Crying - Spanking

I have never been spanked, and have had this as a fantasy for so, so long. I would love to find someone that would be patient and teach me the pleasures of a good spanking. Just a red bottom spanking. Nothing harsh or leaning marks.

I don't like to cry and admitted to Sir that I asked for a break after our last fun spanking session because I was close to crying. I tend to internalize stress. Depending on my level of stress/anxiety at our next session, he has mentioned wanting to spank me until I cry to help me release that stress. I think it has some merit to it. But it's something we'll discuss further, before our next session.

In the past when spanked by my parents I always cried.

I would like to cry for real when spanked, but I can't.

I'm not twelve anymore. Would like to.

When I was a child I would cry occasionally, more from humiliation than the pain. As an adult, I came close to tears with one of my play partners as she spanked me hard otk. As I get older it's more difficult not to break down, but that's what spankings do.

At first, the pain of the spanking by itself was enough to produce the tears. Later, even when I thought I was beyond that age, I was old enough that I realized how I had disappointed Daddy (and/or others) to be getting the spanking in the first place, and the crying was in some cases worse, because it was more heartfelt.

My Wife/Mistress is very skilled at correcting me with stern reprimands and corporal punishment. If I deserve strict discipline, she usually sits on the spanking chair and instructs me to strip naked, get on my knees in front of her, and look up into her eyes while she lectures me. If she is very disappointed in me, tears usually start to well up in her eyes while she reprimands me, and this brings silent tears to my eyes also. After the lecture, she instructs me to fetch the implement(s) that she will use to discipline me (always the hairbrush, and sometimes the leather strap and/or bamboo stick also). I am expected to fully surrender for my punishment, which includes remaining very still while my butt is being tanned. But, I am allowed to cry as hard as necessary. But crying only. Unnecessary or overly dramatic screaming/wailing will NOT be tolerated. She always makes sure that I start crying like a baby while I am over her lap for the hairbrush. Of course, my crying continues if I am also to be whipped with the strap and/or thrashed with the bamboo. The tears eventually subside during corner time.

A few years ago I met a woman on line who was looking for someone to give her discipline spankings on a regular basis. It was strictly non-sexual. That was made clear at the start. She was married, but her husband wasn't in to spanking her. They had tried and it didn't work for them. He had a hard time understanding her need for it, but was quite happy for someone else to do it for her. We chatted for a couple of weeks on line, then met them at a quiet cafe for coffee and just generally got to know each other.

After the cafe meeting she e-mailed me and said that both she and her husband felt comfortable with me and would I like to spank her at their home. Her husband would be home, but in another room.

The first meeting went quite well. Her husband met me at the door and told me to go on into the bedroom where she was waiting for me.

She was laying on the bed with her dress pulled up and her panties around her knees. She turned her head to me as she said HI and asked me to close the door.

She asked me if this was ok, meaning the position she was in, and I said if she was comfortable like that, then we would start. She said before we start, I want you to be sure this needs to be a punishment, so make it hurt.

WE had arranged a safe word beforehand, so I proceeded by sitting on the bed beside her and delivered the first couple of swats hard and fast. There was a sharp intake of breath, so I asked her if that was ok, to which she just nodded her head.

I carried on taking my time to fully cover her rather ample bottom with lots of pink, then red handprints. After about ten minutes of this she was beginning to squirm and I asked her if she was still ok. She nodded again and said harder please, and I noticed there was a bit of a catch in her voice.

My hand was beginning to get a bit sore by now. I noticed a hairbrush on her dresser and thought about asking if she minded if I used that, but we hadn't discussed that beforehand so I picked up the pace with my hand and laid it on as hard as I could. She was squirming all over the place by now and starting to vocalise, Oh Oh Oh. I kept this up until she finally used her safe-word. She was sobbing by now and I gently as I could, caressed her red and hot bottom.

She eventually stopped sobbing and reached back and pulled up her panties. Rolling over, she stood and then sat herself gingerly on my lap and put her arms around my neck and briefly kissed me on my cheek and said “Thank you”

There were tears still coming from her eyes and I wiped them away. She had to be aware of my obvious erection as she was sitting on it, or maybe her bottom was so sore she didn't notice it.

That was the start of a relationship that lasted quite a few months until they actually moved.

It never developed into anything sexual, not that I would have objected, other than I would masturbate later at home thinking about each session.

Sorry this turned out to be a rather long tome, rather than a quick answer. 😃

So to answer the question. Spanking to the point of causing tears definitely does turn me on. I suppose you could say I am a dacryphiliac to some degree.

Sometimes I’ve been spanked or flogged to tears. Not every time, usually when I need that kind of release. Most of the time I Yellow before that point. My doms husband has enjoyed those times when I have let go and cried very much.

When being given a spanking and finally letting go of your emotions allowing your tears to flow will provide you with an incredibly beneficial cathartic experience. The relief and inner cleansing you will feel afterwards is an event that once experienced you will totally agree. Naturally the person who administers this spanking to you must be a trusted friend and very much understand the proper about after care and comforting. Don't miss out on this experience and when you do, let us know here at Zity.

I really cannot conceive how I would ever be made to start crying.

I was brought up to never cry because of pain or injury, because crying never solved anything anyway and only annoyed people attending to you. Only crybabies cried and that was something I really hated being thought of. I may have been a wimp, naive and far too polite, but no one would ever catch me crying. Stiff upper lip and all that I suppose … ha ha.

The only time I remember actually crying was when I was 10 or so and fell off a horse while learning to jump fences. I couldn't move my arm afterwards and was taken to the hospital for x-rays. When told my elbow was broken, then I started because I stupidly thought that it meant amputation, which I didn't fancy at all! But the stupidity of mine was for me the worst part of all, being shown as being pretty stupid.

I was brought up to never cry because of pain or injury, because crying never solved anything anyway and only annoyed people attending to you. Only crybabies cried and that was something I really hated being thought of. I may have been a wimp, naive and far too polite, but no one would ever catch me crying. Stiff upper lip and all that I suppose … ha ha.

My guess is crying would be an emotional release, seldom as a result of the pain. Even then, I would consider it a sign of weakness!

Crying is a definite catharsis for me. Done by the hand of someone who loves me and knows my needs, it can bring great release and afterward I'm really turned on because of they love me even though I need to cry sometimes. I definitely think tears are vulnerability and that not everyone is comfortable with that and the partnership can make or break whether the exact same action causes tears or not. I can also grin and bear it if I am just being punished for the sake of punishment. But there is another level of my partner seeing me tense and in my head and inviting me over their lap and working me up and taking me past that point of surrender that is meeting my core need.

I was brought up to never cry because of pain or injury, because crying never solved anything anyway and only annoyed people attending to you. Only crybabies cried and that was something I really hated being thought of.

I think my sub goes by that life motto. He hates getting a spanking but puts up with it occasionally because it does make me hot. He has yet to cry when spanked. But maybe I have just not spanked him hard or long enough.

I think my sub goes by that life motto. He hates betting a spanking but puts up with it occasionally because it does make me hot. He has yet to cry when spanked. But maybe I have just not spanked him hard or long enough.

I'm going to bet you could beat/spank him senseless and he'd still not succumb to crying. He might start to curse and scream abuse and obscenities and threaten you with many foul-mouthed grave consequences, but I have a suspicion, real crying would not be among the reactions.

A true spanking is not something that is physical only. Emotionally, I felt I had failed or disappointed my parents. The spanking brought forth my tears, along with the sting of the swats.

I have not cried from a spanking since I was probably 8 years old and my last real disciplinary spanking was when I was 14 or so. I enjoy all my adult spankings too much to cry and I have had my bare bottom paddled very hard and long, the sting and burn with the first 8 to 10 swat is almost unbearable but then the sting and burn feels good and then I start thinking about the whole process being naked and presenting my bare ass to be paddled and holding my position and the warm feeling and slight sting that remains when the paddling stops.

I guess for me crying is an emotional thing and all my adult spankings i very much want and desire, also we don’t use spanking as a discipline or role play, but I definitely do like to watch others role it’s very exciting to me.

And the main thing is if I were to ever cry when my wife was paddling me she would never do it again, it has taking me long enough to get her to really paddle me hard . When I first started asking to be spanked she tried so hard to analyze why I wanted to be spanked like was it something in your child hood , I told her your just over analyzing this whole thing I just want you to paddle my bare ass as hard as you can, so now she seems to like doing it, I’ve watched some of the videos of her paddling me and she seems to be smiling and almost laughing as she swings the paddle and when she finishes she will say your ass is as red as a tomato.

Arousal from seeing people in distressful or painful sexual situations has its roots in sexually sadistic tendencies. Crying is the mental sign of the physical distress. There may be sexual arousal from a twisted nurturing instinct to save and protect in response to cries of distress, but I think the sadistic instinct dominates.

Everybody lies somewhere along a spectrum of proclivity for sexual sadism. I trust the vast majority have enough human empathy to keep their basic instincts in check, and remain fantasy or play sadists. At the extreme end of the scale are sadists who cannot help but act on their instincts criminally without their victims' consent. Many like to think that they have lost those basic instincts of cruelty and sadism against outsiders so often seen in the daily news, or in documentaries showing the brutal behavior of our closest evolutionary cousins, the chimpanzees. But it is hidden deep within the human psyche and rears its ugly head now and then. So is sexual sadism/masochism, which comes from somewhere in our evolutionary history where acceptance of pain or dishing out pain was required for procreative success from sexual interactions.

If you've ever felt schadenfreude on seeing your competition fail, or rejoiced at the tears of a defeated rival sports team, then welcome to the human race, you have a human psyche and possess some of the baser instincts that govern sadism and its cousin sexual sadism.

If you've ever felt schadenfreude on seeing your competition fail, or rejoiced at the tears of a defeated rival sports team, then welcome to the human race, you have a human psyche and possess some of the baser instincts that govern sadism and its cousin sexual sadism.

@Phoenix I get the jist of your post and the correlation with sadism and pleasure in seeing someone fail. Everyone likes to win, even when their competition fails. But real winners rejoice more in winning when their opponents perform at their best.

If one delights in another’s weakness or failure, who is really the stronger?

I am definitely more turned on and often emotionally affected by scenes where crying happens. I don't consider I was abused at all. I was very loved but I was spanked as a child and was regularly told “ stop your whining or I will give you more” Now, if my husband spanks me, I get more out of the experience if I am reduced to tears. For that to happen, I need a long (gentler?) spanking with a few sudden very hard spanks that I'm not expecting but for the spanking to continue for a while whilst I cry. It kind of shocks my mind into giving in and there's a clear release following it so I feel kind of ‘reset’ if that makes sense? I appreciate a good cuddle after one of those spankings and I also feel I've never loved my husband more.

I doubt I would even wish to truly try spanking a partner unto tears. It sounds a scary thing to do, because you, the spanker, the hard spanker, must trust your partner enough to realize they will not be outraged or angry afterwards.

After all, some may say they wish to be spanked hard unto tears, but when it actually occurs, who is say they might not be very resentful at what happened and end up blaming you for all sorts of misdeeds? And since this is physical violence being perpetrated on someone, I would tread extremely carefully that a spanking session, unto tears or not, doesn't backfire on the spanker.

Just saying because it is so hard to gage someone's reaction down the line. Most think that the spanked person has to truly trust the spanker, but it works both ways. A spanker has more to loose potentially.

Which is why I personally would be very very wary spanking someone unto tears, certainly when alone with two. Maybe that is why spanking/BDSM clubs or gatherings are a better venue for such activities. Then you have witnesses who can vouch for the agreement - and stop things should they get out of hand.

@agracier I definitely agree it's not something that you should plan to do if you don't know your partner well. I can see how easy it would be to end up in hot water. It would be very sensible to play in a BDSM club where you might have witnesses if you don't know them that well.

I, personally, like crying. Both when I'm being spanked, and when I'm the spanker. For me, it's the “final step” in giving up emotional control when I'm being spanked, especially if I'm being restrained at the same time. I definitely feel an emotional release when the tears come, and for some reason I end up having an orgasm faster/stronger afterwards.

It's the same when I'm the spanker….I feel that my sub has finally given up the last frontier of control, accepts that they are submitting, and being a true submissive.

I enjoy being spanked/caned/flogged in the course of sex. It’s a delicious layer of pleasure/pain and I want some pain. I do not want my skin to be opened, though, so there is a fine line.

My husband does not enjoy spanking me. He indulges me because I ask. If I cried, he would put his foot down and refuse to deliver, but he will strike until I am reddened.

I can respect how some do not see a place for spanking after (or, for that matter, BEFORE) a certain age. However, because I DO enjoy receiving it and it gets me going, I do not feel it would be appropriate to spank my children… that crosses a different line in my head (my children have always learned better with the removal of a favorite toy or privilege anyway). Different strokes, yadda yadda.

I have not cried during a spanking since I was a kid. But my wife had me crying as she was telling me why i was going to get spanked when we get home because of the way i had been treating and speaking to her!

My ’Daddy’ is a strict disciplinarian when it comes time that he decides to spank me. Spankings are for consequence, discipline or punishment so I know it’s going to hurt, and that I’m going to cry. Some of the crying is because spankings just hurt and some of the crying is because no matter how many spankings I ever had to get, it is always humiliating to have my pants and panties pulled down and be across my ‘Daddy’s’ knee.

For me crying when spanked is a release for me. All the stress is wash out with my tears. The feeling that I been punished hard enough and everything is forgiven. It like washing my sin away.

@Patientlywaiting

I don't consider I was abused at all. I was very loved but I was spanked as a child and was regularly told “ stop your whining or I will give you more”

I don’t consider my spanking growing up to be abuse either, far from it. My mother never forbid me to cry though. Screaming, pouting, and whining were strictly not allowed and followed up with severely. But I was always allowed to cry, and I was allowed to whine a bit as I got hit to express the pain so long as I kept it to a somewhat quiet, reasonable volume and stayed in position. She seemed to understand that there were phases of crying, and would push me past the heavy sobbing into the “still sniffling and crying but in such a way that she could tell I had totally given in” phase where you’re just totally limp and exhausted, and have accepted your fate. Once she saw that’s where I was, she would spank me awhile longer but she would always recognize that once I had reached that point, that meant the punishment had worked, and then all she needed to do was drive the point home. Crying was never taken as a sign of disobedience. Not staying in position and being uncooperative with the process or ritual was the ultimate sign of disobedience. @margo911 put it perfectly

…when I'm being spanked, and when I'm the spanker. For me, it's the “final step” in giving up emotional control when I'm being spanked, especially if I'm being restrained at the same time. I definitely feel an emotional release when the tears come, and for some reason I end up having an orgasm faster/stronger afterwards.

It's the same when I'm the spanker….I feel that my sub has finally given up the last frontier of control, accepts that they are submitting, and being a true submissive.

For me crying when spanked is a release for me. All the stress is wash out with my tears. The feeling that I been punished hard enough and everything is forgiven. It like washing my sin away.

I find that when crying, no matter the cause.