How to broach?

My problem is that I'm such a submissive that asking for anything takes the turn-on away. I need my man to be in control, to tell me what to do, firmly and gently. My husband is a sweetheart and would love to please me but I honestly as afraid I'm kinkier than he is and I certainly don't want to change him if it's not in his nature. Any advice?

Be yourself

I have the exact same inner conflict but in reverse. Let me know what works for you and I'll try a similar approach with my wife.

[quote author=emoore link=topic=7044.msg120892#msg120892 date=1221849199]

Being normally dominant, I think my wife would grasp the opportunity to trade the submissive/dominant roles. Anyone else with this experience?

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This may not be exactly the same situation but, my wife has no interest in medfet. She knows of my interest and has no problem with my exploring it with like minded friends.

I tried, but my husband is not very creative and more traditional. I suggested things and he will say "let's play doctor" but nothing really happens. Maybe a couple words and from there he goes straight into business.

Gosh, that's a tough one. It is really hard to bring up things like this. I personally am very sub and turned on to the idea of BDSM as well and I've hinted for years but, in having long, heart-to-heart conversations with my husband, I find that he just needed more info and detail. And I guess I was ASSUMING that all my little hints about leather and bondage were enough. Honestly though, it was really not fair of me to expect him to read my mind. After talking about it, I found that to someone who's never gone into it in any manner whatsoever, it is indeed very daunting, and there are so many directions to go with it - where would he start?

So, it's become a great, hot new project - along with getting into the med fetish as well. I think the two worlds actually can go hand-in-hand very nicely.

So, perhaps have a few drinks, get into a hot little discussion of "What is interesting for you? What is interesting for me?" and see how it works?

You might have to end up being the Dom to get this going. And yes, I know how hard that is. It's hard for me but once I get into character, it can be great fun too. It just takes a lot more mental prep for me - it doesn't come naturally. But it is still very hot, actually.

The way I broach this subject is as follows. Has anyone heard of The Diceman- a book about a guy that runs his life with the throw of a pair of dice. I start with this game and have innocuous options such as "go for a picnic" "watch a movie" etc. Then I casually lead the options to bedroom topics- the rules being that you have to go through with the "dice" eventually with a bit of luck Medfet type options get picked. Has worked for me???

Try sending him a special package with a few choice tools. 😁

Well, the question to ask is that as a submissive, one would inherently choose a man more dominant in nature from who they are. Therefore, the need to ask would not even be an issue. That being said, if you husband is sweet and loving and truly cares about your needs, then he will not have a problem being introduced to your sexual needs, whatever they may be.

Although it was a little embarrassing at first ,i read one of the stories to him he listened and we started some simple role play i have always been much kinkier than him.

we have been together for 12 years and i never thought sex with him would ever be so good

give it a go it might change your life