Obsessed with fear?

Ok, I am sure you have all noticed that I have not had any very good experiences with anything medically related… That being said, I am absolutely dumbfounded by the fact that I can't stay away from this site and others medically related. You might have also noticed that on different days, my mood and perspective/personality changes, making it seem like I contradict myself time after time. I believe it's caused by my curiosity of what could happen and what I would do in the situation, and the fear of what could happen and what someone would do to me. I really think my responses have a direct correlation to how threatened I feel by the topic I am replying to. I would like to apologize for all of my negative posts, really. Sometimes I go back and read what I have written in the past, and it just doesn't sound like something I would say at all. It's like I don't recognize myself in my own writing.

My question here is, can someone be obsessed with the rush they get from fear to the point that they purposely put themselves in situations that scare them just for the rush of it? If so (and I believe that it is possible…) is there a way to do this and be careful or and what sort of precautions should I take to prevent myself from doing something really stupid?

In all other aspects of my life, I am very, VERY, very careful of people and their agendas. I am extremely guarded and don't trust anyone to be a genuinely good person. I am sure that feeds into my fear of others (especially in the medical field) but is it possible that part of me feels “addicted” to the rush of the fear causing me to seek out situations where I know I'll be terrified, but I do it anyway? I am sure these are questions for a psychological specialist, but trust me, I have seen the shrink and even he doesn't “get” me. I know I have to try to figure this out on my own, so I am merely looking for suggestions or opinions on my situation.

When I look at the toys, I honestly get wet in my panties… When I read the stories, I get so absorbed in them, it's like I am there feeling the terror of the unknown… When I talk to people, I am immediately defensive though, which doesn't make me very many friends. Oh, and the fear fetish thing doesn’t extend to watching horror movies or anything like that. Anything gory just totally turns me off and makes me sick, so it’s not that sort of fear addiction. I completely understand that a fear fetish is a very dangerous thing to have, but is it a real thing or am I just confused about what I really like?

Any suggestions or opinions? Thank you all for being so patient and caring. It's a side of people I am not used to seeing.

soumise

In my youth, I was terrified of buttock injections but I used to fantasise about them whenever not in danger of the real thing. Whenever I was ill, however, I consciously suspended fantasising lest I tempt fate. I now enjoy injections in my bottom (especially when given by beautiful nurses) and I am nostalgic for the fear I used to feel because it made my shots all the more exciting.

You can absolutly be addicted to fear. You say it's not the same as going to a horror flick, but actually it is. People addicted to roller coasters, horror movie. X Games type sports etc all share your addiction/fetish, they just have different triggers.

Soumise,

I cannot speak for others, this is the first time I have viewed this, and do not have any discomfort in replying. 😃

That being said, it is not an uncommon thing for people to enjoy the feelings and emotions associated with excitation or stimulation,the rush of adrenaline can be very appealing and/or addicting. It can be from a variety of sources, sexual or non sexual, connected with the use of medical instruments and scenarios or not, or things completely outside the definitions of our community here. For me, it is important that I find,set and do not go beyond the boundaries of what is and is not harmful to me, both physically and psychologically. After I have done that, then what is left for me to do is decide if I want it to continue.

If I do, I then establish a moderation level that will not go beyond my own emotional saturation level & helping to enhance continued enjoyment over a long period of time or the cycle it will follow if for a shorter period, you will know, for me, moderation is a significant key or tool that is very useful.

You are wise to be cautious and careful in wanting to avoid doing anything that would be foolish or potentially harmful to you, those are your natural instincts speaking to you, heed them. Once You have decided what your boundaries are, then you are set to go about your particular enjoyment as you please. Safely included within those boundaries is the healthy decision of being selective about who you may or may not associate with in face to face scenarios, this is good. Below, I will make an effort to give a brief nuts-n-bolts description of what arouses me and why, please note that the majority of it is generally covered in my profile statement with the exception of the last sentence.

The objects that arouse:

Things gently inserted rectally include enemas and/or well lubricated nozzles, butt plugs, inflatable nozzles or plugs, sigmoidoscopes,anoscopes, proctoscopes,dilators, a rectal or vaginal speculum,thermometers,gloved fingers. Things gently inserted into the urethra of my penis include sterile or as near sterile as possible well lubricated assorted sounds, catheters, thermometers,cytoscopes,small dilators & urethral specific e-stim devices. Anything that generates or is associated with pain I do not have anything to do with.

The Reason for the arousal:

All of my life,the use of any of these things have caused profoundly very intense physical arousal for me. It did not matter if it was in the course of routine medical procedure or done privately solo or partnered. The arousal and focusing on the source of that arousal,both physical and psychological was and is undeniable. To this day, there are times just the sight of or discussion of these things is all it takes to get my mind racing along in that direction. Over the years I have learned how to moderate my thoughts and actions in order to prevent the potentially awkward situations you clearly mentioned above, also being selective about who I do and do not discuss these things with.

I hope that you have found something useful to you in answering your question(s) in what I have said, if not,set it aside or feel free to ask for further clarification. Remember, you are not alone and that your "fear" is a type of arousal,set your boundaries,take your time,get to know people. 😃

Sincerely,

G.N.

You know...I find myself in a similar situation. I hate going to the doctor. In fact I put it off as long as I can because I hate being poked and proded at. But at the same time I can't understand why I'm drawn to this website. I get so aroused reading about this stuff and seeing pictures but when I go to the doctor I hate it. *sighs* I don't think I'll ever understand myself.

Real medicine usually isn't fun. It's the lure of med-fet (which is fun) that attracts us.