Threatened Husband, Not Sure if I Should Follow Through

My husband was seriously irritating me last night, and he knew it. Despite the fact that I have repeatedly told him not to touch my navel, he continued to do so. I told him he was going to pay without being specific, and he merrily continued doing what I'd told him not to. I threatened him with an enema, even pulled out my equipment to show him that I was serious, which did nothing to deter him. He even decided to continue this morning.

I have always wanted to at least try administering one to him. I have enough experience with using them both for medical and recreational reasons on myself, so I'm not afraid of doing damage. He has assisted at times, as I claimed medical need, and didn't seem turned off at all by the process.

I am afraid of what could happen as far as our sex life goes though. If it turned out to be something not so pleasent for him, I wouldn't want him thinking of it every time we're in the bedroom, or resenting me for it. I am starting to think that his persistance in irritating me, combined with the giggling that went along with it, long after the threat had been made means he just might like the idea and not want to say it directly. He is the best passive aggressive I've ever met, and never has been overly direct regarding sexual desires. He has gone along with me in trying other kinky things. His not so direct way of asking me to do him in the ass was buying a strap on and attachments. Clearly these had no other use. Just curious if anyone had any suggestions on the issue. Seems like a great opportunity.

The first time I gave someone else an enema, it was to my boyfriend, now husband on a Friday night after finals week in my college dorm when he forgot we had a dinner date. Practically everybody else had gone home. I was dressed, hungry and waiting and he came over three hours late after being out with his buddies and he thought he was going to spend the night. I told him he couldn't sleep with me unless I gave him an enema. This was a surprise to him and he had never had an enema before. The poor horny freshman with an eternal hard-on couldn't say "no." I smacked his butt a number of times, but I slowly and lovingly gave him one quart of plain warm water and played with his balls while he filled up. To complete his punishment I made him expel the enema while I watched.

I wanted him turned on and wanting to to this again, not grossed out, in pain or having cramps. Over twenty years later, We are still giving and getting enemas from each other.

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As far as his annoying you by touching your navel is concerned, you have to tell him to stop in no uncertain terms. If you truly find it annoying, he must respect your wishes, and his punishment IS NOT your giving him a "punitive" enema that he probably enjoys. It has to be a real punishment of sorts. Tell him you won't do certain household things if he continues or such. You have to decide what will work for you.

Duh, you miss your opportunity . Next time When he plays with your navel, (do you get kind of a sharp tingling, almost shocking feeling too?) Actually follow through and then later he will be clean for anal sex.

It just feels funny, like a tingling that radiates downward, and not in a pleasurable way. I figured I was better safe than sorry and didn't punish him with anything other than refusing to do anything around the house for a day. There's always a next time. I'm lucky he has come as far as he has as far as being open to new sexual experiences, so I won't complain.

You might suggest to your husband that playing with your navel is like a circuit breaker that shuts off sexual desires. When he trips that circuit breaker, then follow up with appropriate consequences.

^^^^ I second that enozkk. The man must be made to take what you say seriously.

While I agree with Switchablesusie and enozkk, I also think there is a deeper issue involved; respect. That may well need further and more intense study. Sure, it is fine to try Pavlovian Conditioning but the key is respecting the other person. Just my two cents worth.

Two issues.

First, you should explain that you expect your desires to be respected and that no means no.

Second, you should absolutely give him an enema. Maybe a spanking too. Not as a "punishment" for not respecting you. But because it is something you want him to experience. And, little enhances a relationship like a strap on!