As I was doing some shopping today I ran into the receptionist at our doctor's office. She is a friend as well. There was another woman with her, both were wearing scrubs/ I assumed the woman to be a co worker of my friends. As it would happen I was in the laxative aisle getting some mineral oil (we actually use it on the butcher block top to our kitchen island). My friend noticed the mineral oil and knows that my wife is out of town and made a comment to the effect that somebody is constipated, with a giggle.
After about half a heartbeats thought I said, you caught me, I am. Her friend chimed in and asked how long it had been. I said about five days. She looked at the mineral oil and said simply, "orally?" I said yes that's the way my Mom always did it. She came in a bit closer and whispered to me that I should really be taking it rectally. I looked surprised.
The two women said for me to finish up my shopping and and meet them at the front door of the store. I did so. As we were walking out the other lady told me she was the nurse for the doctors office and that she and two of her kids get constipated. She said that she has come up with a routine that gets everything back to normal very quickly. She first told me that I should never go more than a couple of days without taking care of the "problem". If it goes more than about four days she goes through this entire procedure.
I was asked if we have an enema or douche in the house. I said that I thought we did. She asked if it was bag or a bulb. I told her I thought it was a bag. She said that for a part of the procedure a bulb would be better but a bag would work. She went on to say that she has an old douche bulb she uses that works very well. She said to warm the mineral oil up and take an enema with at least eight ounces but preferably a full pint. Then she asked if my wife had any tampons. I said that she probably does. She told me after the mineral oil is in to insert a tampon and it wouldn't really hurt to wear a pad as well. She said I was to hold the mineral oil for at least an hour but two would be best. She went on to say that if I got the urge to pass gas, don't it would be very messy.
After an hour or two I was to expell the enema. Then I was to get the enema bag and make a soapy mixture out of Ivory or castile soap and fill the bag and take an enema. After I expelled this I was to repeat it until there were no more solids coming out. Then I was to thoroughly rinse the bag and tubing and take more enemas until there was no more soap coming out.
She said that I should use the douche tip instead of the enema tip. That it stayed in better and as I was taking the enema I could rotate it to get the most benefit from it.
She told me that she will have to do this procedure once a month or so on herself and that after a few times it gets easy to do. She said that sometimes it takes her four or five bags of soapsuds to get cleaned out then it will take as many as four bags to get the soap out.
She said that afterit's over I'd be exhausted but tomorrow I'd feel like a new man. I can hardly wait to try her suggestions (like I really needed an excuse!)