Stale oral techniques

Hi guys. So here's the problem: I love giving my lover blow jobs, bit lately he has been reluctant to let me go all the way till he cums. He will stop me, and suggest we do something else. Not sexual something's. So, I want to hear your thoughts in what I can do to keep him interested. Talking to him won't work(cause he's stubborn and will tell me it's because he's tired) and prostate stimulation is out( tried it once. He isn't comfortable with it and I respect that). any ideas or techniques?

Having a uncommunicative lover can be a difficult thing at times, especially when you're left with little clues to know how he's feeling. Guys joke that there is no such thing as a bad blowjob, but those who have had a bad blowjob disagree. Bad blowjobs are usually attributed to a woman (or men) doing it mechanically just to make the guy happy. When a lover is enthusiastic about giving them and shows that she loves it and gets pleasure from it herself rather than just giving him pleasure, men are much more receptive and excited to be with her. Since you're a woman who loves what she's doing, I doubt his reluctance to let you suck him off has anything to do with your technique.

Does he have anything going on at work, university or home that is causing him to be more stressed than usual? Has he curtailed his desire for sex or just oral sex? Could it be an emotional or physical health issue? Is he taking a new medication, such as an antidepressant, which can cause difficulty achieving and maintaining an erection and delaying or inhibiting orgasm. Has he recently changed any of his habits or is it possible he's getting something on the side? Perhaps he's wanting to take the relationship from a physical one to a deeper connection and is trying to spend quality time with you away from the bedroom?

Try to gently guide him to talk about the things going on in his life that might be troubling him. Ask subtle open-ended questions but most importantly, listen to his responses. The more receptive you are to hear him without judgment or incriminating questions, the more likely he is to talk. Don't confront him about his denial to receive oral sex. That would just make it a bigger issue than it already is. Don't talk about it before, during or after sex. Don't prod him the second he walks in the door. Put aside your troubles and focus on him instead. Do what you can to relax him. Hug him just a little longer than usual. That intimate touch and acceptance in your arms may be the relief he needs in his life. Serve him his favorite meal, give him a massage, let him watch his shows, play his video games or do the "guy stuff" he likes to do to get away from the world a while. He's more likely to talk when he's relaxed and maybe the two of you can get to the heart of the matter and work it out.

Good luck.

~ Dianne

Hi Rosemaiden,

you are not kidding us, are you? A woman turned down by her man when she wants to give him a blow-job?

If it's really the case: does you still share "regular intercourse" with one another as you used to?

- If no, than there may be a relationship/psychology issue and Dianne really elaborated well on the possiblities, I suppose (I just love how sensitive women are with respect to what men think/feel. The world would be a better place if men were the same, I guess...). Anyway that's been covered so well I can't add anything there.

- If yes, than (please forgive my openness) there may be a technique issue. Despite common believe a dick can actually be a rather delicate organ. Some men just don't like to be bitten / feel teeth / get too much suction. On the other hand, others just like that and you may be too careful. Squeeze and pull on his balls, use your fingernails and most importantly your imagination as well as your senses.

Maybe setting the scene will do it if you two enjoy a little roleplay. I suppose, most men also like to pleasure their lovers orally so allow him to do that and then return the favor. Your man may like to fondle you while getting a blow job. Let him do it even if it distracts a bit. Visual stimulation and scents are often wonderful turn ons: do a 69 with you on top.

Talking (and trying), in my very limited experience, are the only ways that have some likelihood of success to sexually get what you want.

No matter what, your man should feel blessed!

Hey, it happens. I had a lover who didn't want to receive. He said he was real sensitive there and that it tickled. Duh! He was, however, as pleased as punch to perform oral sex on me, as was damn good at it. But not being able to reciprocate was a bummer.

Um, thanks, I think. When I read my boyfriend Rosemaiden's question and asked what he thought, he said, "Maybe he's gay."

@ libretto and egirlky

Thank you both so much!! I tried some of the things you mentioned and it worked! Actually, it was the hottest I've ever gotten him. Je even said hd couldn't wait till next time. I asked him what was up last time and he said it was a mix of being stressed and tired. He wanted me to, he was just agriad of not being able to 'rise to the occasion', which shocked me since he's normally as horny as any other 22 year old.

@ egirlky: Also, funny enough, he gets mistaken for gay all the time. He's just really metero, but I know he's not. 😉

Great to hear!

Make sure he reciprocates :-)

I bet you deserve it.

Best of luck to you.

He could be experiencing some health issues. I would find this strange and would want an explanation of what is wrong. I can only speak for myself but if there wasnt a valid reason my self esteem would be crushed. I think oral sex is a special service we perform on our men and they should not make us feel we cant satisfy them