How do you know if a fetish or activity will interest you?

Now, I know there is the saying dont knock it til you try it; but if you are interested in something, how do you know if it is just something you like vs. something you might want to try ?

You don't often know until you try. Sometimes the fantasy is much better than the real thing and sometimes the real thing is so mind-blowing you couldn't fathom it until you tried it. I've experienced a bit of both.

I think you should try things three times. The first time, it's taboo so you're worried God is going to strike you down with a bolt of lightning and you haven't a clue what you're doing so it might not be good. The second time, you know you're not going to be hit by lightning, you have a better idea of what you're doing but maybe not have the physics of it down yet. The third time is a charm. You know you're not going to be struck by lightning, you know what you're doing and it feels damn good.

That's my theory anyway.

Depending on the activity you have in mind, you have to try it out and you should start slowly to see if you are interested in making it part of your sexual repertoire.

This especially goes for S&M.

Some people think they really want to take on a rough S&M session and are sadly surprised when they find they got much more than they bargained for because the experienced dominatrix or master had a much better imagination of a severe S&M scene than they did.

If a fetish intrests you you will get horny just thinking of it 😉

Immisterniceguy said:[quote author=immisterniceguy1 link=topic=55986.msg375513#msg375513 date=1313107339]

If a fetish intrests you you will get horny just thinking of it 😉

[/quote]

A fetish might interest you intellectually, and you might think you really want to engage in a fetish but then be TOTALLY turned off by it when you actually try it.

As egirlky and I said, you have to actually try it out in real time (NOT CYBER) to discover if a fetish is something that you want to engage in again and again, or if your fetish fantasy turns out to be a nightmare you wish you never considered..

I couldn't agree more about fetish/fantasy/reality. Some fantasies are better left as just that....fantasy......it's a turn-on to fantasize.... it's also important to allow yourself to try things.... even when those things might be out of your comfort zone. Going out of the comfort zone can be a turn-on in itself. All that being said.... the first priority, no matter what, has to be your (and your partner's) safety. So be careful.... and have fun.... and never, ever do anything you don't want to do. 😘

As when the neighbor girl & I across the street instinctively did, I still do today decades later. Curiosity first, getting knowledge second, slow tentative careful experimentation third. If, by then I or another still enjoy what it is, then a fourth...starting to incorporate as part of play.

G.N.

Its true. some things you might try you might just be okay with, others you dont care for, others become a new favorite

It has been my experience that my fantasies are in the perfect world of my mind. When acted out, they seldom seem as good as imagined. I had fantasized about anal sex with my girlfriend for so long in so many scenarios; when it finally happened, it was truly disappointing. I guess I got my hopes up too much, at least we tried something new. Even when I go to my Mistress with a fantasy in mind to act out, she often misinterprets or makes my fantasy hers so there is some level of disappointment in that respect. I will say that it opens doors to something new and different which is always good to experience but maybe only once.

@egirlky

"...worried about being struck by lightning" lol! You're right though.. 😃

I suppose you just have to go with it and see how you feel about it during and after

Try everything once. im gay but i have fucked women. i asked her to suck me and i thought i should return the favor by eating her. i didnt think i would like it because i prefer to eat men. but i was surprized. i loved eating her out. try everything once---even if your as gay as i am you might find you would really enjoy it

I'd say becoming aware of your interest in any particular sexual activity is both a gradual process of which you are mostly unaware and then it can suddenly manifest itself as a feeling of arousal by something different than what you are used to.

For medfet you very often read that people have had all kinds of indications that related things have interested or fascinated them for a long time without them being aware of this. Many feelings go unrecognized or are also considered as something normal and not that remarkable until compared with other people's feelings on that subject. Then the difference in appreciation becomes apparent.

But a conscious interest in medfet can also come suddenly. I had the 'aha' moment when I came across a medfet story by Playdoc on an erotic compilation C many years ago. That was when i suddenly realized, that this was it, something unusual and yet specially arousing, just by reading. That the combination of medical themes with erotic situations did it for me ... after a short time of reading and exploring and surfing the Net, many things fell in place for me in my mind. It's not that I was ever consciously trying to repress any specific feelings or interests, it is rather that before that particular story, I never realized it as a specific and different type of erotic interest.

I doubt very much that after realization comes, anyone will not have had any signs of this particular interest, it's rather that they will have passed under the personal radar. But when it does come, then the realization can be very specific and clear indeed.

And then you have the 'struggle for acceptance' and peace of mind ... but that's another can of beans altogether ...