When I was six years old I was riding my bicycle, with training wheels, in front of my house when some neighborhood bully boys starting chasing me. There was a group of boys who lived in the neighborhood who hung around with each other. They were older than me and were constantly picking on me. When they saw me, they started to chase me. I started pedaling as fast as I could and lost control of my bicycle. I ran off the sidewalk and off the curb into the street. I also flew off my bicycle and landed on the pavement. My head hit the concrete and I got a nasty bump on my forehead. I also scraped up my legs and arms. To this day, I am not sure if I lost consciousness. I got up and ran home screaming and crying.
My mom put me in her car and rushed me to the emergency room. I remember there was a long wait before I was seen by a doctor. When we finally got in the treatment area, the nurse handed my mom a hospital gown and told her the doctor would need to examine me for possible fractures. I was wheeled into an x-ray room and several x-rays were taken of my head and body. I was returned to the “stall†after the x-rays were completed.
When I was back in the “stall,†the nurse told me to stand up on the gurney so the doctor could examine me. When I stood up, she removed the gown, which left me standing there completely nude. There were curtains around the “stall†but you could see through the separations in the curtains. While I was standing, the nurse removed a thermometer from the table, shook it, applied some lube and then inserted it in my rectum. Almost as soon as the thermometer was in my rectum, the doctor came in. He pulled the curtains wide open and didn’t bother to close them. Now I was totally visible to anyone who wanted to look, standing there completely nude with a thermometer sticking out of my bottom. I was so embarrassed I could have died.
The thermometer stayed in my bottom until the doctor finished examining me. After he left, the nurse took it out and told my mom she could put the gown back on. By that time I was so humiliated I could have died right then and there. The doctor returned with the x-rays results and told my mom that nothing was broken and that I did not have a concussion. I was released and went home.
I am not sure if it was that event that triggered the fantasy that I have with RT, but I think that the trauma of standing there completely nude and having my RT taking in front of the world might have either started it, or it was a major contributing factor.
Does anyone else feel that a major embarrassing moment of complete vulnerability and helplessness might have triggered you RT fantasy?