What parents and other adults are allowed to teach the young people

The parents and other adults are not only allowed but partly obliged to teach the young people a lot of things that are essential to her life as adults, this with one exception: the sexual intercurse. There exist two barriers in realizing this:

- the incest-barrier

- the marital faithfullness

According to the fact that the women are infertile beyond the menopause in contrast to this the men may be fertile far beyond the middle age. So the men are excluded to this, but exclusively women beyond the menopause - these ones out of the membership to a family regulated by the rules of the incest-barrier - may be suited to this.

Post-menopausal women suited to what? Actually having sex with young people to teach them about intercourse? I know there are some cultures in which adults, not limited to post-menopausal women, do this, but if you're trying to start a discussion on how adults should have sex with minors because sex is an essential part of adult life, that's NOT going to happen here.

Unfortunately, the laws force the blind to lead the blind, and we must all follow them.

The blind leading the blind, isn't that part of growing up? Not to go off-track, but my daughter lost her virginity when she was 14 to a 19-year-old. The young "man" promptly became intimately acquainted with the statutory rape statutes in this state, courtesy of yours truly. Hmmm, I wonder if he's out of prison yet. That's just one more reason that one who is more experienced (or just plain stupid) shouldn't take matters into their own hands.

This is probably not smart of me to comment on, but I was really surprised by the ccmment below. Was your 14 year old physically raped, or did she consent to sex with this 19 year old, and please do not lecture me that a 14 year old cannot consent. Legally, 14 year olds are not judged to have the "mental capacity" to consent, but in some states, 14 is the ago of consent. I never had sex with anyone under age and I was a virgin until age 19, almost 20, but as an adult, an attorney, a father, etc., I know darn well that a 14 year old can literally consent. Did you know your 14 year old was seeing a 19 year old young man? If you didn't, how did she come in contact with him? And do you really think sending a teenager to prison and putting him on a sexual predator list for his entire life is something to be proud of? 100 years or so ago, girls got married at 14. Today, girls sexually mature at a younger age, and many if not most girls lose their virginity at 15. I am not advocating that this is a good thing, it is just reality. But sending a young "ma" to prison is not something to be proud of. If he forced her etc., then that is a different story. But I have seen too many cases where parents allow their 14 and 15 year old high school age freshman or sophomore daughters to "date" boys 4 or 5 years older, and then, when things go "bad", i.e., the girl gets pregnant, suddenly they want to involve the police. And this self righteousness to me is quite frankly disgusting.

Hi GAtransplant. You said it all and said it very well. How many young men, dating a girl only a couple of years their junior, have been treated like violent criminals when they did what comes naturally with a conscenting girl.

This is a tuff one for me. I was 18 and she was 14, we were both virgins. I am sure her parents would have put me in jail had they known. We kept our relationship going for almost two years when I went into the military and she dumped me. It broke my heart. We were both "young and dumb" and the thought of me going to jail never came to mind. It happened in my second floor bedroom. She walked up there on her own, she took her own clothes off and she willingly climbed into my bed. I am a normal male, not a sexual pervert nor a preditor, Fourty years ago I would have been sent to jail done my time (I'd guess maybe 5 years) and that would be that. Now if convicted you would serve about the same amount of time and depending on what state you were in anywhere from 10 years to life on a sex regester! My son was having consentual sex with an underage girl. She wanted to have a 3-way with her girlfriend, she agreed but later had "buyers remorse" and went to the authorties. My son got the five years, served every day and then was place on the regestry for the next 25 years. By the time he comes off the list he will be in his 50's. He has been out for almost ten years and has lost two jobs in that time because of the regestry. These laws are for preditors not "young and doumb" kids!

I am happy to answer your questions and take no offense that they were asked. Actually, I find the expression of other points of view to be very interesting. I certainly did not mean to stir up a hornet's nest but was merely relating my own experience. Yes, I'm sure my daughter consented but the fact is that at the time, the age of consent in this state was 16, not 14. This was a relationship of several months' duration and had been nothing but trouble from the git-go. One night, my daughter was out riding around in a car with the young man and several friends when the police pulled them over. They were all arrested for possession of marijuana because none of them would admit to who actually owned it. I let her spend the weekend at the Department of Juvenile Justice facility in the hopes that it would teach her a lesson.

After the young man was released from the county lockup, he broke into the empty house next to us and squatted there for several weeks. He and my daughter were found there by the police one Saturday morning and he left my daughter there alone to deal with the consequences. What a man. That was the straw that broke the camel's back for me. I asked the detective on the case what it would take to get an order of protection and he told me that the most efficient thing to do would be to swear out a warrant for his arrest for statutory rape. I was at the police station before the close of business that day.

My query as to whether he has been released was facetious, I know that he has been because he stalks my daughter to this day. She is now 27, married and a mom of two. She and I both consider him to be dangerous and the simple fact is, he's never grown up and his messages to her on Facebook prove it. Do I care that he will be followed for the rest of his life by his earlier actions? NOT ONE BIT. He was both dumb and dangerous and he deserves what he gets.

I completely agree that in the majority of cases of statutory rape it takes two to tango, and I think that was true here as well. I'd be the last person to say that my daughter was an unwilling victim. On the other hand, it was my responsibility as a parent to mitigate the damages and keep her safe. After she was arrested twice in three months, Mamabear had to step in and do her job. I don't think that young men and women who were following their instincts should be penalized for life, but there are cases where the punishment fits the crime. In my opinion, this is one of them.

Just for the sake of clarity, I am neither proud of what I did, nor am I self-righteous. I am merely a single parent that saw my daughter going down a path of destruction and did what I felt was necessary to stop the downward slide. And, by the way, she paid her own penance by going through a hearing, performing community service and facing expulsion from school, as well as coming perilously close to having a lifelong record of her own. I would like to think that most responsible parents would intervene before their daughter became pregnant rather than crying rape after the fact.