Homosexualizing of straight or bi guys

I take exception with the concept of conversion. People are born who they are. You can't convert someone into something they are not.

You can introduce someone to an alternative behavior, sure, but if they don't like it, there's nothing you can do about it.

I am new here & only read the first 2 posts, but I lived in an Santa Cruz 83-85 in which there was a very large gay per capita population. I looked young (& cute) & I frequently encountered lecherous middle aged men who often asked me if "how do you know if you are not gay if you hadn't tried a guy?" Which was their way of telling me they wanted to fuck me up the ass themselves & be the "guy" to convert me. Their logic (that homosexuality is an aquired taste) is PRECISELY the same bigoted attitude that the Evangelical Right use to justify their denigration of gays-- that it's a choice. I really found those encounters in Santa Cruz profoundly offensive & it brings to mind the saying, "when you're a hammer the whole world's a nail".

. . . I frequently encountered lecherous middle aged men who often asked me if "how do you know if you are not gay if you hadn't tried a guy?" . . .

Of course their question was ridiculous. If you were gay, you would know and someone wouldn't have to ask you or cajole you into trying something you might not want to do.

Hi Sue,

You are Right!!!! As You said,"If you are gay, you would know...." Just the opposite,"If you are straight, you would know....." Funny how that goes, just like you mentioned about the episode with your gay friend and ruining your friendship with him, I had a gay friend who only "Approached me for an encounter" which I denied!! That was the very first time in my life, (I was just 20 years old) that I was approached "Sexually by a MALE!!" and the thought was just so "Foreign" to my Psyche!! That was "The moment of Truth" that it was Girls, Ladies, Dames, Women, Babes, F-E-M-A-L-E-S!!!!! that "Turn me on!!!!! Sorry Dudez, Dickz, Don't Do IT!! Fortunately I convinced my "Gay Friend" that in spite of my denial of his approach,"He was still my friend!".....and that took a while!.................

Might I digress and go off on a tangent without starting another thread, Boyz and Girlz, we all start out as Girls!!! It's the old X-Y thing!! If that Fertilized Ovum has an "X-Y" gene set up it still starts out "X-X" until that pesky "Y" gets a foot hold, then it's all over except for the Shouting!!!!!! Guyz, we got "TITS!!!" and if you look close at your nut sack there's that little ridge line that would be the opening to our "VAGINA!!!!" And Ladies, needless to say that little nubbin we call a "Clit" would otherwise be a "DICK!!!!!!" Quit fightin' accept who you are and let everybody else be who they are!!! I wrap my arms around myself and say,"I Love Me for who I am!!" And Boyz and Girlz, until you can do the same, you can't Love Someone else!!

The Defense Rests,

highwater-out

I take exception with the concept of conversion. People are born who they are. You can't convert someone into something they are not.

You can introduce someone to an alternative behavior, sure, but if they don't like it, there's nothing you can do about it.

I suspect that the idea is based on the (probably unproven) premise that people have the possibilities of being both gay and straight on a sort of sliding continuum that can go from mainly one or the other, but without reaching the extremes of exclusivity.

As an idea it sounds sensible, but in practice it leaves out the effects of social conditioning, which can go a long way toward modifying a person's preferences and predilections.

And the concept of conversion is also probably just an inappropriate choice of words - the theme seems to be that people are repressed in their sexuality and need an eye-opening experience to realize their full potential. Well, maybe yes and maybe no ... it's not as if we are living in Victorian or pre WWII times any more. Many things of a sexual nature can now be discussed in the open that were previously impossible.

Hi Sue,

You are Right!!!! As You said,"If you are gay, you would know...." Just the opposite,"If you are straight, you would know....." Funny how that goes, just like you mentioned about the episode with your gay friend and ruining your friendship with him, I had a gay friend who only "Approached me for an encounter" which I denied!! That was the very first time in my life, (I was just 20 years old) that I was approached "Sexually by a MALE!!" and the thought was just so "Foreign" to my Psyche!! That was "The moment of Truth" that it was Girls, Ladies, Dames, Women, Babes, F-E-M-A-L-E-S!!!!! that "Turn me on!!!!! Sorry Dudez, Dickz, Don't Do IT!! Fortunately I convinced my "Gay Friend" that in spite of my denial of his approach,"He was still my friend!".....and that took a while!.................

Might I digress and go off on a tangent without starting another thread, Boyz and Girlz, we all start out as Girls!!! It's the old X-Y thing!! If that Fertilized Ovum has an "X-Y" gene set up it still starts out "X-X" until that pesky "Y" gets a foot hold, then it's all over except for the Shouting!!!!!! Guyz, we got "TITS!!!" and if you look close at your nut sack there's that little ridge line that would be the opening to our "VAGINA!!!!" And Ladies, needless to say that little nubbin we call a "Clit" would otherwise be a "DICK!!!!!!" Quit fightin' accept who you are and let everybody else be who they are!!! I wrap my arms around myself and say,"I Love Me for who I am!!" And Boyz and Girlz, until you can do the same, you can't Love Someone else!!

The Defense Rests,

highwater-out

You're right - and wrong. The egg has an X chromosome - always, mom has 2 X chromosomes. The sperm has either an X or a Y because dad has one of each. The normal embryo has either an XX or XY configuration. That's set at the moment of conception.

Developmentally, the fetus has female genitals until they reach a certain stage of development when the genitals follow the instructions from the chromosomes. Of course there are various dysfunctions and diseases, I'm referring to a normal child.

Sexual orientation is felt to be determined by endocrine influences on the brain during gestation. The idea of homosexualizing another is patently ridiculous. We are what we are and nothing can change it.

Developmentally, the fetus has female genitals until they reach a certain stage of development when the genitals follow the instructions from the chromosomes. Of course there are various dysfunctions and diseases, I'm referring to a normal child.

They really aren't "female" genitals at any point in boy embryos. They are simply not fully differentiated early on and may LOOK female.

Based on the post to which I was replying, I didn't want to get overly technical.

I went from straight to gay in one evening and there was no looking back! I always had fantasies about gayness and liked to look at nude guys in the showers, in nudist magazines and the occasional x-rated adult theater. I liked to wear abbreviated and stylized clothing and in particular, swim briefs. I looked and felt different from other young men, but, I still dated girls to please my mother, who pushed me along that hetero route, hoping I would eventually find the perfect marriage.

That was not to be. One day a neighbor took notice of me and invited me to watch TV with him. We lay together in his bedroom on a king-size bed and watched a tape. It was a warm summer evening and I was wearing short shorts, no underwear, and a sleeveless top. He was wearing just gym shorts. After a time, we went to the kitchen and he and I drank Coca-Cola. Back to bed to watch more and I started getting drowsy. I closed my eyes for a time and my host began to stroke my back, then my arms and legs. It felt good. I felt a tug on my shorts. I lifted my body and my shorts were slid off. I was naked and it felt great! What followed was an hour or so of sheer ecstasy. When it was all over I had the best orgasm in my whole life thanks to this most kind neighbor. There are some very nice, loving people on this Earth and that is especially true for gays.

I went from straight to gay in one evening and there was no looking back! I always had fantasies about gayness and liked to look at nude guys in the showers, in nudist magazines and the occasional x-rated adult theater. I liked to wear abbreviated and stylized clothing and in particular, swim briefs. I looked and felt different from other young men, but, I still dated girls to please my mother, who pushed me along that hetero route, hoping I would eventually find the perfect marriage.

That was not to be. One day a neighbor took notice of me and invited me to watch TV with him. We lay together in his bedroom on a king-size bed and watched a tape. It was a warm summer evening and I was wearing short shorts, no underwear, and a sleeveless top. He was wearing just gym shorts. After a time, we went to the kitchen and he and I drank Coca-Cola. Back to bed to watch more and I started getting drowsy. I closed my eyes for a time and my host began to stroke my back, then my arms and legs. It felt good. I felt a tug on my shorts. I lifted my body and my shorts were slid off. I was naked and it felt great! What followed was an hour or so of sheer ecstasy. When it was all over I had the best orgasm in my whole life thanks to this most kind neighbor. There are some very nice, loving people on this Earth and that is especially true for gays.

You weren't switched in one night from straight to gay. You said you always had gay fantasies.

You were ALWAYS gay but never acted on it until that one night.

I think most blokes want to get an orgasm, it's more about demonstrating their sexual prowess, being the alpha dominant male. For me as a bottom I like to be able to satisfy the one on top.

This thread is bringing out some very intense and emotional responses, in addition to a biology class refresher. For me, "gayness" seems to go far beyond the enjoyment of same sex activities. I have never been attracted to a man in any sort of romantic way, and have honestly never felt attracted to any man I have ever met or even seen in a social setting. On the other hand, I was very curious about male genitalia as an adolescent, which continued sporadically throughout adulthood. Probably twenty years ago, via the internet I came to enjoy all the newly available porn sites, and I had all the male cocks and butts I could ever want to see. This fueled those old curiosities, and over the past six years I have taken that leap and engaged in oral sex with a handful of other older married guys that were experiencing much what I had been through. I found it to be extremely exciting in a taboo sort of way, as well as quite satisfying. I am still very much attracted to women as I have always been, but now I must say that men, naked ones at least, hold an attraction as well. In short, I don't think of myself as gay, but rather bisexual. I know that many, many people think this is a cop out, but it is how I view my feelings. One step beyond - I really don't give much thought to "labels" regardless of the issue.

Actually, throughout the past couple of years, I've found a lot of older men have started out as "curious", eventually to reach a point where they at least experiment, and even start to get deeply involved with other guys. Like Slowhand, they're still predominantly into women. but, as the original post indicated, "It could take weeks to get into a girl's pants,but moments for two guys to get it on, without any drama or BS. And the sex is usually more intense, due to the nature of guys."

Once guys discover this phenomenon, and believe it to be true, it seems to trigger involvement with other men, which had never happened to them throughout their entire lives until "now". And it's not that they've lived their lives in a closet. It's more that they become open to more as they reach a certain level of maturity. And also where the availability or opportunity of sex with another woman starts to wane, guys then seem to be just more convenient for mutual gratification.

I really don't give much thought to "labels" regardless of the issue.

I also don't have much regard for labels. A man can be gay in many facets, while on the other hand, a man may not otherwise be gay in any facets but yet participate in a gay activity. Which i don't think necessarily makes one "gay", though i'm sure others would disagree. And that's precisely why I don't have much regard for labels. The waters are too muddy for labels, and i think that's just as well.

I've been brought back to this dead thread by the notification that someone liked a post i wrote, now 3 years ago. What a difference 3 years makes !

3 years ago at this time, I was just bi curious. I had been chatting with older men online, contemplating what sexual experiences with them would be like. But not ready to actually meet. That wouldn't happen for another 9 months or so, and then only 2 more sexual occasions men in the ensuing year after that.

Having not had any experience sexually with men at the time, I am quite surprised in how accurate what I posted was. I seemed to "get it" without actually having been through the experience myself.

The acts are technically homosexual in nature, but the men I get involved with don't act gay. It seems to be like a session of mutual gratification for a period of time, and then going our separate ways until maybe a next time. Very clean and simple that way.

I know several gay men who do not "act gay", "look gay" or have any gay affectations. They are businessmen and you would never know they are gay if you saw them outside the bedroom.

After reading lots of post about bi, now I'm kinda bi curious too. I've tried talking to my gay friend but he isn't saying anything. Should I tell him I'm bi curious and would like to try?

After reading lots of post about bi, now I'm kinda bi curious too. I've tried talking to my gay friend but he isn't saying anything. Should I tell him I'm bi curious and would like to try?

Don’t know what you meant by “tried talking to him”. Tell him you’re curious and see where it goes. He may or may not be interested. Don’t risk your friendship if he’s not interested. Just roll with it!

This is the website that actually influence me to wanna try it too.

https://mrracy.com/sex-guy-not-gay/

As for my previous post. I was trying to ask my gay friend if maybe we can try it. But then he doesn't want to talk anything about sex or anything he usually just ignore me. But previously he talks to me about how he was sleeping with this guys. Our friendship was kind of over due to some other things happening in life

As for my previous post. I was trying to ask my gay friend if maybe we can try it. But then he doesn't want to talk anything about sex or anything he usually just ignore me. But previously he talks to me about how he was sleeping with this guys. Our friendship was kind of over due to some other things happening in life

Sounds like he might have a boyfriend or relationship. I’m sure in Singapore there are gay/bisexual guys you could find. I’d recommend waiting a while till this COVID thing dies down (if ever). Be careful! Don’t allow your curiosity to let your “little” head trump your more practical “big” heald! You’re young, there will be other opportunities! ?

This is the website that actually influence me to wanna try it too.

https://mrracy.com/sex-guy-not-gay/

a quote from the linked article:

Meet Dan

For reference, he is a straight, married, heterosexual male who LOVES pussy. He also LOVES prostate play. . . . . Beyond prostate stimulation, he also discovered that being penetrated by a man had benefits he never expected. First and foremost, he discovered that another guy’s cock was a great tool for prostate pleasure. . . . .

The writer and subject of the article is full of crap.

If the guy likes prostate play that does not make him homosexual or bisexual. Plenty of heterosexual men love prostate play, including my "straight as an arrow" husband. Where the article goes to shit is when the author states, "Beyond prostate stimulation, he also discovered that being penetrated by a man had benefits he never expected. First and foremost, he discovered that another guy’s cock was a great tool for prostate pleasure." At that point he crossed the line into bisexuality. A straight person would love a dildo, fingers or fist used by a WOMAN to stimulate his prostate, NOT a man's cock. That's where the definition of "heterosexual" was broken in the article. "Dan" is lying to himself about being heterosexual when it comes to liking a MAN'S cock in his ass. A man can love anal penetration, but the person doing it has to be a woman. The only exception to this is the man himself. He can stick anything he wants in there and be straight.

For all you people who DON'T like labels, you might be lying to yourself about your own sexuality, and YES YES YES, labels are needed to keep all the ducks and definitions in a row.

For all you people who DON'T like labels, you might be lying to yourself about your own sexuality, and YES YES YES, labels are needed to keep all the ducks and definitions in a row.

But who decides how the label is defined so that there is a label? That is what I am wondering.

Some have very narrow definitions, while others have a more broad, far reaching label.

Shouldn't labels have some relevance to the current views of sexuality?

But who decides how the label is defined so that there is a label? That is what I am wondering.

Unlike several other languages (like French or Dutch) there are no institutions that have any say in how the English language should be used, except through the example of their trustworthiness. They may issue learned and weighty pronouncements on how they think or believe English should be used, or how they have observed English being used.

But they have no authority whatsoever in enforcing much of anything they say. All they have is their reputation.

English usage is defined by consensus. As soon as there is a sizeable number of English speakers using words in this or that particular way, then that particular way becomes the correct usage.

Obviously this means that English is a fast evolving language, with usage and definitions changing within an average person's lifetime.

This also means that there is an awful lot of arguing going on over what some words mean. But with no one in authority to decide what is correct or not, these debates will go on and on until some sort of consensus is hopefully agreed on. Or not. In areas that concern fast changing mores and values, especially sexual, don't expect much of a consensus to ever really evolve. Especially since value judgements enter into definitions.

Btw, as an addendum, while the Academie Francaise or the Dutch Taalunie have the weight of actual national law behind them, they don't work much better at keeping the languages in stasis either. These evolve just like English, but perhaps at a somewhat slower pace. Their linguistic findings are however considered to have the force of law in that whatever they decree to be correct language usage, has to be implemented in schools, government and the civil service.

Coming back to topic: I luckily had two dates in the past. One guy called himself straight but was interested in getting blown and stimulated by a male the other one called himself bisexual and liked prostate massage additionally. I could convince both to fuck me. Especially the straight guy first hesitated but while doing he really enjoyed. With both it was only one-night-stand but an interesting experience

I have come to the conclusion that I would be interested in some play with another guy. I have never had the opportunity, nor have I thought about it up until recently. Would like prostate play and penetration. Both giving and receiving.

Regarding this topic, it reminds me that sometimes I used to think that gay guys are lucky cause they can just get to the sex straightaway. But then I can say that a number of women I’ve dated, once that threshold was crossed, were just as ravenously, unapologetically, openly sexual as any guy. I’ll never “become” homosexual but admit that if my girlfriend honestly said ‘I want to watch a guy fuck you’ I would consider it.

Also I’ve had enough negative experience with labels on Zity to tell you: you will never satisfy or convince certain Zity members of their righteous certainty about other people’s sexuality.

I’ve labeled myself here at different times as both Heterosexual and then Heteroflexible, only to have people WHO HAVE NEVER MET ME tell me I’m wrong about how I describe my own sexuality. I was the one being attacked, yet when I tried explaining myself, a moderator-who-shall-remain-unnamed sent me a PM instructing me to “calm down”. Later on in that same thread that moderator allowed continued hostile posts toward other members.

I nearly deleted my account that day, but then decided that the people and conversations I enjoy on Zity are worth more than the reaction of one _________ moderator.

Actually I just haven't got off on the fantasy I've done it a number of times I've had older married or divorced men want me to be their first guy.

I'm usually in janitor or mechanics work clothes and pants knit boxers White Sox wife beater work shoes a beer and cigar.

I got panties and stockings from medium to xxxl and somebody shoots in different bras and clothing. Dress them up give him some swats with the school's paddle. Maybe the doggly leash.

Getting my beer God damn it light my fucking cigar and suck my goddamn dick.

maybe I'll fuck on that they're wanting to try that and for all the hell of it I'm really gentle on them.

If it's their first time they usually stop pretty quick. that's amazing how many go home and cry cuz they're fat boys now and then they come back to weeks later cuz they damn well want it.