Reality vs. Fantasy

I'm new to the scene, but I have realized that my fetish does not follow me into my every day life, such as my regular check ups and such. Is this normal with other people?

Hi and welcome. I think there will be many for whom the excitement doesn't occur in a "real" life situation.

Hello, Lyla. You have posted an interesting topic. I hope it generates a lot of comments.

As a hetero male who has never been examined by a female doctor, my experience is limited to experience with several female med techs, most notably a young woman who performed an ultrasound of my scrotum.

My reactions to that situation are a little difficult to assess, let alone describe. Prior to the exam, I was apprehensive about the experience being dreadfully embarrassing. I also thought that the humiliation would likely be erotic, at least, after the fact. When I was being taken back to the exam room, I was almost panicky imagining the attractive young lady escorting me was shortly going to be viewing and fiddling about with my boy bits. That was the height of the experience. To make a long story short, the procedure was done so that only my scrotum was ever exposed, the technician did not once touch me directly and she had as much interest in my balls as she would have a frog in biology class. For most of the exam, she was concentrating on the screen as she moved the wand around over my scrotum trying to get a good image. Lying there, I thought I should find this naughty but it just is not.

In retrospect, I do find the memory of the experience slightly erotic. I thought my wife might find it erotic but she seemed to have no interest at all.

So, for me, like you, it is about the fantasy more than the reality.

Lyla, my husband and I have completely separate real and fantasy lives.

Our BDSM and medfet does not enter into our daily lives. It is something we do to have a good time with each other when time permits.

A real life exam isn't at all arousing. It can determine the quality of the rest of your life. A play exam determines how you spend the next few hours.

My fetish does cross over to real life, but is limited to the big sex organ between my ears. Medical professionals do everything they can to limit embarrassment which limits my fetish enjoyment. I do use the experience later...

"I have realized that my fetish does not follow me into my every day life, such as my regular check ups and such."

I think that's somewhat normal, yes. Real life has so many other issues - not wanting to offend the provider, maybe fear if you are there coz you are afraid something is really wrong, and it can just be "all wrong" situation.

My husband and I also have our real and fetish lives. We have fetish fun when we can and never let that get in the way of our responsibilities to our family and our home lives. We have three grandchildren and these little guys take up a great deal of our time. We love them very much and the time we spend with them as we watch them grow will be something we will cherish. When we have time we will plan for some fetish fun. To us it's all about getting things in correct order. When a fetish rules a person's life it's time to fall back and regroup and get things in order.

A writer's comment? Fantasy (medical) does nothing for me, although I read primarily (non medical) fiction, novels, and enjoy them. My real physical exams and the real physical exams of others start the process of fetish. Imagination can replay the reality and then twist it as needed, if needed. Or, perhaps, because I have the fetish in my brain, I experience real exams through those glasses, how would this look if filmed, if watched by another person, if I was able to add a voiceover in my words? I think of all the posts from readers of posts, 'this got me aroused reading it ' Why? Because the account was detailed such that the reader could experience it for him or herself. It didn't try to do that by deviating (the doctor went from examining to having sex with the patient). Good writing does that.

Hey Layla Q,

You are not alone!

My pet fetish is injections. I think about them, fantasize about them, dream about them etc etc however, when it comes to injections in real life, I'm totally chicken!

Lyla Q, you aren't the only one! Some of the stuff that turns me on to fantasize about tends to make me feel quite faint or squeamish to witness or have done to me in reality (sort of like bigshot said about injections). And the more mundane aspects of, say, a check up, don't do much for me when they are actually happening.

To me, the usual interpersonal exchange, with its businesslike manner and complete non-attraction between the professional and me completely (or mostly) keeps it from feeling like an erotic experience at the time. I'm too distracted by conversation or trying to figure out what the nurse or doctor is thinking. It's only later that I think about certain aspects and make them sexy, and even then, not always. Not every medical experience is even the kind I find titillating to meditate upon later. Sometimes during an exam something is done to me that makes me think, "Oh, I bet I'll enjoy thinking about this later!" but I have such a wall of inhibitions up that I make sure not to show it and, on some level, I block myself from even really "feeling" it. (Maybe I'll get over that with time.)

On the other hand, watching almost anything medical being done to my husband, even if it's fairly mundane, gets me aroused immediately. If I'm just sitting on the sidelines observing I am free to secretly enjoy whatever is happening. But when it isn't my husband I feel nothing. I haven't had enough experience to see if I'd enjoy seeing other people I find attractive having to submit to the attentions of a doctor or nurse in real life.

Good question you asked!

It seems like a wonderful ability of the human mind to separate reality and fantasy. It frees us from constraints that would otherwise prohibit us from experiencing certain things.

That's not to say they can't sometimes coincide. Just that if they always had to, life would be less interesting in some ways.

While these experiences, and their effects, vary from person to person, I would venture to guess there are many who share your view. Personally, based on the discussions I've had with those I've shared such interests with, and as some have already mentioned, the erotic manifestations come after the actual real-life encounter. For couples who share an interest in medical fetish, a real-life situation (say the womans' annual check-up) can serve as a catalyst for a very erotic role-play later on. In situations where a couple "play" together, they might share a quiet evening after an actual medical exam or procedure going over in detail what had happened. There are a few I've known who actually get "turned on" during a real exam, but based on my perceptions, they're in the minority.

I noticed the same thing Lyla Q, but it might have been just because it never even occurred to me before that, until afterwards. But I think it would be incredibly embarrassing otherwise, so I hope in the future it will remain separate for me.

I am not very turned on by being a patient in real life.. a little bit, but not much. But I will use things that happened to me as a patient, either in fantasies/stories where they happen to someone else, or in play exams where I'm the doctor.

I feel the same as Dr. Buttz. A real-life exam is not at all arousing to me, though those experiences can provide inspiration for fantasy or play.

As asnmoa says, it's amazing what our brains can do!

For me, it depends on the type of real life situation and where I am in my cycle of fetish. I go through phases of behaviour and involvement and I guess this impacts on my ability to differentiate the two.

It doesnt transfer over at all, i am more scared of real vs the imaginary one. The real ones scare me more because you actually find out information that you may not want to hear

I agree with gamernerd Real exams you usually fine out something that needs addressing, so its very stressful and not very exciting

Reality is real. Fantasy isn't. Brilliant. I have nothing but anxiety and fear when being examined in real life. My subset of medfet only comes into play when fantasizing. Now that is a piece of work.

^^^^ I agree.

A real life exam isn't at all arousing. I enter the room hoping nothing will be found. A real life exam can determine the length and quality of the rest of your life.

A play exam determines how you spend the rest of the evening.

Right on Susie. Play exams are exciting and fun, RL exams are uncomfortable at best and terrifiying at worst.

Reality and fantasy are two very different things. Having these types of fantasies allows you to explore ideas about how it feels to be exposaed or submit to the examination and/or doctor. It is done for pleasure and enjoyment - often times freeing you of having to be in control like in real life.

I agree fantasy and reality are very different. A real exam makes me anxious, nervous and embarrassed if I have to undress. Fantasy allows you to free up your mind and play with your fears

For me, I get excited at play exams, and real exams, though, sadly, I have had only a few of either. In fact I only have to enter a medical building and I'm semi aroused. The problem is that real situations don't satisfy me often as there is no examination, as at my most recent clinic visit where I was expecting one,

However, I did feel faint upon leaving and was rescued by a young male nurse and doctor. Just a shame they didn't fully examine me, that would be a fantasy come true.

My medfet is girls in masks for medical reasons. Every blue moon I see a medically masked girl in public. Four times, I saw young women on the campus of my local university in earloop surgical masks. Three were Asian, and it's pretty typical for them to be less bashful about wearing masks; it's expected in Asia for certain reasons. But one was a tall, white, blonde girl. All of those instances did get my heart racing, but I didn't want to get caught staring.

In 2006, I met a girl with cystic fibrosis that wore two masks during different parts of the evening. One was a matte black silicone cartridge respirator and the other was a "fashion mask", like those Vogmasks that have become popular. When she first gave me a hug at the beginning of the evening, she was in her fashion mask. It was white with a white lace pattern on it and earloops. It really muffled her voice, which sent my heart racing. Later in the evening, she took of that mask and put on her big silicone respirator. Like full gas masks, it muffled her voice even more and magnified her breathing (the cause of annoying Darth Vader jokes)\ at times). My heart slammed into overdrive yet again and I couldn't stop looking at her. The silicone mask pressing her cheeks, the huge black straps keeping the mask in place on her mouth and nose.

Yeah, this fetish can get the best of me if the girl is attractive. If not, or if it is a male, then no. And this seems never to happen in actual hospitals or medical places. I saw a girl in an airport one time. Four other girls at the university. And my old friend was just at a conference hall run by a fraternal order.

I often couch the notion than as individuals we have our vanilla side and then we have our liberating fun creative side of fetish and kinky pursuits and exploration. Reality is many will never dare leave their ingrained vanilla side and those that seek out the fetish and kinky play and life style will also do it at various degrees of intensity.

At a doctors office for me it is just a normal visit and sometimes more but still nothing that is sexually stimulating . Others find the event or parts of it arousing.. For some that is the limit of their fantasy and they will forever stay at the level while to others it is just a beginning into a new world of a myriad of things to partake of.

Fantasies can be soft and fussy or be details and contain elements of jeopardy and fear. Many of us find that those fantasies that give trepidation and even possibly make you tremble a bit are the most powerful and start to wake your endorphins. The results can scare you to back off a bit only to pursue it another time or make you horny an impatient.

The final question is???. Is the imagination of the fantasy better than actually living or experiencing the fantasy.My personal option is often they my last for days or weeks and last for a few hours while making it a reality. The two together make it work well and certainly worthwhile . I never seem to run out of them. Enjoy

The only reason my fetish doesn't follow me into the real exams these days is that my current MD is a man in his 30's, which wouldn't be likely to ring my chimes, even if he did much in the way of auscultation or palpation (which he rarely does) or rectal exams (to date, never.)

Years ago, my doctor was a tall, attractive lady in her early fifties, and I loved it when she would have me lie on my back on the examination table, open my pants and pull down my briefs to where the elastic was just above my cock (pubic hair in view), slide my shirt up out of the way, and palpate me thoroughly in every part of my abdomen. Yum!

Off the cuff i'd say our regular life has boundaries and our fetish life looks to transcend those boundaries. Often sexual associations that aren't culturally acceptable in a professional setting.

i'd make a distinction between "real" and professional. i am a professional with lots of kinks. i don't take those kinks with me with patients in my profession, but one can 'really' experience them with mutual consent.

It doesn't cross over at all for me. And even if it did I would try as hard as I could to keep it in check because that's not what the provider is there for.

It's freaky how separated they are, but how much I like thinking about realism when it's fantasy. Seems like for many poeple the fantasy involves sex between the doctor and pt, but it never does for me.