Don't you find this thing a little too dangerous?

I mean has anyone gone over the top on using kind of thing with you? i not sure how fun the experience is but i see a smack on the bum as kinky enough whips and chains too?

In any properly conducted BDSM relationship, the limits are clearly defined and agreed upon in advance. Safe words are used. If either or both parties are uncomfortable with a scene, it should not be tried. That is safety.

Speed

I once was with a dom who was very willing and ready to use a taser on me. Needless to say, there was no way I was going to try that one out.

Safe words and having conversations beforehand are key. And as far as actual safety, how to videos, books, articles are fairly easy to find. I'd recommend doing that especially when it comes to things like injections or something where you could do some serious damage.

Safe words from a GF years ago:

The best time to talk about sex is when you have your clothes on.

Even though I know my partner has interest in this stuff I always feel that she doesn't like it when I'm in the process of spanking her bottom. I definitely hold back (even though I wish I could do more). I just wish she would come out and tell me she likes it so things would be easier. Okay, she likes it, but I wish she would be more open with me. I know it will happen, but I just wish it would happen sooner than later!

As far as being dangerous...only if you don't have a mutual trust with the other person. If you love the person you are with, I think you can avoid being dangerous...

Good advice from the previous posters.

Patience, blahdog, it is sometimes hard to put into words what things turn us on. She may not know exactly what and how to have you implement what she enjoys.

Yes blahdog. MissStress is right - patience.

I don't know if your relationship is new or not. If it is it's even more difficult to express oneself and some people can never voice what they feel. You say on the one hand that you're unsure if she likes what you do together and then you say she does - are YOU talking enough to HER?

One of the things that I do a lot of with my patients when they come with relationship difficulties is to teach them how to talk to their partner and I often do this by getting them to roleplay with me as their substitute partner. It's but a simple step to move on from telling a virtual stranger what they want and what they enjoy, to telling a lover!

One of my frequent contacts has in the past said this to me and I commend it too you:-

"I agree with you - it's a mutual pleasure and as such, both are responsible for the hits and misses. And it's so important and worth it to talk openly and honestly".

Sometimes is best not to talk about likes and dislikes when you're engaged in lovemaking or whatever other intimate activity but to talk about it in a less 'threatening' situation. As ANewNormalcy says - maybe with your clothes on!

You know blahdog - even in the absence of words - the very fact that she continues to allow you into her bed or her sexual life will likely mean she does enjoy what you do together. But do open up to her if you want her to open up to you!

@touchme, You should have said if you use it on your balls and dick first, then you can use it on me... 😁 I think after that, he will think twice.... >😄

I love c b t having my balls and peehole strtetched

A lot of the play I enjoy the most is right on the edge of safety. I do a very thorough job of researching what I am contemplating asking my wife to do to me. This is much easier nowadays what with the web and computers and search engines.

In the old days, I started by checking with BDSM magazines such as Drummer and SandMutopian Guardian. I also knew many people with similar interests I could write (real letters) and find out about their results.

For example, I wanted huge amounts of saline injected directly into my testicles. Drummer had an article which strongly suggested not doing this. They also had a number of men who said it was not nearly as dangerous as it sounds. I contacted some of them. One, the most useful, said that he did his play partners with 50 cc of sterile saline per testicle frequently and none of them had any problems. He gave me names and addresses for several. I corresponded with all of them and found out that they had no problems from this procedure and the amount injected.

Dear wife and I finally did this after I had convinced myself that the risks were within the level I was comfortable with. When she started injecting the saline into my testicle, the pain was incredible. We went slowly and I managed to take the full 50 cc in each ball. Now, I love having my balls hurt and abused, so this was something I was most happy with.

When we finished, my balls were rock hard as they were so inflated inside the membranes that encase them. As the saline was absorbed the pain went down and the next morning I was basically back to normal. I experienced no difficulty.

Do I suggest doing this? No way! Most men will say that is way too risky and they are probably right. One error and the patient could have serious problems leading to surgery.

Each of us must determine the risks of any particular activity. Then we must determine if we want to accept the risks involved. That is called informing oneself. It is the major part of playing safely.

Speed

Patience, care, communication. Can't go wrong.

Before we began our first session I asked my Master what safe word we should agree upon. He said, all you have to do is say my name (his real name) if I felt that things were getting out of hand. When something was getting to the point of unbearable I called his name and immediately he stopped. That has been a huge issue resolved and I now feel that I can trust him without a doubt.

Safety and morality first, after that, anything's fair game

I'm new at this (3 years) and have only had one master. I trust him implicitly which is why I've been able to explore this part of me but we still use safe words and I've used them on occasion. Because he stops when I ask I feel safe enough to let him take me further the next time. At this point I'm doing thing s I NEVER would have felt comfortable with at the start. I would imagine it takes some real time to build up to giving yourself fully to a Dom or maybe that's just me.

I agree with DaveNJ completely ... Patience, Care and Communication are the key!

This site is the sanest and safest site on the internet for people like us as far as I am concerned and I trust that you all feel the same way.

My late wife and I would never have ever considered a "Master/Slave" relationship .... on any given day we served each others needs as required to let the other partner know that they were loved and respected ....

Thanks to all of you who genuinely share and care in our community here ... play safe and enjoy the moments!

There are an amazing amount of kinks out there, falconace. What seems like a far enough limit to one, can be just the beginning to another. There's no rush, enjoy the journey, take the time to find out what the limits are and go from there.

If you go to a pro dominatrix they are experienced in playing safely, the last thing they want is to lose a paying client by going too far or taking the risk of injuring someone

What about buttock injections, Nurse Phillips? As a nurse do you enjoy the feeling of control when giving painful shots in vulnerable bare bottoms?

2 ‘disclaimers’; 1. I've never been tied up by someone. 2. I fully understand the need for a safe word, and probably a time limit.

Fantasy; to be captured and restrained with no chance of escape until my captor releases me. (In my case this includes being diapered so there is not even that need for release) In my mind I wonder how genuine the scene would feel if there is a safe word and a time limit. The ‘captured’ is not really in bondage as they still have control.

Has anyone thought along these lines and how does one ‘solve’ the dilemma?