Want to be spanked hard and regularly

Hello from a naughty girl,

I am in a long term and committed relationship with my wonderful boyfriend. I have introduced him into the idea of spanking and he seemed to get quite into it for a while. However after a period of time I realised that he was only doing it for me. This totally didn't work.We have been together over a year and I love him, and want to make him happy, but I want him to punish me when I am bad, spank my bare bottom hard and put me in the corner. I want him to humiliate me when I deserve it. I feel that this would be showing me love.

Can a spanker be encouraged or is my bare bottom always going to be craving more? Am I forcing him to do something he is not happy with.

Even the thought of him taking control makes me wet. I would do anything for him, but he doesn't want that. He certainly doesn't want to publicly humiliate me which is my ultimate fantasy and what this naughty wet girl deserves.

A spanker can be encouraged when he sees how much it turns you on and when you reassure him that he's not hurting you but that you're loving everything he's doing. Encourage him to spank you harder, buy spanking implements and suggest how they can be used and flirt with him about spanking you. Have him read some of the spanking stories, watch spanking videos or view spanking pics that turn you on and get his reaction to them, even do some overtly sexual things to him to show him how much it turns you on, such as masturbating and letting him watch or suck his cock while he's reading the stories. When he gets treatment to more than one sense at a time, he may relate spanking, sex and fun instead of sex and hurting the one he loves. Leave implements around the house and encourage him to use them whenever he sees fit, even if you have to tell him that you've been bad and deserve to punishment. Wear skirts or dresses and lift them so he has to spank you over or under your panties. His dom side may kick in when he sees how flushed you get. Suggest lying across his lap or being put in time out or the corner whenever you've been bad. Just keep mentioning it and eventually the poor guy will get with the program.

I wish you many happy red and purple bruises on your bottom and the shame of being punished in public.

Dianne

I think you've done the hard part. Getting someone to spank you is more difficult than getting him or her to do it right.

Communication is important. New spankers are often timid, scared of hurting their spankee, or just unfamiliar. Just explaining what you want from a spanking might be helpful.

I'm a spanker. An experienced spanker. I've given hundreds and hundreds of spankings and am very good at it. I can almost always get someone to where they want or need to be. But, I have lots of practice.

As some point, my wife and I decided that it would be beneficial for her to spank me. Very, very rarely, but on occasion. And, the first few attempts were miserable. Baby spankings which were really not worth the effort and frustrated both of us. It took a few spankings and more conversations to get her there. We discussed, with paint charts from the hardware store, what a properly spanked bottom ought to look like before one even thinks about ending the spanking. Then we discussed how one could tell when the spanking got to the effective point and was hard enough... there ought to be deep breathing and legs kicking. Then, we discussed, once spankings got to the effective point, how much suffering one ought to do. It might be appropriate for someone getting a mild spanking to experience five minutes of genuine suffering (the point in the spanking when the butt is really, really sore and the spanking starts being truly effective) and end up light red while someone getting a hard spanking might experience fifteen minutes of genuine suffering and end up deep red. And we discussed how the spanker has to stick to the plan, since the lesson doesn't really start and the submission isn't really submission until the spankee is sore enough that he or she is ready for the spanking to end. And, it took some practice.

But the result is that when I am spanked, and it is rare, it's a real spanking. If I'm told about it before hand, say in the morning or the day before, there's some genuine anticipation. It hurts. And, it's effective.

Hope this helps. As I said, I do think it's a lot easier to get someone to spank you right than it is to get them to spank you. Hopefully through open dialogue you'll soon be having to spend your fair share of nights sleeping on your tummy because yoru bottom so sore!

My girl loves long and hard spankings. I like to have corner time as a brief respite in her spanking only to resume 10 minutes later,

My guy loves spanking! He is into doing what he wants when he wants. I have no idea of any advice for you. I love being humiliated and love even more being spanked in public.

@kinkytanya. .Thinks you're likely to find plenty of good "ad-vice" here @ zity

I recently got a switch to give me a spanking. She did it, but wanted me to spank her too, but I find it very difficult to hurt people, especially women. I'd find it very difficult to spank my girlfriend, even if we loved each other and she wanted me to do it. Just the way I am...

george

I'm in the same boat :/ I am trying more and more to get my husband to expand what we do. It's defiantly working. I encourage him to try it at his speed instead of throwing him in. But he has to try more and new stuff.

Gladly would love to find a man who wanted to spank me hard as he liked and often as he wanted....

Jorgeivus said

I recently got a switch to give me a spanking. She did it, but wanted me to spank her too, but I find it very difficult to hurt people, especially women. I'd find it very difficult to spank my girlfriend, even if we loved each other and she wanted me to do it. Just the way I am...

Don't be a freakin' pussy.

BE A MAN.

I am certain she did something she deserves to be severely punished for.

To the OP, I totally get it. It would not be satisfying to have someone patronize me. They have to enjoy doing it, in fact, the more they enjoy doing it, the more heightened the experience.

Someone cannot do it for me. It has to be something they really like. They can't convince themselves to like it or to play along, or do it because I want it.

@egirlky has great advice.

@seethestories ... What really got me "into" spanking was when she told me that for her, my spanking her was an expression of my love and caring for her and when I neglected to spank her frequently enough she thought I was losing interest in her or didn't care about her deportment.

This is basically what you wrote in your note. Tell HIM exactly how you feel and why you need to be spanked.

Find out why he is reluctant?

Be honest in your communications.

Communication is important in any relationship. I suggest you start hinting to him that you like to be spanked watch mainstream movies like Donovan's Reef, McLintock or Blue Hawaii together and tell him that naughty girls need to be spanked and ask him if he would spank me when I misbehaved.

Start annoying him for the next few days and see what happens if it still doesn’t work. Watch

Secretary or 50 Shades of Grey. This time sit down and communicate with him that some girls love Ike to be spanked like in the movie we watched together.

Wear a sexy dress when you are having this discussion get him in the mood then ask him to spank you. Go across his knees and arched your bottom up and slowly pull your panties down for him and say “Sir, I have been a naughty girl. Please spank me.”

If this don’t work then nothing else will. As you have try your best .

@Jane_Woo I’m not into spanking, but if my wife was and followed your advice, I would most certainly oblige her and probably really get into it and enjoy catering to her needs/desires

It is about good communication, trust, and enough love to please and respect your partner.

Great post, enjoy YOUR spankings too!

Hmm, when I was in my early 20s I always had the opposite problem. I’m pretty submissive but at the time I called myself a switch because I really wanted to explore both sides. Some of the girls I dated I could get to sort-of reluctantly agree to letting me spank them, but the only one that seemed to actually like it turned out to be a complete psychotic mess and a pretty big alcoholic that lied to me about her current relationship status. The rest of them let me do it once or twice, but then decided they thought it was weird. This was before I was on fetlife or anything, so I guess I was just taking shots in the dark with people I knew from my small town.

As for getting spanked I had better luck. It was still a case of not really finding anyone who was really a spanko, but some of them had a more open mind. Still, I only found about one who was interested in doing it regularly but she lived 3+ hours away so it wasn’t a very viable option.

I imagine it must be really hard for a spanko who is already in a committed relationship to try and broach the idea with a partner who doesn’t have the same drives and desires. You love your partner but feel a bit stuck in the mud, and of course you can’t change other people and shouldn’t try to either - nor do I think you should end a relationship over something like this if everything else fits. I am very glad that at some point I decided to start vetting my dates about the idea pretty early on. I knew that it would diminish my chances of finding someone but I felt I didn’t have a choice. Luckily, I struck gold with my current girlfriend.