Why are some British women so prudish?

DrZ, I agree with you 100 percent on everything you have said here. Also, thank you for being open minded enough to understand from a psychological stand point exactly where I was coming from. I would hope that all American's understand that Monty Python and Benny Hill are not documentaries, but when all we see are those two shows and news casts about the Royal family, most of us just don't' have any other information to form an opinion from.

And, unfortunately even now those stereotypes are usually what we see most of even on your own channels that are broadcast on American TV. The BBC network is crammed full of shows that drive home the notion of prude type behaviors. Look for example at shows like Downton Abby, Call the Midwife, and You Have Been Served, 3 of which keep reinforcing those old time stereotypes. I did just go and look at the BBC America website and noticed a lot of shows that are so much more up to date and what I feel will help to diminish how many across the world think of all of you across the pond.

Even still I am not sure why so many of us outsiders whether they are from America or other countries would still think that you as a country haven't evolved up out of the old fashioned ways. I mean, it's the natural order and progression of life as a human and of a race of people. You can't expect to stay the same and survive, that's ignorant and non-evolutionary thinking. And whether you believe in evolution or not, simple basic logic, not to mention a bit of common sense will tell you that if you stat stagnant, you will not survive.

Mashie

If anyone in the world is too prudish to masturbate, they will not be visiting this site to offer an answer as to why they are so prudish. That much we know for sure.

As for portrayals of prudishness on tv, it just serves to build tension within the show and thereby escalate the entertainment. On a lot of sitcoms you see a guy make a big deal out of it when a woman tries to put a finger or a toy in his butt. He may even act traumatized, which usually results in much canned laughter. If the guy had been totally fine with it, there would be nothing to joke about. So the writers create a more prudish character in order to establish a sense of a conflict/irony. There has to be something at stake in a story. If a character is completely open-minded about all things sexual, then any sexual occurrence is inconsequential. If they are narrow-minded about it, then it is a big deal when something happens. It's hard to write a situation that is actually a big deal, so the shortcut is to have a character who makes a big deal out of something that really isn't. All writers do this.

I took Screenwriting 101 so I know what I am talking about!

HC I don't think anyone would argue with you on your points.

Mashie

I totally agree with DrZ, and would argue that from some perspectives American women are the prudish ones. Breastfeeding tents and capes, for example, are still something of a rarity over here; you will find many women feeding openly, but really not many at all feeling the need to cover themselves. Indeed, there is quite a backlash against any suggestion that we should cover ourselves whilst feeding our children. Contrasting this to the picture my US friends give, it would seem that public feeding is not very well tolerated unless one is wearing one of those faintly ridiculous contraptions. Similarly, on an issue of dress- I am in the minority over here for dressing (and insisting my daughters dress) modestly. Most women you see in public are happy to show flesh, and care not that their underwear straps are showing, or that when leaning forward their entire cleavage is on show. Schools tolerate what to me verges on indecent length skirts, newspapers are full of scantily clad women, high street stores sell fashionable clothes which frequently cover only just where they touch, as my mother used to say.

I think also that people sometimes confuse prudishness with good manners. Whilst we might never get to see it, from all accounts the Queen was rather, to use the colloquial term, a go-er in her younger days. If my experience of older people is anything to go by, there is no reason to assume this has changed. However, it would be extremely poor manners to show this to anyone other than people in her immediate circle, more so given her standing. It more to do with appropriate behaviour for the circumstance one finds oneself in rather than any notions of prudishness.

Binky this is to you most of all but to all the others across the pond too. I hope none of you were offended by what I said because I by no means meant anything I said as an insult. Binky I referenced that I knew some Brits that were younger than me and that I didn't see them as prudish and that I thought they were so funny and so forth. You actually were my thoughts behind that statement.

I also agree with you on your take about the Queen from all sides. Royals are raised to be classy people, to act classy, be classy and to set examples. I think there can be a very fine line at times between prudishness and good manners as well. And again, there is absolutely nothing wrong with either at all.

I was simply trying to give you all a somewhat simplified psychological reasoning if I may, as to why other countries often times see your, meaning the Brits, older generations as a bit prudish. And again, I am not saying I agree or I disagree because to me it's basically silly. But I am giving you all also a logical reason for where and how we came up, and by we I mean everyone else outside of England, not me however, with the notion that the Brits in general can be a bit prudish.

Back to the manners statement. I think that while there is a fine line sometimes between being a prude and being proper, for the most part the world does mistake the two. I have done a lot of studying of cultures and religions because it just fascinates the crap out of me and from my studies for the most part, over the past 30 years most of what we see is manners as apposed to prudishness. And I could even go one further and say that in the generations past 30 years prudish still might not be the correct word but a better word would be reserved, or dignified.

Part of the beauty of humanity and of the world is that while we all come from different countries, different backgrounds, different classes, different cultures and or religions we are all still humans. We have the ability to celebrate our differences. Something I never quite understood is why we as humans don't take what we can learn from everyone and combine it to better ourselves, as a people, not as a country. Every country, every corner, every person has the ability to change, the choice is whether or not they are going to make a good change or a bad one. Everyone could be a bit more classy and or modest like most of you Brits are. Everyone could be a little bit more friendly like the Aussies are. Everyone could celebrate and cherish our elders like the Asians do. Everyone could be a bit more open minded and free like we Americans are. We all have something to offer. We just have to be big enough people to push notions, ideas, and differences aside so that we can have the room to be receptive.

I have to be honest with you here, I don't actually think the original poster meant to be offensive at all. I believe he was simply trying to understand a culture that he was not familiar with. Because he probably like many of us only know what we are shown in the media or up until recently what limited amount of British TV we were able to see here. I also understand that it is basically ignorance, but it's not intentional ignorance or ignorance that was meant to be offensive. Know what I mean there? There is a huge difference.

A good example of this kind of ignorance is something in my life actually. As you all know I was born and raised in Amishville USA. Everyplace I have ever lived my entire life until the past 8 years has been basically, well no, it has been all white. It wasn't something I did on purpose or sought, it just happened to turn out that way. Well needless to say, and I gotta be 100 percent honest here, I am not even sure what term at the moment is the politically correct term to use. So if I offend anyone, please forgive me. I will use the term "black" for simplification purposes for the rest of this story, and again, not trying to offend. However I am not at all familiar with black culture or history at all with the exception of what i have read and or watched on TV.

So the city I live in now has a fair amount of black people and I have had the pleasure to have worked with quite a few. So we were outside on break and a few of them were talking about hair products and being "ashy". Well being someone who likes to learn new things and takes every opportunity to learn where ever possible, I flat out asked them what ashy meant. They had to laugh at me because no one has ever asked, and everyone in this city grew up with black people and are good friends so they are aware of stuff like that. I explained to them my history of where I came from and why I didn't know. Once they understood where I was coming from and why I was asking they actually went out of their way to explain things to me if they were talking about ethnic things in front of me. They were not offended at all because they knew I was ignorant. Not ignorant out of trying to or being offensive, or ignorance for any other reason except lack of knowledge.

So ignorance while not always favorable sometimes just is because of lack of knowledge, education, or exposure. Often times we can't help it if we are ignorant because we have not been awarded the opportunities, chances, exposures or what have you on the topic in which we are ignorant. So when someone is a bit on the ignorant side and is so because of lack of exposure or education or knowledge, try to see past that and into the real reason they are asking in the first place. It's almost always because they want to understand you more, get to know you more, expand themselves and little by little maybe start eliminating common stereotypes.

That's my take on it anyway.

Mashie

Ah, fret not Mashie- I'm not offended at all! I think there is often difficulty in understanding the tone of written posts; I certainly wasn't implying anything either to you or to the OP. I was kinda surprised (and amused!) at the assertion that British women are prudish; as I said, from a UK point of view, it's more generally felt the case that American women take the 'prude baton' on by many more leagues. I suspect that might have something to do with our perception that more people identify as Christian per head of population than they do here by far, and thus the women of said beliefs are more likely to hold to the tenets of a Good Christian Life (by which I mean no offence- as I'm trying to say, I'm comparing our perceptions too!) including concepts of godliness, chastity and modesty; all of which are not likely to discourage prudishness.I agree totally that ignorance is most often caused by lack of opportunity to learn, and that it's only by being open and engaging in discussion that we all get to exchange views and maybe our way of thinking resulting in increased knowledge and tolerance for our fellow humans. I too enjoy learning about cultural differences, and find exploring the difference between British and American culture especially fascinating because whilst we share so much, we are also so different but often in very hidden ways. I find myself (on an almost daily basis) sharing knowledge and 'correcting' assumptions made by others (british and American) in at least two different ares of my life, and you know what? I positively enjoy it. So bring it on- let's cherish, celebrate and enjoy our differences! 😃

I agree with the concept that American women are far more reserved than British women. I have seen how shy American women can be when they go onto a topless beach.

I agree with the concept that American women are far more reserved than British women. I have seen how shy American women can be when they go onto a topless beach.

When we moved to Belgium in the early 1960s, the general impression about Americans seemed to be that they were all too morally loose and hedonists, that they were too fixated on making money by any means possible, had too much of a yen for fast cars and that American movies were full of sex and violence and that Americans themselves were in the main simply obsessed with sex and big boobs. And I forgot to mention that some people thought the streets were paved with gold as well ... well, allegorically at least ... 😃

Well, all that was silly stereotyping, residual impressions left over from the war and liberation and from watching bad American movies. If I had told my schoolmates and later my friends that just a few decades down the road, that the general impression of Americans would be that of prudish and religiously obsessed population (partly at least), no one would have believed me. Nor would I have been able to predict it either.

But I have had experiences with an American exchange student totally unwilling to see the statue of Manneken Pis in Brussels, a tourist attraction par excellence and fulminating over the depravity of paintings by Rubens (nudity don't you know - though they even hang in churches!).

Mashie, Absolutely no offence taken. It is very easy to perceive other countries in a very distorted way. In the UK I think people have the slightly comical view that in the southern USA, everyone drives around in pickup trucks and in the more remote parts, drink moonshine brewed in illicit stills - but at the same time, knowing that the image they have been given is a greatly exaggerated and distorted view of the truth. Similarly, some media coverage of Los Angeles might give people the view that it is completely riddled with gang culture, with hispanic youths shooting each other on every street corner. Yes, in truth it is there in some parts, but again this is an exaggerated and distorted picture.

Binky1266, You correctly identify religion as another factor that influenced (and perhaps still influences even now, slightly) British women to take on prudish attitudes. Godliness, chastity and modesty were all seen as virtues in the old days - and people were less likely to question this, to challenge it, to think independently and come to their own opinions. It was received wisdom that was simply accepted without question and analysis.

Another area that I overlooked in my previous posts, but I've commented on before on Zity, is the issue of sex education. This, unfortunately, is an area where British prudishness does seem to survive. Teachers of both sexes find it difficult to discuss certain subjects e.g. masturbation, and they are further deterred by fear of parents freaking out if pupils report back and say what they have been taught. As discussed on a recent TV documentary, a father actually rang the school to complain that the clitoris was mentioned as part of his daughter's sex and relationships classes. He actually questioned what the clitoris had to do with sex education! Yes, seriously! So, even though British women are generally not prudish outside the confines of the classroom, there is still some way to go before it can be eliminated completely. Until that time, some ignorance of sexual matters will persist.

I have no direct comparison between British and American women as regards how reserved they are on topless beaches, but I can say that the British women I've seen seem quite open about showing their chest furniture. My wife has certainly walked tall and proud in those conditions during the four times we have been on breaks where there have been topless beaches.

Interesting discussion, this, but as the OP hasn't been here for two years, I doubt she will ever see our comments. She's British too, or says she is, so I'm surprised that she seems to have the perception that other British women are prudish. Perhaps she was simply trying to be controversial and create a stir.

No offence taken here either.

I agree with everything you have all said over your posts .

As the saying goes " it takes allsorts to make a world "

Nikki

Well to start with THANK YOU to all of you Brits for not being offended and having the willingness to be receptive to what I was trying to express, although not all that well, lol. I do apologize for that. I am usually a lot more articulate.

Well all I have to say to your comments DrZ about many of you have notions that southerns drive trucks and run moonshine. Well, you know what, sometimes there is a lot of truth behind stereotypes. And I have to say that this is probably one of those cases, lol.

Mashie

Indeed, Mashie, indeed.

I believe I have mentioned to you previously that I have known a few nurses - British ones, that is. Something I didn't disclose was that I've known two nurses intimately, and had chances with more down the years. The ones I had sex with in my twenties certainly went for it with gusto, and I really knew about it afterwards!

British nurses have acquired a reputation down the decades for sexual abandon and promiscuity. It is another image that has promoted and exaggerated by certain British movies, for example the 'Carry On' films of the 1970s. In these movies there were often flirtatious young nurses, with a prudish and forbidding matron looming in the background to enforce discipline and propriety, an attitude which always turned out to be futile in the end. This image is clearly another exaggeration, but just like many reputations and myths, there is definitely some truth in it.

My point here is that nurses routinely see the injured, sick and dying at their most vulnerable, and this must take its toll on them mentally. They will need to let off steam more than most in order to balance out their exposure to the often grim situations they face at work. I can understand these pressures only too well. The ones I knew believed in enjoying themselves while they were young and healthy, and weren't about to allow anyone's disapproval or prudishness get in the way of that - and who can blame them?

I have been following this thread closely and I have a different perspective from the original poster as well. My colleagues are predominantly female and either English , Irish or Filipino. I work in ITU ( British equivalent to ICU), I would say first they are all very much extroverts and definitely would not be called Prudish by a long shot.

As Dr Z said :

British nurses have acquired a reputation down the decades for sexual abandon and promiscuity. It is another image that has promoted and exaggerated by certain British movies, for example the 'Carry On' films of the 1970s. In these movies there were often flirtatious young nurses, with a prudish and forbidding matron looming in the background to enforce discipline and propriety, an attitude which always turned out to be futile in the end. This image is clearly another exaggeration, but just like many reputations and myths, there is definitely some truth in it.

My point here is that nurses routinely see the injured, sick and dying at their most vulnerable, and this must take its toll on them mentally. They will need to let off steam more than most in order to balance out their exposure to the often grim situations they face at work. I can understand these pressures only too well. The ones I knew believed in enjoying themselves while they were young and healthy, and weren't about to allow anyone's disapproval or prudishness get in the way of that - and who can blame them?

That's an excellent summary of nurses coping with illness, loss and death . I always remember one of my tutors at school saying that the public thought that they were all "sex mad" because they wore stocking and suspenders with their uniform , she trained late 60's early 70's. My own perspective is very similar to those expressed by DR Z. I was amazed at how nurses let "off steam" at the first Doctors mess party.

Prior to having separate changing rooms I have changed before and after a shift with a number of them in the same changing room before and after a shift, and they think nothing off stripping down to their underwear and getting change, in fact I would say I'm by far the more prudish one.

At work there is a fair bit of sexual banter and flirting on a daily basis. I can't tell the amount of time I had colleagues flash their underwear or had breast rubbed against my arms , back etc just for the fun of it. I used to work with a stunning physio who thought nothing of pinching my bum on a regular basis .

I think the idea of the English Rose and the Victorian attitude to sex and nudity has contributed a lot to the public perception of the way British women are viewed largely by the outside world in general. This brings us neatly into the subject of Victorian sexuality, which has been a continuing topic of debate and fascination. According to their own testimonies, many people born in the Victorian age were both factually uninformed and emotionally frigid about sexual matters. Historically, it appeared that the licentious behaviour and attitudes of the Regency period had been replaced by a new order of puritan control and repression which was imposed by the newly dominant bourgeoisious,and steadily permeated all classes, and lasted well into the 20th century.

Evidence has shown that Victorian sex was not polarised between female distaste ('Lie back and think of England', as one mother is famously said to have counselled her anxious, newly married daughter) and extra-marital male indulgence. I should add that during the Victorian era London had the highest level of brothels ,streets, theatres and pleasure gardens and its associated promiscuity.

As Binky and Dr Z stated that religion has caused some British women to take on prudish attitudes. Godliness, chastity and modesty were all seen as virtues in the old days - and people were less likely to question this, to challenge it, to think independently and come to their own opinions.

Anyone who has lived in the UK knows about the all inclusive 18-30 holidays to the party islands of Ibiza and Ayia Napa will understand just how liberated and extroverted British women can be . I have friends that frequently go topless on beaches both in and outside the UK and don't give it a second thought . I have also had friends that felt comfortable breastfeeding in front of me and nether them or their significant other ( husband, partner or boyfriend ) gave it a second thought .

I think the modern British woman is much more comfortable with her sexuality than their parents generation. As society has changed so has the modern British woman , they are much more liberated and permissive and not afraid to express themselves sexually .

Evidence has shown that Victorian sex was not polarised between female distaste ('Lie back and think of England', as one mother is famously said to have counselled her anxious, newly married daughter) and extra-marital male indulgence. I should add that during the Victorian era London had the highest level of brothels ,streets, theatres and pleasure gardens and its associated promiscuity.

It has often been said that the sex business in all its aspects is usually most profitable under prudish social circumstances. Think of alcohol being banned under Prohibition and suddenly everyone wants a drink, ban marihuana and it becomes very profitable indeed, make prostitution illegal and organized crime is never happier. Even reading about Tijuana Bibles, those small, 8 page dirty comics published during the 20s-30s-40s, many of the people interviewed who were active in the trade said they sold best in straight-laced, bible thumping towns in the Mid-West ...

On Victorians, there is a very long and interesting autobiography on the sex life of a Victorian gentleman. It is written anonymously, far too long to ever read in its entirety, but still worth perusing through. It is called 'My Secret Life'.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Secret_Life_%28memoir%29

the link above also give a project Gutenberg free download of the work should anyone be interested.

there was also the erotic Victorian magazine called 'the Pearl'

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pearl_%28magazine%29

http://www.horntip.com/html/books_&_MSS/1870s/1879-1880_the_pearl_journal/index.htm

I bought Grove Press copies of both when I was rather young and they impressed me to no end, dispelling thoughts of prudish Victorians.

I concur with RN1993- I was a young, innocent student nurse when I went to my first doctors mess party, even though I'd worked as a probationer in the medical wing of my local army barracks. Oh my, I very much soon lost said innocence! I also soon learnt the various ways of smuggling boys into the nurses homes, and, for my block at the very least, the meaning of a hat and belt hanging from a door. We stopped wearing hat and belts in my first year, and thus the object hung was swapped to a colostomy bag, which wasn't quite the same...

I also had my eyes opened to the meaning of "I'm just going to sort out the linen cupboard", which meant nothing of the sort, and was purely cover for going to the linen cupboard with a nice young house officer for a quick... well, I'll leave that to your imagination. Suffice to say it was fraught with danger, for fear that sister would find you. Mind, the scandal caused when one of the sisters was discovered with a consultant 'discussing a sensitive case' is still hospital legend even now!

Wow, those accountings are what good porn are made from. I love those stories. And the reason I love them so much is because one, most are true or very well could be true, two, nurses are naughty, kinky, hot, and great in bed, three, doctors are also naughty, kinky, hot and great in bed, four, doctors and nurses together being naughty and kinky in bed or not, in a closet or not, in his doctors office or not, is just plain freaking hot. LOL.

Mashie

Binky1266, It sounds like you and the other nurses saw the 'Carry On' films as training videos. 😁

I'm sure most if not all nurse training centres were good places to be!

Yesterday I was chatting to a friend who is going through a stressful time at the moment - new job, changes at home, etc. and I suggested, tongue in cheek but half seriously, that she get online and order a new toy and give herself some time to relax and enjoy it. She was apparently shocked. But in a very over the top, "mock shock" way, as though that's how she feels she ought to react to a guy suggesting such a thing. I know her well enough to know that she would enjoy herself and so she bloody well should, without guilt. But there was still this facade of having to appear to be astounded at the very suggestion.

LOL, well a lady is a lady, doesn't matter what country you come from.

Mashie

Yes, Mashie, it is not so much the subject of suggesting she used a sex toy, but I think it is more about who was was making the suggestion, and possibly the setting would be important too. It depends.

Like minded British women may well have very open discussions among themselves about their tastes in dildos, vibrators, ben-wa balls etc. My wife's circle of friends are one example. Sometimes I might be granted the status of 'honorary girl' and not be excluded from the conversation, but that's only because they know me well and are comfortable in my company - and they would know full well that I was not trying to be clever. With other men around who they did not know quite so well, they would probably be far less open to talking about it.

You statement is a total generalization there are prudes in every nationality. The British are no more prudish, it would be interesting to see which survey you base your statement on. I love mastubating while fantasizing. This is my first post but I can assure you reading some of the medfet stories have sent me into mastrubation overdrive.

Shazbat, first of all, welcome to our kinky little club house. Please make sure you read all of the rules and what not prior to posting much more if you haven't already, and thank you in advance.

Now, the original poster hasn't been here for a while. And I think that his questions has been debunked multiple times in this thread. We somewhat established why many people think that way about you Brits. And I think it's safe to say that any of us who did used to think that way probably no longer do.

Mashie

The assertion that British women are prudish is absurd. Those that I've been acquainted with I've found for the most part are less inhibited than some other nationalities. One Australian State (West Coast) has a well represented community of British born citizens & one of just two where the female population by percentage is greater than the male. Foreign affairs fosters good relations 😶