "reading" my subs body and emotions....playing to her capabilities and needs. and yes....even during extended play with heavy enema play

Thanks. After writing that, I did go back and notice somewhere in your earlier posts you did mention safewords. Since as a switch I enjoy both sides of the restraint/multiple enema/orgasms play that you've described so nicely here, I'm curious. Anytime a sub has given you a "yellow"/pause word during enemas, has anyone specifically asked to modify her enema or orgasms, such as "I really am too full, let some water out for a while," or actually requesting more water or a different solution? Or WRT orgasms, "I can't stand it, I need an orgasm right now," or "I need a break, don't give me another orgasm for 15 minutes?" Or another request, to make things even more submissive, like add a blindfold or gag or rubber hood?

Thanks,

Eric

Eric

I think you have to understand the nature of the "yellow" safeword. Rarely is this called by a sub wanting the session to be ended...matter of fact, they usually call "yellow" to make an adjustment so they can better tolerate/enjoy the session.

Things such as "I am too full..." I need a break...no more orgasms..." these are generally acceptable ways to be whiny or express anxiety....not to make adjustments. If a sub begs not to be orgasmed...that is ignored as that is exactly what she is going to get....and she knows she needs it...or if she begs for orgasm....again, not her decision.

"yellow" is usually for things like a foot/hand going to sleep....a pinch from misaligned restraints....genuine aches such as head aches, back pain, unable to breathe due to congestion. A good dom learns his sub before he takes her very far.

Thanks for the reply.

Eric

"yellow" is usually for things like a foot/hand going to sleep....a pinch from misaligned restraints....genuine aches such as head aches, back pain, unable to breathe due to congestion.

That's all good information. I was always a little unclear about the "yellow" word as well.

Based on your description, "yellow" would have been the right word to use at my last one-on-one bondage session with a guy. I just didn't realize it at the time. I was nude, cuffed, blindfolded and tied spread-eagle and face-up on his bed. My legs were spread really, really wide, more so than I usually am from other doms. At one point in the scene, my left leg started to cramp up really badly. When I told him, he quickly released that leg and allowed me to stretch it. I suppose if he would have ignored my request, I could have called "yellow" to let him know that I really needed some relief.

Jimmy

You nailed it....that situation was entirely aimed at using a soft safeword such as "yellow" . If I read you correctly, except for your leg cramping, you were otherwise enjoying your scene....once the issue was remedied, I assume you were able to continue....you read it spot on. Sounds like you were having a terrific scene.

If I read you correctly, except for your leg cramping, you were otherwise enjoying your scene....once the issue was remedied, I assume you were able to continue

Yes, that's correct. My leg cramping occurred around the middle of the scene and we were able to continue after that. In fact later in the scene, the same leg cramped up again and at that point he just released that leg and left it that way for the rest of the scene. My other leg and my wrists were still hooked to his bed, so there was still no escape for me. 😃 It was a very fun scene and my first time visiting this particular Dom.

My BF has me sit in front of him and we look into each others eyes; in a way he hypnotizes me and takes me back, at least emotionally."

His voice is soft but commanding and confident, "Are you my Little girl?" and I answser, "Yes, I am your little girl, Daddy!" My BF asks and tells me over and over with various phrases such as, "do you like being Daddy's Little girl?" I always answer with my voice getting small and child like. I always keep looking into his eyes and I try to relax and just give up Big Patty and let my lonely little child out. I totally trust my BF so it is easy for me to give up being an adult. Also getting into one of my little girl outfits helps my mood and transition from big girl to little.

Sometimes it helps to lay out a scenario ahead of time and dress up to act the part.

Indeed preparing the roleplay and having at least a rough idea of what is going to happen helps a lot. Ideally, the whole thing is motivated by a common fantasy that you decide to “live” with your partner. If your fantasy is a strong one for both, the excitement should help keeping serious about what is going on. What the rest of the world could think about it is absolutely irrelevant at that point and you can enjoy the very special treat.

It has worked a few times for me and they remain the best experiences you can imagine.

And if at the end of it you laugh with your partner… why not? There’s good intimacy in laughing together too, not just having sex together, isn’t it?