Interesting topic, I will try to keep my reply short, lol, but we all know better now don't we?
First of all, I think that for some people absolutely they are related and developed from being spanked as a child.
I was spanked as a child, not often but when I did they were well deserved. And because of that, and the way I was spanked, it caused a slightly different reaction in the way I like and need to be spanked now, as an adult, but I will get to that in a few minutes.
Spanking is almost an art. Between all the different things that can be used, are used, made for and adapted for, along with reasons for them, mind set, punishment or for fun, the ways to, reasons for, and what not means that there are probably millions of possibilities when it comes to spanking.
Spanking can be both mental and physical in meaning. Sometimes one or the other, sometimes both. Also, can be for pleasure, discipline, or sexual. Can also be any of or all fo the above mentioned.
As an adult, I have received all three different kinds of spankings, pleasure, discipline, and sexual.
For example, when we are out in public and I make a cheeky comment and he swats my fanny a few times, that's pleasure. When he is in Sir mode, and I am in baby mode, and he spanks me very hard, that is also pleasure even though it hurts, but it's not sexual here, either time.
When he puts me over his lap and spanks me, hard or soft, doesn't matter, for me this is sexual.
When I was growing up and was getting my spankings, I always had to listen to a pretty harsh lecture as to why I was going to be spanked, then had pull my pants and panties down to between my knees and mid-thighs and bend over the bed. I was usually told to keep my forearms flat on the bed. When it was over I was allowed to stand up and pull my pants up, then got lectured again.
So, I told you earlier that how I was spanked as a kid has and did make a lasting impression on me as an adult. Well this is where that comes in.
Because I am in control all the time, I mentally need the down time and for Doc to be in charge once in a while, which also means holding me accountable for things in my private life where I am also in control and have to answer to no one. Well, once I got him used to the idea of spanking me, then used to the idea that when I say spanking I don't me a little swat here and a little swat there, but I real spanking, one that will fire me up, then I had to make him understand the mind-set of it all for me when it came to disciplinary spanking me.
In the begining, he would make me pull down my pants and lay over his lap while he lectured me, or sometimes he had me lay on the bed, sometimes with clothes on but pants down, sometimes naked. But, no matter how hard he hit me I had one of two reactions, either I laughed, or it just made me horny-er, or both. I couldn't then, and still can't today take a spanking seriously unless I am put in the same position I was made to be in as a child. Pavlovian response? I'm guessing so.
Once I was able to explain that to him and why, he totally understood. And from that point forward, any of the spanking I got as discipline he made me put my hands on the counter. (someday I need to tell him I really need it to be forearms on the bed, but one step at a time) At least in this position I am and do take him seriously. And as crazy as this sounds, I have asked him to spank me in a disciplinary manner, begged him actually. Him doing so makes me a better person, helps me hold myself accountable and more responsible. I love that he loves me enough to do so, even though at first spanking me was a very very hard limit for him because he was taught never to hit a woman.
The more that I have received from him in a disciplinary manner, the better he's gotten at giving them and the better I have become at accepting them in different locations, settings, and levels of dress and or harshness, because for me, most of the discipline is mental, not physical.
Recently I have done something very very bad. I procrastinated on something so long I could have ended up in a lot of trouble. This is probably the worst thing I have ever done in the 4 years we have been together. He has already told me that I will be punished accordingly. And I am holding him to that. I need him to do that so that I can better myself.
I have told him in recent chat conversations that I both want and need him to step it up a few notches. While I am not a pain slut, I do want him to spank me with his belt a few times. I want to see him take his belt off and I want him to tell me I will be getting spanked with his belt. We discussed restraining me, which I agreed to, but only after he breaks me down mentally first and puts me in my place. Restraining me first, then discussing my infraction, then spanking me probably would only again, make me horny. So again, spanking for me is probably a lot more of a mental thing than a pain thing.
He isn't sure he's ready or mentally able to spank me with anything but his hand, the flogger, or the leather paddle, all of which can and do hurt when applied to a sensitive white fanny, but a belt is a whole different matter. So, we will see what happens the next time we get together?
Until then......
Mashie