How to collect a semen sample

Doctors, I was wondering what is the best way to collect a semen sample.... not so much the mechanics of producing the sample (though I'd be interested in your techniques as well), but what sort of container you use (if any), how do you ensure the sample is caught by the container etc. Thanks for your experiences! 😃

Well Dr Michael, it all depends doesn't it?

The sort of container you use depends on why the sample is being provided. If it is to be evaluated for sperm count and motility it should be sterile, labelled and transported promptly to the laboratory. If you want to put it in a display cabinet then the walls of the container should be as transparent as possible and therefore the use of glass is recommend.

As to how the sample is best caught by the container it should be wider at the neck than the head of the penis so you don't spill a drop. You should hold the container upright and point the penis down.

I guess this post is somewhat sarcastic but really Doctor Michael - a man of your experience surely shouldn't need to ask!