Whoa, cowboy. Slow down there just a bit. First of all, this is not the end of the world. Secondly, medicaltoys.com is historically out of stock on rectal thermometers, and it's not really their fault. I've been dealing with them for years, and this is not the first time this has cropped up. They deal with an Asian supplier for this item, and the supplier doesn't ship this product until they have enough orders to make it worth their while. Because the demand for mercury thermometers is so low in the US, they simply don't get that many orders. They're not picking on you, it's simply an issue of supply/demand. Overall, medicaltoys is a highly reliable and conscientious outlet.
The solution to your problem is quite easy. You're in the DFW area. What you need to do is drive to the nearest feed-n-seed outlet, like Tractor Supply or what have you. Ask them for a veterinary thermometer. They should be able to fix you right up. For obvious reasons, a veterinary thermometer is much sturdier and less prone to breakage than the thermometer you were ordering from medicaltoys. Please don't ask how I know this, just take my word for it. DO NOT waste your time going to a Petsmart, Petco, or other such place, they only carry digital, and you'll be lucky to find that. Your other option is a laboratory supply outlet, like Lab Safety Supply. They carry plenty of simple, non-digital thermometers (and they come in longer lengths than a standard thermometer, if that's your pleasure).
It's only Thursday, plenty of time to solve your Valentine's Day dilemma!
Happy playing!
LadyDoc