How can I get my boyfriend interested?

Squid????

@Buttwoman Exactly right! Some people spend years, anxiously waiting for the right moment to talk to their spouse about doing XXX, when they could have spent all those years actually DOING XXX if they had asked!

But - there is always the very probable possibility that revealing those urges and kinks will end up ruining everything between both. Honesty and openness is fine of course, but very often it only works in moderation. And it can just as easily rebound and turn out for the worse. So, is revealing everything really worth the risk?

No wonder people will reveal these things on-line. It's anonymous and there is little downside if you end up grossing other people out. You are not in a relationship with them anyway, so what is there to loose? The same can't be said when you are married or in a steady or even occasional relationship. Revealing this kind of thing may mean curtains.

And don't come up with the 'it's probably for the better' excuse, because in the end there are other far more important things in a marriage/relationship than just being able to work out your kinks ...

But - there is always the very probable possibility that revealing those urges and kinks will end up ruining everything between both. Honesty and openness is fine of course, but very often it only works in moderation. And it can just as easily rebound and turn out for the worse. So, is revealing everything really worth the risk?... Revealing this kind of thing may mean curtains.

And don't come up with the 'it's probably for the better' excuse, because in the end there are other far more important things in a marriage/relationship than just being able to work out your kinks ...

This does sometimes happen, which is sad, very sad. I can't think of anything that would cause me to throw out the relationship with my wife if it came up sexually, even though there are things I wouldn't do. We could talk and come up with compromises. For instance, one biggie is sex is only between us. OK, so say she has an interest in being "with a girl" - I'd be willing to dress up and play a girl for her. Similarly if she wanted to see me with a guy that isn't happening, but she could dress up as and play a guy and do me with a strap-on and video it. I'd even do needle play for her if she decided she got of on injections or whatever. Not that it really bothers me (as long as she learns what to do), it's just not a sexual thing for me - but I'd do it for her.

Agracier- It's a complicated question, and I admit my earlier post was simplistic. However, if a couple lives in silent desperation over things they cannot discuss, perhaps that relationship is doomed, or never should have started in the first place.

Any relationship, of any duration, has a reset button floating somewhere above it. You can push it anytime.

"And it can just as easily rebound and turn out for the worse. So, is revealing everything really worth the risk?"

Compatibility has many levels. One of them is sexual. So many people dismiss sexual compatibility as somehow less important than others, and it is the first to go into the 'Oh, well, such is life' file.

Great, you both love gardening, but can't get along in bed- There's a reason to stay together.

Totally agree @Buttwoman. I always think of relationships having 4 required areas of compatibility - money, religion, kids, sex. And they all carry equal weight. A major unresolved incompatibility in one of those areas is bound to doom it.

But - there is always the very probable possibility that revealing those urges and kinks will end up ruining everything between both.. . . And it can just as easily rebound and turn out for the worse. So, is revealing everything really worth the risk?

@agracier Absolutely! Is it better to be very unhappy with a key area of your intimate life for 50 years?? This may also be a bit too simplistic, but I would see a spouse's reactions to an admission of kink going one of 4 ways:

1) They are totally into it or trying it or are kinkier than you! Yeah!

2) They aren't too excited by it, but will compromise or look for solutions because they love you, like @moliere describes.

3) They aren't and won't get into it, but consent to you indulging by yourself to read or use porn or whatever you are doing currently.

4) Are totally disgusted and want to end the relationship.

Now, 3 of those 4 are BETTER or the SAME as what you do now. Only 4) is worse... and is it really worse? Did this person really love you if a kink becomes the end of the relationship? Would someone who truthfully in their heart committed to you for life, END the relationship because you enjoy taking an enema?? Seriously? They'd throw away yrs and yrs of 'happiness' and family because you want them to stick something up your ass?

Of course if your kink is raping women or molesting little girls, then yes, if I was the spouse I certainly would want to know, so I could END the relationship.

Honesty and openness is fine of course, but very often it only works in moderation.

Wow... I just have to totally and completely disagree with this statement. I don't want a relationship where I'm only 'moderately' honest or open with my spouse. I'd much rather stay alone and keep looking!

Is it better to be very unhappy with a key area of your intimate life for 50 years??

I don't want a relationship where I'm only 'moderately' honest or open with my spouse. I'd much rather stay alone and keep looking!

Why the assumption that a particular kink is a key area of someone's life? There are many other things besides that. You can't have it all.

And I don't know if I'd want someone to be completely honest and open either. I don't need to be reminded of my age or looks or lack of specific achievements in life or my unusual taste in food or odd books I like to read and so on. Far better that others don't bother to let me know what they think about things that are secondary in importance. Give a completely honest opinion needlessly once too often and you can very well end up breaking a good thing.

Opinions and honesty are great in moderation.

@agracier

Give a completely honest opinion needlessly once too often and you can very well end up breaking a good thing.

Opinions and honesty are great in moderation.

As I said before communication and timing play an important part in getting someone interested in what you like and / or want to try. In this case it is kink and in my case it is also my kink. I was lucky enough to have my husband being on my same 'wave length' when we started out with exploring our kink. Timing was crucial at this point too and we are lucky that we have that going for us in our marriage. BUT having said that, I have a very good friend outside of our marriage that I could talk to about my own doubts and questions about how my husband would react. She, my friend, was a very good 'sounding board' for me to talk about my marriage and what I wanted to introduce into my, our, sex life.

We are and have been friends for a long time and therefore we don't have any illusions about the 'saintliness' of each other. We also know each other well enough to forgive each other for that '... completely honest opinion needlessly ...' give once too often. My friend and I have crossed that line with each other more times than we can remember but it's OK because we aren't about to divorce each other. We both use each other to 'rehearse' our approach with our husbands or play that 'what if' game so we don't '... end up breaking a good thing.'

Having an 'outside' friend whose own 'timing' is in sync with yours adds to increasing the odds in your favor of getting what you want without breaking a good thing, or a marriage. The kind of friend I am talking about is one who has held my hair or I've held hers after drinking a little too much and who is just as NOT impressed with my idea of who I am as I am with her idea of who she is. Some people would call them 'frenemies' or sisters. 😉

Good communication with your partner and having good timing is vital, as in knowing what to say and when to say it. But the part of knowing how to say it, that is when an intimate friend can help you achieve that. You are spot on @agracier about opinions and honesty being great in moderation. That involves some self control.

Start with him undressing and get in bed. Pull covers back and have him on belly ass up. Take his temp. Rectally by spreading his butt cheeks and inserting a well lubed thermometer. Tell him he has an elevated temp and you need to give him a cool enema. Keep explaining your procedures and tell him it’s all good for him. Be gentle. Good luck. Oh yes, you get into this too after his.

Why the assumption that a particular kink is a key area of someone's life? There are many other things besides that. You can't have it all.

And I don't know if I'd want someone to be completely honest and open either. I don't need to be reminded of my age or looks or lack of specific achievements in life or my unusual taste in food or odd books I like to read and so on.

I believe a persons sexuality IS a key part of who they are and therefore their happiness. If you've kept a kink hidden from your spouse for 30 yrs, obviously it IS very important to you, otherwise you would have dismissed it long ago. It's not just a passing thing you thought about once, it's something that stuck with you for years! It therefore MUST be important to you.

And within the confines of an intimate, committed relationship, I didn't think it necessary to exclude hurtful statements as part of my 'open and honest' argument. Most married folk understand that honest statements like 'Honey, your tits were so much nicer and firmer when you were younger' or 'Darling, I liked when you balls were held tighter to your body, instead of dangling so horribly' are not things to say to a long term partner. But not saying them, doesn't make one 'dishonest' or 'unopen.' Hiding your true desires and thoughts and feelings kinda does...

If he already said you can do whatever you want than I say do just that. You know what's best to keep it fun for him so he maintains this willing to play attitude.

Also I'd say don't get a cheesy sexy nurse get up and just get some scrubs. Where my girl is working now she has to be wearing a specific scrub color so her older ones are now for play. As far as ideas I'd say restrain him with his ass up and take his temperature and follow that up with a good size enema.

Even though he said "do what you want" I'd still come up with your list and clear it with him.

If you have anal play included (based on where you posted this you may) you might want to do some warmup before (for a while before) if you don't do anal play in your "regular" sex times to get him familiar with the sensations and relaxed so he can enjoy it.

If you're doing enemas check on his prior experiences first so you know where he's coming from. Always start mild and small and then work up - major cramps or nausea are not sexy and don't encourage anyone to try again. Let him expel on his own unless it's been discussed before.

Unless you're striving for "legit" you can always add things that would never happen in a doctors office, such as a "fresh semen sample" taken however you want.

If you play your cards right you might be able to do this regularly if that is your desire.

So I keep several laxatives on hand mainly suppositories, enemas, etc. So as far as my suppository supply goes I have glycerin both solid and liquid. So after my last post about giving my bf a suppository while he was jacking off. I noticed when a got a new jar of glycerin suppositories some were missing. I replaced a Walgreen's generic suppositories with fleet. I had a few of the Walgreen's ones left so I put them in the same jar with the new fleet ones. Since the two are different shaped. I noticed the Walgreen's ones were gone. Which makes me believe my bf are using them to help with his constipation. This is great! In our relationship I bottom 95% of the time. One the other 5% I like to dominant him, when I do I want his ass clean and him cleaned out. So I tell him when we are playing "I want you cleaned out". I show him the liquid glycerin suppository and he like a good boy gets on his knees face down so I can give it to him. He gets hard when I give it to him. Then he goes to the bathroom and I wait in the bedroom. So he is getting better with the kinks I'm into.

I would start slow with something like "I went to the doctor today and it was kinda hot. You wanna play doctor tonight and check me out?"

See if that sparks an interest.....