Old topic for revisit.

I have noticed over the past couple weeks of having a new caregiver in my home, that she is starting to pat my diapered bottom like you would with a toddler in diapers. I have not said anything because I love it, but why do women do this? Lilly my caregiver has had no problems with my disposable diapers and as of late we have been using my cloth diapers and plastic pants. That is when she started patting my bottom and checking my diapers like a toddler's diaper rather than just asking me if I needed changing.

I have also caught her out the corner of my eye giggling quietly to herself after seeing me walking around in my diapers and pajamas. I know she has seen the Nuk 5s in my hall closet and some of my diaper outfits.

Well, I'm not into diapers myself but I have observed a related phenomenon which I believe may shed light on your own.

As a wheelchair user, I have lost count of the number of times someone has come up to me in the street and patted me on the head, sometimes even offering me a sweet (candy). So frequent an occurence was this at one time that I remember thinking - around 30 years ago - 'the next person who comes up, pats me on the head and offers me a sweet, I am seriously going to thump them one'. I always managed to resist the temptation though!

Now I am in my 40s I have calmed down a bit, so the last time it happened - around 2 years ago - I just smiled sweetly - albeit through gritted teeth - and took the offered candy. I have even been kissed on the head as a farewell - by the eleven year old daughter of a friend of mine - exactly as an adult to a child!

My thinking on this phenomenon is this -

Sitting in my wheelchair, my eye level and apparent height are around those of a six or seven year old child. There is something in the human mind which equates height with age, therefore I am automatically viewed as a child despite the fact that I am patently not one. I believe the same psychology is at work in the phenomenon you have observed, namely the equating of diapers plus ambulant with toddler. Hence treating you like one.

btw all those who have treated me thus have been female. Is this so with your caregivers, or have you also observed males following this pattern of behaviour?

Primarily women have been the participants in my bottom patting except for Stanley. He is a want to be women as soon as he has the money for his surgery. I have noticed that almost everyone wants to pat or touch a pregnant women's tummy. I guess it is all that touchy feely thing and pretty much a big warm and fussy in my books. Lilly my Caregiver seems to get a chuckle out of it when she does it to my bottom.

I myself believe it's because girls and women and especially grandmas love to leel the softness of the plastic panties over the squishiness of thick bulky cloth diapers both dry and even more sooping wet. I would love ts a toddler having my cousin and my aunts coming up ands surprizing me with little pats and squeezes of my plastic panties diapers and asking if I was wet or poopy, and as I got older girls from kindergarten feeling my soggy diapers and plasdtic panties and run away while laughing at me and calling me a pee pee pants or poopy pants baby. I would love to have girls and women notice my bulky behind through my shorts in the summer and jeans the rest of the year and ask "did our wittle baby go pee pee in hims pampers",not knowing that I am wearing cloth diapers and plastic pants under them and when they yank down my pants and see my droopy cloth diapers and my yellow or pink plastic panties they can't keep their hands off of them

Not sure what it is. But as a former patient in hospitals and many dr visits for different stuff i can say its not unheard of to have this done to you. Many of times i have had nurses pat my diaper after a changing. Usually on the butt area, but sometimes on the front right above the groin area. Specially at my urologist (them nurses seem to be the most prone to do it to you).

Why they do it is unknown to me, I think its because they like the sound or the feel of them. Could be a embarrassing type deal where they feel dominant over you and want to let it be known, who knows.

But i did notice that some of my nurses seemed to have really liked putting me into diapers. The latest one (who i swear was getting off on it) while in for a heart attack would check me more then any other nurse i had over my medical history. Always made the comment of "do you need a change" or "are you wet sweetie".

And when changing me always made a big deal out of it. did everything slowly and very well powdered and ointment rubbed in. This is the same nurse who would finish diapering me and after patt the front of my diaper above my groin area and say "there all nice n clean" while making the diaper crinkle by her patt's!!! Could have been a motherly instinct to her, or thing of looking at you like a child.

I find most nurses in hospitals especially, seem to think because i am in need of diapers i dont have the brain power to get embarrassed. I have had my diapers changed while a roommates family is present in the room, and i have been changed with my door and curtains wide frikin open for anyone passing thru the hall to see it. I have had diaper checks like a toddler while sitting in the hallway in a wheel chair (walk up grab your crotch and give a lite squeeze), while others visitors or dr's or whoever were passing where i was sitting.

So as far as nurses go i think its a caregiver mentality of "my charge and i will check & change how i want" deal to them. If its in diapers it needs to be treated as a child.

But there are some who you know darn well that just must enjoy putting people in diapers for one reason or another. Who knows maybe they cant have children of their own so they use you as it.

Your care giver may think your cute or something. As for you Amy they just might be trying to lighten your situation. I for one I have not been in situations like that but my friends have done things I normally would not expect from them. I just think it's a sign of compassion.

Hell I just sat and had a cup of morning coffee with Lilly and we talked about it.

Lilly herself had wondered if it had bothered me while she was caring for me. She tells me that she was no longer shy about helping me and it seem to come naturally.

I could see the changes in my care as we became more familiar with each other. Diaper changes and injections of medications became conversation time for the two of us.

Lilly does admit to me she feels very accomplished and in control when she has someone helpless in the diaper changing position. She thinks that her bottom patting reinforces her dominance over me, it reminds me of whom is really in charge.

question;

How many of us have found ourselves feeling very helpless when we are flat on our backs. The cold plastic of a diaper changing mat under your bottom the whole time your liberally dusted with baby powder. Soon you will be suffering the humiliation of a clean and dry diaper pinning. With this done the final blow to your ego, your allowed to stand, only to be helped into a pair of plastic pants. Yeah! I would feel helpless.

Further investigation and research required 😉

LOL been there done that. It's what started this whole ab/dl thing out. Laying in a hospital bed at 20 and not being able to even lift your neck or turn to help the nurses change YOUR diaper is embarrassing. But like it has been said it does become kind of natural after a while. My nurses did it for me because they were in charge of me and what happens to me .

I think you hit the nail on the head boys when you said, "it comes naturally". That in fact it does.

While I can't exactly explain why this particular action happens as apposed to others but I am guessing it's because women have a primal instinct to "mother" and be care takers of younger or weaker, perhaps sickly things. It's what women of our species do. What I find most interesting is that even women who have not had children of their own still exhibit this primal reaction. Psychologically speaking, I find it very interesting.

Elf and mama, not sure if you have noticed this or not with some of your care givers, but when they take care of you, especially when changing your diaper, they may have a somewhat higher pitch in their voice. Again, this is often I believe a natural response that happens when a woman takes care of a "baby" or someone who needs to be cared for like a baby. Not that we think of you as such, but changing a diaper on any human no matter what their age usually makes us, even at a subconcious level, view that person as a baby, causing us to speak in a somewhat higher pitched voice.

I have watched other nurses do this and other things when caring for a patient in a hospital, more so to men patients than women oddly enough. I have also seen them do other things that would mimic maternal touchings as well like running their fingers through their hair on the side of their head, or rubbing the inside of their inner thigh while telling them everything was going to be okay. And they do so without thinking, or thinking anything about doing it. It's just a natural response. And I am sure after they rub their had up the inside of their inner thigh the guys have a "natural response" too, lol. But that's another story.

Hope this helps.

Mashie

Hmm never noticed a higher pitched voice, but could have been not to sure about that one. But yes they (my nurses at least) seemed to touch allot before and after a diaper change lol. Freaky now that you mention it. Never even thought about why they did it until you just mentioned it. I just thought they were being nice and comforting me in a time of distress while doing a embarrassing thing to a adult. Wish you nurses were that nice when RIPPING out a cath though .

Speaking from not that much experience with a "caregiver", I do believe what Mashie says is the thing. I think it is a natural for woman to react in such a manner in that situation. I do also believe, there is a flip side to the coin. Lets say if it were female patient, and a male caregiver was going the same. I think though, a male caregiver would have to exercise extreme restraint, as a female patient might jump to the wrong conclusion about a diaper pat. But I don't think that it doesn't mean that a male caregiver, wouldn't be thinking in a fartherly fashion, only wanting to give a pat.

Mashie you are soo smart and wise. I find a lot of what you say to be enlightening and educating in a way. I'm glad us "babies" have someone like you to help us understand certain things.

Babyboy, lol. You made me smile tonight. I needed that more than you can even imagine. Thank you. I have always been pretty observent of people and really enjoy watching them and how they react to things. I guess that's why I love psychology as much as I do. Sometimes not everything I say is 100 percent true, but more so my simple observations. Then I try to tie them together with one part common sense, one part observation, and one part application to what I know about human/animal psychology. It's fun for me, and my goodness you can learn a lot just by watching people.

So I give you a karmic bump for brightening my day 20>21, but I am also giving you a couple of little pats on your diapered fanny in appreciation.

Mashie

Right now where I live in Verdun, a burough of Montreal,they had a week of sidewalk sales and there were a least a 1000 people with babies and toddler. and pretty,attractive women and girls of all ages and I can't count the times when I was wearing and peeing in my cloth diapers and plastic pants,which I wore under shorts and wished that most of those beautiful females would come up and give my plastic pantied diapered bottom a few good pats and squeezes to see and feel my soggy wet bottom and laugh as thsy ask if the big sissy baby needs a diaper change.

That you Mashie! I love pats to my diapered bum. Thank you so much! I'm happy I made your day!

It's so much a thing of "Set and Setting" to me as being ""Erotic" or merely icky, with cases of it being melting erotic and others producing a "What the ..." incomprehension of how dare they do _that_ uninvited. Obviously there's a degree of perhaps explained by situational past experiences where the relationship was indeed an age boundary involved. But. There's also an over or undertone of some folks needfully defining dominance or submission into a caregiver and patient interaction. Or the same with a random touch and few words from Perfect Strangers? Making our day or making us wish they'd never been born.

Not all of this is even remotely kink.

I have been going through a time of life long continence fails being aggravated by cancer recovery. Details elided but- sometimes daily use of rather bulky underthings places me squarely into the zone of someone seeing and feeling it thus safe to touch me. Which might be rewarded with my perceiving the innocent to them- pat on my bottom as they're being just a pickpocket to be dealt with accordingly.

For some of us it's a life necessity on par with any other medical device usage. Comparable even perhaps to a woman's need for bulky sanitary protection. Or perhaps it's even more topical to do some other comparisons. Touching a pregnant woman's abdomen? Thinking aloud, this may be part&parcel of conditional assumption that someone need not ask consent in situation X? A case where - what's being presumed as unremarkable OK to do absent even a "Can I?" consent check. Or even the most cursory pauses to think if we're five years old- or old enough to be treated in an age appropriate fashion. There's a hugely vast difference between the "touching aroused" emotions knowing how someone is perceiving me.

Oh- the most clinically detached Caregiving by a medical professional can be re mapped in our minds to erotica and it can stay safely in our minds. It's often a question. Or if it is or is not- not worth the emotional or other risks to even let a flicker of facial expression betray that .. It felt. So very good.

Same with those random pats or head kisses and the offer of a sweet etc. As even if it's warmly intended, it's still and all often an exasperating dismissal of us as "us" in many ways. Hand waving away our being so much more than their shallow first glance. Is it a category of "Othering" that was baked into social fabrics from the handling of infants on?

The closer to me - I'd safely wager that so many folks on both sides of such encounters may not have our awareness of implications.

Both of my playpartners mummy jade and auntie sasha are into patting my botty when I'm in my diapys and rhumbas.

Mummy is into patting me after I've done a poopy and likes me to where pastel satin rhumbas whilst auntie sasha dresses me in crinkly plastic rhumbas and giggles at what a little sissy I am 😃.

Capybyra,

I too am a survivor of Cancer and still in the final stages of my battles. Third round of Chemotherapy coming in a month for Osteosarcoma. You struck upon a lot of points that have a lot of personal experience and validity in my own experiences. I would have to say that if an individual had not experienced what I am experiencing , and you have obviously experienced they would not gather much from your informed statements.

The question that comes to my mind is, who are we to measure what is kink in one persons mind in direct comparison to another? Unless we are that individual, which we are not, how can we say what turns their sexual wiles?

All people become conditioned by their environment and the conditions they have to live in. In the case of major illness or incarceration the human animal adapts. Things that may start off as ichy soon can become somewhat erotic or in most cases made light of. At this point if the person receiving care for their medical condition IE diapers erotica may become associated with the experience. Tactile contact during illness can be very erotic for the person receiving care. A point you have touched on, will anyone want to even touch me while I am in this condition or need of care? We have all heard of the Patient and Dr. Infatuations that develop in clinical situations.

You have also stated something I find very interesting the submissive and dominant roles that have a great role in Caregiving. I had an experience in hospital with a rather large lady nurse that was quite strong in her manners and changed my diapers for me. I felt almost like she was controlling me and going to punish me for wetting my diapers. In her coarse ways she communicated her duties to me while changing me the whole time almost man handling me. My theories about her went out the window when she kissed her finger after covering back up with my covers in bed and touched my forehead. As she walked from the room she smiled and told me to ring my night bell if my diapers need more attention. I would have been her sub going forward from that point.

Thank You for your comments, learned participations are always welcome. Karma point for you.