Submissive chick

I'm a sub girl who has never had an ACTUAL master. I've been hurt before during sex and I just try to encourage it but most are scared to hurt me. I've mentioned this a lot. How do I assure them that that is what I want? And to get them to ENJOY the punishments they are giving me.

I think you probably mean you want to experience PAIN during sex, not to be hurt where you have injuries, although a very few people do want to be injured.

Hello subchick.

Sounds like a frustrating issue for you....but a delicate & uncomfortable topic for Masters you may have met?

While every bdsm encounter can deliver a range of mutually beneficial exciting arousing excitment, I cannot imagine any bdsm relationship blossoming or progresssing into anything that can last -without a clearly communicated discussion of: Prefs & Limits.

Of course this list will evolve & grow!!...(isn't THAT one of the biggest expectations of the anticipation for the relationship..!?)...but AFAIC this MUST be discussed; if for no other reason than to abide by SSC.

In traditional "dating" or even referencing back to the times of 'courting', one of the intents of "spending more time with", was to find out among other things, what he/she likes or does not, enjoys or detests, reacts to or does not etc etc...

Now, I can think of more than a few humerous retorts to add to this point, but one of the advantages of seeking out a bdsm relationship is that much if this process can easily be fastracked with a simple discussion of: What are your Preferences & Limits!?

[NB - this does NOT negate or exclude the need for 'dating' & moving slowly and getting to know your partner EVEN in a bdsm hook-up!!]

Thus if you can capitulate what you seek, what you crave, where you want to 'venture, AND your Limits, I am confident you will have better luck finding a Master who will be more comfortable and better equipped to deliver you to the extreme exile you dream of, AND maintaining a Special level of Trust that you will also need to be reassured of.

Switchablesuzie's point is a PERFECT example of this, and I wonder if in previous attempts, if you weren't able to establish this Pref *AND* Limit as clearly as she did; it may be the reason why others were unclear how "far" to go.

Hope that is helpful...?

Enjoy!

::HUGS:: ::HUGS:: ::HUGS:: ::HUGS:: ::HUGS:: I hope you find friends here ::HUGS:: ::HUGS:: ::HUGS:: ::HUGS:: ::HUGS::

I\'m a sub girl who has never had an ACTUAL master. I\'ve been hurt before during sex and I just try to encourage it but most are scared to hurt me. I\'ve mentioned this a lot. How do I assure them that that is what I want? And to get them to ENJOY the punishments they are giving me.

Its all about finding the right Mind i guess and growing it into the Sub/Dom relationship you want we all had to start somewhere .

it was always something that excited me having a sub but to start with it took a good while to find the levels of pleasure and pain that i liked and she liked ,

sometimes there is a fine line between the too

Any way good luck finding the right person 😃

Take it slow and wait for the right person, someone you can really trust. So just don't rush into this and give it time.

To chat with an experienced Master can help.

I do think having a Dom / sub relationship with your bf or partner whom you really love can be a bit awkward or possibly they will hold back in discipline or pain sessions. Just my personal thoughts. I do believe finding a Master / Mistress who will test you to find your limits ... will take you beyond what a loving partner would do for or to you.

Just now crossed my mind,how much you want to be hurt,is it what scares them?

A description of punishment should help me to understand.

You need to have good communication first, and you have to have already built trust in your Master. Then, you will be free to allow your Master to bring you to the point he thinks you need to be. Masters don't take kindly to being told they are doing something wrong. Yes, you should have a safeword in case it gets too extreme, but in my experience, it has never helped my situation to tell them they were being too easy. Also, it's possible you weren't with a true dominant or a true master. If you were, they should have known how much more you needed to arouse you or take you to sub-space. They should be able to follow your body language and give you exactly what you need.

My suggestion is patience. So far in my life, I've only personally met two true dominants. Most of the others were pretty fake. I could feel it. Patience, good communication, and trust is the recipe to follow in this case. Well, that's my prescription anyway... LOL! I wish you the best of luck!